I got a new credit card bill in the mail with a $6.00 past due notice. I don’t recall applying for a new credit card so I called them up. It went something like this:
Bad Guy : Discover card. How may I help you?
Me : Ya, I’ve got this bill here. What’s it for? I don’t recall opening this account.
Bad Guy : That’s your new Sam’s Club account. Your old card was only good at Sam’s and Walmart, but now you can shop anywhere with your new Discover card!
Me : Well, that’s nice and all, but I don’t want this card. In fact, I didn’t apply for a new card. How can you open a new account for me without my permission?
Bad Guy : Oh, we sent you something in the mail. If you didn’t want the account, you should have returned the thing in the mail. Maybe you thought it was junk-mail and threw it away.
Me : Yes, that’s likely. But also, that’s not good. I didn’t ask for a new account and don’t want one. I want you to close the account. And what’s the six dollar charge for?
Bad Guy : Uh, I don’t know what the charge is for. I can close the account, but you’ll need to pay the six dollars because it’s past-due.
Me : So let me get this straight- you opened a new account for me without my knowledge or permission AND charged me six bucks for something that you don’t know what it is, and actually want me to like that AND pay it? That’s quite a deal for you. What’s to stop every other company in the world from opening an account for me and charging me six bucks, too?
(Unhappy fellow transfers me to supervisor, where the above is rehashed except I find the balance to pay off the account is now 42.00 and change.)
Me : The other guy said the bill was six dollars. You say it’s forty-two. How did that happen?
Bad Guy2 : Well, we transferred your balance from your old Sam’s card to your new Discover card. You owed Sam’s 6.00 and bought 36.00 worth of gas on your Sam’s card.
Me : OK- see this is a problem. I did not ask for nor authorized a new Discover card. Please return the balances to Sams’ and close this account.
Bad Guy 2 : I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t return the balance. It’s past-due. You can pay off the account and close it, though. Just so you know, we didn’t call for your credit report!
Me : Well, that’s very nice of you, I guess, seeing as how you didn’t have permsission to do that either!