Crazy paranoid militia glurge at work

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

(Not really a rant, but more of a mildly amused babble…)

While poking my nose around the internet, I ran into this site, which claims that the Department of Transportation has been secretly marking highway signs to indicate key facilities for conquest when the UN-led One-World Army takes over the United States.

Normally, I’d just dismiss this as typical militia-nut propaganda, but I was extra-bored today, and decided to read on, just to see what kind of “secret coding system” was being exposed by these guys. The results?

[ul]
[li]Reflective stickers on the back of the signs point to key facilities for conquest. Stickers on the left point left, and stickers on the right point right. Except when they don’t.[/li][li]Arrows on the front of the signs point to key facilities for conquest, except when they don’t.[/li][li]Rectangular stickers resting on end indicate airlift facilities. except when they don’t.[/li][li]Images of pointing fingers on billboards near highway signs are also part of the conspiracy.[/li][li]Three of anything (arrows, stickers, etc.) are “triads” to indicate the facility is really important – except for really important facilities that don’t have triads, or triads that don’t point to key facilities.[/li][li]The DOT’s twenty-year changeover from word-based signs (“Stop ahead”) to icon-based signs (a red octagon) are part of the secret conspiracy, so English-challenged invaders can navigate our highways without problems.[/li][li]Schools and playgrounds and parks have been secretly prepped for the takeover, complete with holding pens (fenced-in tennis courts), landing pads (baseball fields), and high-powered night lights.[/li][/ul]

Anyway, it’s all whacked-out paranoid stuff, and despite my best efforts, I gave up trying to decipher the “secret coding scheme” before I could reach the page that actually explained what the scheme was (why can’t paranoids just spell out the answers like the rest of us?).

If you’re bored, feel free to go pay them a visit. Maybe you can understand this vital component of the UN’s Evil Master Plan™®© and then explain it to me.

2

So, the basis of this conspiracy theory is that the UN can use our street signs to figure out where they are and where they need to go? Isn’t that the whole point of street signs? I mean, it says all that right on the front. Why dick around with secret code stickers on the back?

3

Actually, that website is part of a cunning plan by the Secret Masters of the New World Order to confuse patriotic God-fearing red-blooded Americans and distract them from the real plot.

“Ha!” they’ll say, “look at those fools, peering at the street signs!”, as they give the order to activate the mind control rays located in our television sets.

4

What I find especially amusing is the notion that the UN is weaving this complex, multi-decade-long plot to invade America, but can’t be bothered to give their foreign troops (or at least the squad-level commanders) some remedial English lessons. :slight_smile:

I still can’t fathom the code behind the sticker placement, though.

5

Or maps.