How I Met Your Mother: The kids’ mother was simply an egg donor. Ted and Barney are married and raising the kids. Ted is the biological father of one, while Barney is the father of the other.
Raising Hope – Suddenly, Hope is run over by a truck. Grandma regains her senses and kicks everyone out of the house.
Happy Days:
Fonzi does not clear the shark.
I know. I actually felt ill thinking of how bad that would be. Especially the part about them rolling their eyes at their mom…who apparently they killed off in their little fantasy.
Wow, it would be horrible.
Psych:
Abigail returns to town, and is killed in what appears to be an accident. Shawn keeps digging deeper, convinced Yin and Yang are somehow behind it. During the investigation, Gus lets it slip to Juliet that Shawn isn’t really psychic. Henry dies of a heart attack. Shawn becomes so depressed by the loss of his ex and his father that he hangs himself. Juliet and Gus end up together. As it turns out, Abigail’s death was an accident. She was hit by a car while jaywalking. And there is no pineapple in the episode.
Castle: A dead suspect’s family wins a wrongful death suit against Castle and the NYPD alledging that Castle’s presence in a police investigation violated the suspect’s rights and triggered the use of deadly force. Castle loses his fortune, has most of his future earnings garnisheed, and has to move into a crummy apartment in Queens. Beckett is demoted to sargent and transferred to traffic division.
That’s so perfect.
Better With You: Mia goes into labor, & delivers an eldritch abomination that warps reality & swallows Mia, Casey, & the obstetrics team. Last shot is Maddie, Ben, & Vicky fleeing the collapsing hospital. Joel is taking pictures of the collapse, of course.
Cougar Town: Jules dumps Tiny-Eyes & goes trolling for young bucks with Barb–her new best friend. [Silver Lining: “Beef & Bubbles” spinoff!]
The Good Wife: Alicia divorces Peter, & immediately marries Will. They quit law & move to Malibu (with her kids; hopefully the series runs long enough the kids have already moved out & gone to college, because they move with the kids anyway) to FIGHT CRIME!
The Chicago Code: Jarek Wysocki kills Isaac (his niece Vonda’s partner) & reveals that he is in fact the master conspirator, & inducts her into the real family business. All the surviving white cast are retconned as the real bad guys, & the last episode is Teresa Colvin & the now-retconned-as-heroic Ronin Gibbons having to work together to stop them; a cliffhanger implies Teresa & Ronin don’t survive. They do kiss.
60 Minutes: 47 minutes of Andy Rooney plugging new movies.