Uh… yes. The thread has been very explicit about this. Why are you acting like this is some insightful observation by you?
Have you read this thread, at all? I mentioned that I’ve tried such vague answers and if anything they promote stupid conversation.
pdts
Definitely another favorite.
Anaamika, you gotta say “Dot, not feather” to their inquiry. If that doesn’t shut 'em up, nothing will.
Antarctica
Bethlehem
Fukue (Japan, 60 miles west of Nagasaki)
My mother.
I lived abroad (Spain) and routinely got asked this question. It never bothered me- saying I was from America or California always triggered a lot of interest and was a good conversation starter. Except this one encounter with the old lady next door:
Vieja: Hey! Where are you from?
Me: Umm, America.
Vieja: America? Like…ECUADOR?!
Me: 
No…North America.
Vieja: You’re English?
Me: No, North American. United States. (starts backing away slowly)
Vieja: (watches me go, grumbling about Ecuadorans)
It’s funny, here in California I still get asked “Where are you from?” when I go shopping at the local Mexican markets. I’m obviously not Mexican, but I speak fluent Spanish, so people are curious.
If you’re just lamenting banality, I’m with you. But curiosity about a new acquaintance’s origins seems sort of normal and friendly to me. Do you never ask others this?
I’ve not often bothered by this question. I live in the South but I don’t have the strongest of Southern accents (except when I want to.) Every day patients ask me where I’m from and I say (town name) they’ll say do you know so-and-so who lives there? and they are satisfied. If they ask further I tell them I don’t really have relatives here as my mother is German and my father from another state. In the small towns of the South, often people ask these questions to find a connection or because they are interested.
I know I have often asked people with uncommon names what ethnic background gave them the name. Similarly, I have asked aquaintances with striking looks about what ethnic background contributed to their appearance. I certainly mean no harm, I’m not trying to “pigeonhole” them, I’m just interested. So far, no one has let me know they were offended.
I’m always interested in people’s ancestry, especially if they are exotic-looking – it’s a question that takes some delicacy in the asking. 
This is what I always say,in a very mean voice.
I suppose I do ask others this indirectly, if it arises naturally in the conversation … it is part of getting to know people. But at least in the UK, to come right out and ask this of someone you’ve just met would be considered not rude exactly, but a little bit uncouth. Maybe like asking someone how old they are: it’s hardly secret information, but does trigger a bit of a ‘why do you care?’ response.
Now imagine upon finding out that you are 40 they start droning on about the other people they know in their 40s, or bring out the crass stereotypes about 40 year-olds …
My objection (and, I think, the OPs), is to people who either interrupt you or say it right upon meeting you for the first time, because you look or talk funny. That is more annoying, it carries a connotation of ‘hey you! something’s odd about you and I’m gonna figure out what that is!’. I don’t care if someone ‘is curious about accents’ or whatever, this is rude.
I have noticed that (white) Americans use ‘where are you from’ as a standard greeting/piece of smalltalk more than British people, and there’s nothing wrong with it. But when you are being asked in a slightly more inquisitive way because you don’t fit in in some way, and they won’t let you dodge the question, with some power imbalances (it is their country, after all, so you don’t want to be too rude), it gets tiresome.
I know that some people like to be the centre of attention, and to talk about themselves to new people. I don’t, really, and the problem with a lot of people who ask the question is that they won’t let it drop, and they won’t let you get away with an evasive answer… they will keep pushing until you tell them. (The other option is to put your foot down, but then you look like an oversensitive jerk.) So it’s fine for the extroverts, but for the rest of us it really is like being put unwelcomely on the spot.
But as I say, just one of life’s minor annoyances.
pdts
People’s approximate ages are generally apparent, and less significant than places of origin. Everybody has been or gets to be essentially all the ages (with obvious limitations)… but for the most part people are from one place each. (Those who say they’re “from” many places often really mean they have sufficient attachment to none.)
I agree. I tend to be curious about all the things that make people diverse and interesting, but I don’t need to know what they all are before talking to somebody. Still, the question “where are you from,” in itself, is hardly an investigation.
