How "The Big Bang Theory" should end.

Cafe Society
#1

Mrs. Wolowitz visits Amy Farrah Fowler’s lab and is killed when her voice incites an attack by a group of enraged howler monkeys.

Howard and Bernadette realize that between the two of them they have all the skills and resources needed to be the villain in a James Bond film. Bernadette begins work on a superbacteria which Howard will release into the upper atmosphere from the toilet on the International Space Station. They move into a dormant volcano they found on craigslist.

Penny gets a job as a seat-filler at the Academy Awards and wins a part in a Martin Scorsese movie when she crashes the Vanity Fair after party and starts hustling chess. She’s a hit in the Scorsese picture and achieves fame and fortune as an actress.

Amy Farrah Fowler wins the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking work describing cooperative tool use in lower primates that took place in the tragic beating of Mrs. Wolowitz.

Raj marries a loud, obnoxious woman he meets in Las Vegas and finally overcomes his mutism just long enough to tell her “quiet!” The wife is played by Lisa Kudrow.

Leonard becomes an author after his first piece “Roommate Agreement” is published to great acclaim. The New York Times Review of Books calls it “a scathing, satirical deconstruction of pretty much everytihng.”

Sheldon marries Amy so that by community property laws he will have half of her Nobel Prize, which may come in handy as a tiebreaker between him and Marie Curie.
In the final scene, Leonard and Sheldon are moving out; they are leaving for the last time and the apartment is bare, except for one thing hanging on the door.

LEONARD Aren’t you going to take your dartboard?

SHELDON I don’t play darts. That was here when I moved in.

(exit)

Big Bang Theory -- Conclusion Airs Tonight, May 16, 2019!
#2

How How I Met Your Mother should end.

A slow pull out of the beginning narration shows that the guy talking to the two kids on the couch isn’t Ted. It is some guy who killed Ted for being a passive/aggressive wimp who tried to steal his girlfriend, convinced she was ‘the one’. Barney comes out. Robin gets deported and Marshall and Lilly get life in prison for shaking their crying baby to death.

#3

The mother is a surrogate of some sort Ted coincidentally met as one of his students. His wife and the mother of the children is Robin Schbotski, or however it is spelled. The children are adults when Ted finishes the story.

#4

I saw what you did there. Very clever.

#5

Thank you.

#6

BRAVO! Well done, and thank you for NOT having Leonard and Penny get married. Too cliche.

#7

I think the OP is perfect, and look forward to seeing it :smiley:

Actually, after the wedding last finale, when they panned out…I thought THAT would have been a great ending. That’s all, just that.

There is plenty of material to explore still, I’m sure, but I’d be alright with it just ending there anyway.

#8

Thanks. That was the last one I wrote.

TBBT is kind of odd among American sticoms because it’s one (relatively) normal character surrounded by eccentrics, rather than the other way around. Bob Newhart’s shows were the same way. Makes it hard to find a good resolution for Leonard. In the first draft, he was just Penny’s boy toy. Then I figured he could be her agent after abandoning particle physics for something more difficult, Hollywood accounting.

If there are any other suggestions, let’s hear them. I couldn’t have gotten all the characters right.

And really, why do they have a dart board?

#9

I think that’s a pretty standard formula. Have one relatively normal, relatable character surrounded by goofballs, so the audience has someone to serve as a proxy. Jerry Seinfeld, Kermit the Frog, Michael Bluth, Joel Fleishman, Jim on the Office, etc.

#10

I am not interested in any proposal that does not involve Melissa Rauch being naked.

#11

Robot Arm,

I don’t mean to detract from your proposed ending, but any way this show ends with the death of Mrs. Wolowitch will be super good with me.

Mrs. Wolowitch. What a witch!

Can anyone tell me if you are permitted to use the B-word in this forum?

I have, of late, been using a forum in which there are no language restrictions and that has been very refreshing.

#12

Leonard, to explain to Penny how the LHC works, builds a model of it in the apartment using parts donated by Howard. Leonard thinks the parts are dummies but they are in fact real. Sheldon gets a brilliant insight into how to generate Higgs Bosons using much simpler methods than the LHC and decides to demo it for them.

A black hole forms, sucking Penny, Leonard, Howard and Sheldon along with 2311 N. Los Robles into a wormhole in another dimension.

Raj was late getting to the apartment and is outside the building when it vanishes. He stands there looking awkward like he usually does when the others leave without him.

AFF, Bernadette and Howard’s mom (finally shown) all live together surprisingly well in the Wolowitz house.

Meanwhile back in the apartment building in the wormhole, Twilight Zone/Star Trek based events ensue. Penny doesn’t want to have sex with Leonard because she’s afraid of getting pregnant and the nearest decent school is 4.3 billion light years away.

In the vanity card, Chuck Lorre admits he’s dying of cancer and wants to confess his greatest sin. He uses a lot of canned laughter. A lot.

#13

With a bang, obviously. A big one.

#14

There are a few, but there’s also the I Love Lucy and Home Improvement style that center around the hijinks of of the main character.

As a woman living out a James Bond scenario, I’m sure it can be arranged. Repeatedly.

#15

It turns out that Sheldon didn’t quite get Leonard’s rocket fuel into the elevator in time. Which makes the entire series either a dying dream or taking place in a rapidly collapsing parallel dimension caused by the explosion.

#16

Very clever indeed.

#17

Not heat death?

#18

OK, I’ll give. What am I missing here?

#19

Bernadette and Howard divorce, leaving Howard free to marry Raj. Bernadette looks over Sheldon’s work and corrects an error which leads to Sheldon receiving Nobel Prize. In gratitude, Sheldon agrees to bump off Bernadette’s former mother-in-law. Once that murder is complete, Sheldon is forced to become Bernadette’s sex slave as the price for her silence. Amy and Penny become lesbian lovers, but keep Leonard around as their boy toy.

#20

Just in case, I will put in spoiler box.

[spoiler]In Newhart’s finale, The only words Darryl and Darryl uttered during the series were to annoying girlfriends (wives?) that would not shut up,4

Lisa Kudrow was one of the annoying girls, which I didn’t know until now.[/spoiler]