After seeing techchick68’s .sig, I remembered a few bouts of creative cursing I participated in in high school. Here’s my favourite (aimed a guy):
May your genitals crawl back up into your body and rot there.
And then, of course, “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose…”
Have fun.
From Harlan Ellison: “May a thousand syphillitic camels puke in your couscous!”
also:
may the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your armpits hairs.
may you be covered with sores that weep like your mother did on the day of your birth.
Your mother must be so disappointed.
SACK!!!
As in, “You meat-sack!”, “This sackin’ thing.”, “Ah, sack!”
I’m not sure if it qualifies as a curse or just a plain insult, but I’ve always been fond of the following:
“If my dog had your face, I’d shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards.”
The most creative cursing can be attributed to one of my heros, Jason Mewes.
As some of us can attest, due to the whole noonch affair, that I really, really dig this guy.
For those of you uncultured savages who are unaware, this is the dude that portrays Jay of Jay and Silent Bob.
Some of his stuff is pure gold…
“Silent bob is gonna skate by and knock ‘im on his headpiece with a sock full of quarters. I’d do it but I pulled my back out last night humpin’ your mom.”
“Yo willem man, what you need is a fatty-boom-blatty blunt. Then I garauntee you’ll see a sailboat, some sea monsters, some desert islands, and maybe even some of those big titied mermaid bitches doin’ some of that lesbian shit.”
And let’s not forget the other half, Silent Bob.
“Bitch what you don’t know about me I could just about squeeze into the grand fuckin’ canyon.”
Sicilians have this subject licked. Note:
“Tu porca n’amico de Dio!” ('scuse the spelling please)
Translation: “You pig, enemy of God!”
Horse heads help too…
My personal favorite: “I don’t give a flying fornification what you think!” Used quite a bit by myself lately…
I knew a girl named Mandi that used to insult people creatively.
My favorite: “You are nothing more than a carpet munching sniveling cunt fungus.”