But why evade it? I imagine you make the subject seem much larger, and draw much more attention to yourself, doing so. Why not just have a simple factual answer ready and–in most cases, I would think–be done with it?
Sometimes I feel like evading it, because there is often a clear implication of “Because you’re obviously not from here.” That’s the kind of implication that makes want to punch the asker. I’m from here as much as (you) are, if not more. In America, every kind of name is American, every color of skin is American, every cultural background is American.
Exactly. I don’t mind if we’re talking about family, parents, etc, and it’s in the natural flow of conversation. What I DO mind is the freaking inquisition. The worst is levied upon those with no discernible accent but who clearly look different. I’m certainly a prime example of that.
It’s a reminder of people, purposely or unintentionally, grouping me differently. Pisses me off, and always catches me off guard.
It need not be an unfriendly implication. Maybe it is obvious (for every person, there must be some such contexts), and the person is interested in talking to you for that reason.
Yes, but “here” doesn’t mean just America. America is too big for “America” to even be a real answer to the question. I ask it all the time of people I know or assume to be Americans.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s unfriendly. In fact, it usually isn’t. That doesn’t obviate the fact that the implication is offensive.
See, that is borderline offensive.
It’s the people who don’t get asked the question that makes the difference. Regardless of your personal intent, “Where are you from?” carries with it an inherent implication of exclusion.
Look, I don’t know you or what occasions you ask this question, but just as a piece of advice, if you’re asking only people who (in your eyes) might have an “exotic” background, then I would be offended. The very idea of “exoticness” is borderline offensive in the context of a diverse, immigrant society.
If you have some other reason to seek my acquaintance, then fine. And you can broach the subject of my origins or background once you’ve gotten to know me a little better.
I like to meet and know people from a great variety of backgrounds, and I particularly enjoy hearing first-person accounts of experiences unlike my own. This broadens and informs my own perspective. To me, this attitude seems more welcoming and inclusive than the disinterested reverse.
Well, I often ask it of people who are of similar white ethnicity to myself, if that’s what you mean. On the other hand, I guess I don’t see why having a greater interest in the answer of somebody of more-different origins should be offensive. I’ve been the subject of similar curiosity; it seemed pretty natural in context.
Believe me, as a member of a minority group, we are well aware of our differences from the majority. Having strangers come up and remind us that does not feel “welcoming and inclusive.”
If all you’re interested is your own enjoyment and edification, then there’s no downside for you. I’m telling you from the other end of the conversation that you’re sending a meta-message, which is “I can tell by looking at you that you’re not one of us, so let’s discuss the ways in which that is true.”
Yeah, I’ve been in those contexts myself, when I go abroad. Being made to feel a stranger in my own land is an entirely different context.
I’ve had the experience right here in America too. FWIW.
For the record, I’m not interested only in my own enjoyment and edification (though I consider asking a question for my own edification–fighting ignorance–a perfectly worthy motive). I am also interested in other people enjoying and being edified.
When I’ve been asked questions of background, or when I’ve asked it, the meta-message I’ve understood or intended has often been something like, “I suspect by looking at you or listening to you that your background is different from mine–yet here we both are! We may be different, but we must also be somehow the same. Both facts are interesting and good, so let’s discuss the ways in which that is true.”
But I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from, whether it merits special sensitivity, and how I can tell when people may feel this way. I am pretty certain that your feelings aren’t shared by all the people I’ve talked backgrounds with, since some speak quite enthusiastically on the subject.
If I may ask, to this end… where are you from? I take it you’re an American citizen and resident of neither obvious white-European or black-African ancestry. Were you raised in the United States? Is there some complication with giving the town/province/country (as necessary) of your raising as a simple, factual answer?
The town/province/country of my raising? What if I said “Lexington, Kentucky” or Town of Muncie, Province of Indiana, Union of American States? What would you say then?
When I give an answer like “Urbana, Illinois,” I invariably get a confused and frustrated reaction, as in “Come on, you know what I meant to ask.” Sometimes the follow up question is explicit: “Yeah, but where are you really from?”