Create a "Manly" shampoo scent

Since I just ran out of my normal shampoo, i had to get a new bottle, a big, industrial bottle of Suave For Men somethingorother…

It’s not too bad, nice thick lather, but the biggest problem is that they made it smell like watermelons…

I don’t want my shampoo to smell like tasty foodstuffs, that would make my brains too tempting for the inevitable Zombie Uprising, what we REALLY need, is a shampoo with a more “Manly” scent…

My ideas for Manly Shampoo smells…

Hoppe’s No. 9 Nitro Solvent
Cordite
WD-40
Diesel fuel
Pre-mix gasoline…

What would your choices be?

Sweat, with top notes of used engine oil and unwashed levis. mmm.

I don’t wanna smell like gasoline or WD-40 after a shower!

But considering the premise, I guess watermelons and other produce are “womanly” foods, so the alternative would be shitty, unhealthy foods in scent form. I propose:

-Bacon
-Oregano (pick the Italian food of your choice)
-Chili
-Mustard
-Jack Daniels

The BBQ mixture up there would work! (Why yes I did get MrTao candles that smell like both bacon AND bbq, why do you ask?)

On a more serious note, sandalwood.

Or, hell, sandlewood bbq! The smell your woman would find finger-lickin’ good, if ya know what I mean.

My favorite and very manly (and discontinued, I think) soap was vetiver and cedar. Add some sandalwood if you want. Patchouli can work too.

Diptyque (famous French scented candle brand) does/did a John Galliano scent, which I think would fit the bill. It’s very masculine with the scent of leather, of birch wood embers smoldering on an open fire and hints of iris, musk and vanilla.

Leather.

Pipe tobacco smoke.

Other ideas at man candles: http://www.mandleco.com/default.asp

Beer.

It’s supposed to be good for your hair, isn’t it?

Ribeye steak grillin over mesquite charcoal…mmmmm

Semen.

Napalm in the morning

I would so totally let my hair grow out and use a shampoo that smelled like freshly burned gunpowder, if such a thing existed.

^ This, but with the addition of well-worn leather. I had a male friend who smelled like this and he was irresistible.

BTW, I’m a woman, and I don’t want my hair to smell like fermented mangoes any more than men do. I finally found a body wash that doesn’t make me smell like a fruit salad, but I haven’t had any luck with shampoo. I think I’ll have to start making my own.

Durian.

Oh wait, you said no foodstuffs…

the way leaves on the ground smell out in the woods

a damp wool shirt

the slightest whiff of well-worn shoes

Bay rum.

Leather, sawdust, and gun oil. That’s a female perspective, anyway.

The bigger problem, for me, is that a product advertised as more “manly” is watermelon scented. What the hell?

Mulch
Plastic
New Car
Lacquer

No smell.

I’ll second the motion to veto any watermelon or other such fruity scent.

Shampoos are already so loaded with vitamins and minerals, I don’t know if I’m supposed to scrub my scalp with it, or swallow two tablespoons-full every day.

The above-suggested semen scent (post #10 above), by the way, needn’t require a phalanx of donors to produce. It can be obtained from botanical sources too. (See also: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=321896)

The idea is to attract women. So new shoes, wine boxes and cell phones.