Create a Cliche Soundtrack for a Bad Movie

I was reading the thread about hated classic rock songs and I started thinking about how many of these songs are overused in movies to the point of cliche. Maybe it’s a good movie with a bad song, maybe it’s a good song that’s been used to death (Hello Leonard Cohen’s Halleluiah) or maybe it’s just a song that’s way overused (like Yello’s Oh Yeah getting into every high school movie made in the 80s).

So put on your movie executive hat, figure out a scene, and plug in the available song. Don’t worry about checking if we have the rights to it, just assume we do. I suppose we may need to name the characters along the way, because having names for the characters seems to be somewhat important to making the movies. Bonus points if you can add a record scratch or some other noise as part of the song.

We’ll start it off with these three:

The very first scene in the movie shows teenagers driving around in their cars to the tune of Lowrider. Lot’s of cool cars and pretty girls are shown in quick cuts. We haven’t met the main characters yet. That will come.

Oh Yeah
Inside the school, the new teacher is taking attendance and Joey is the only one not there. And on the first day of school too! Cue Oh Yeah and the school’s resident rebel is walking down the hall. We see his feet, we see his pants and his cool jacket, but we don’t see Joey’s face until he walks into the class and everyone turns to see him, along with the prerequisite record scratch.

Bad To The Bone
School rebel Joey helps out his goofy neighbor Edgar dress up for his date with hot cheerleader Becky. Bad to the Bone plays as we see him in a leather coat and his hair slicked back. Edgar puts on a pair of sunglasses and says “Let’s roll.”

Little known fact, Carmina Burana O Fortuna is latin for “fireballs of shit blowin’ up in super-slow motion and debris flying.”

However, in our movie it’s only gonna be used in the trailer. Won’t survive the cutting room floor. But we can still have it on the soundtrack! :wink:

Frankenstein (Edgar Winter)

The vice principal is down on these rebellious teenagers and in this scene he talks to himself, building into a near-incendiary semi-volcanic rage.

I was going to suggest Peter Gabriel’s “Solsbury Hill”, but again only in the trailer, not anywhere in the actual film.

Gentlemen, I like your thinking.

Noisy trailer with Carmina Burana O Fortuna and exploding proms for the boys, quieter Solsbury Hill trailer with the “coming of age” scenes for the girls. Not that girls can’t like exploding proms and boys can’t like quieter coming of age stuff, but we are dealing with cliches here.

Ehhh, lately I think it’s Kiss Me by (I’ll be damned if I’m gonna Goggle who recorded that). Solsbury Hill doesn’t resonate with a younger crowd anymore.

I Will Survive - Protagonists are forced to dress in drag to escape a prickly situation; hilarity ensues

I Feel Good - Protagonist helps younger kids have wacky fun while he babysits

Hey Now You’re A Rock Star - Last day of School! Low static cam of door to school, which bursts open while students run wild, while some run towards and over the camera.

Shouldn’t that one be School’s Out?

Cut to Vietnam where For What It’s Worth is playing in the jungles.

Just throw in some Whitney Houston. Anywhere.

Depends on the year I guess.

Drive through a poor black neighborhood and hear generic mournful gospel music.

Then a mid-20th century Jewish neighborhood where you’ll hear generic klezmer.

Next a nightclub where it’s generic techno dance music, unless it’s a gay club in which case It’s Rainin’ Men.

You took my idea.

But there’s still the possibility of including “In the Air Tonight” for some underworld meetup scenario and “Give Me Shelter” for the darkly lit drug-taking scene.

We still have to get Tone Lōc’s Wild Thing in there. I think when the hot teacher is getting herself ready for a hot date. It should segue into Hot for Teacher when it turns out her hot date is one of her students.

At some point, a happy person has to dance around his/her apartment to James Brown’s “I Feel Good.”

Takin’ Care Of Business - A group of 20 something’s, tired of office life, have pooled their money together and bought an old bar and are fixing it up in a wicked montage scene, 1/3 of the way into the movie.

After the big smooch at the end among the autumn leaves in the park (they finally got together! Hooray!), fade to black, play a short song, THEN cue Gladys Knight and the Pips - You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

The epic war tragedy Billy Don’t Be a Hero.

My imaginary trailer is for a movie I usually refer to as Livin’ Large, although there are a number of other suitable possible titles. It goes something like this:

(Booker T. and the MGs - “Green Onions”)

“Joe was an Average Joe, with an average life and average problems. Until one day…”

(record scratch)

“Something implausible happens!* Now Joe is…”

(James Brown - “I Feel Good”)

*e.g. he finds a genie, inherits a video game company, or turns out to be perfect double for the Crown Prince of Ruritania.