What part of "Close This Account Out Now" don't you understand?

What is it with credit card companies that can’t close out an account appropriately?

Twice in the past month I’ve requested assistance from two credit card companies in closing accounts. I wanted to send them one big check apiece and never get another bill from either of them again. I’ve sent my big checks and I’m still getting bills after I’ve closed the account.

It’s bad enough I have to listen to the “Please, sir. Don’t close your account. We’ll lower your interest rate just like we were completely unwilling to do while you were carrying a balance” schtick.

It’s bad enough that I have to insist that they close the account repeatedly, and listen to the canned rebuttal file bullshit they fling in order to convince me to keep a credit account I don’t need…

It’s bad enough that I have to ask them several times to give me a payoff amount.

But to get past that, actually close the account, and then still get a regular bill a few weeks later with an unexplained charge on it? That’s bullshit.

Further, it’s 10 pounds of bullshit in a 5 pound bag when I send e-mail to the customer service rep who closed the account for me, and the bank’s official response apparently consists of the electronic version of crickets chirping.

WTF? Can these people not compute interest?

I feel your pain. I thought I’d closes a credit card account that had been paid off. Two months later, they sent me checks for the account. I called them up and said, “WTF? I closed this account. Why are you still sending me checks?”

The response? “Your account is closed. It has been moved to a dormant state for a year in case you change your mind and decide you want to charge to the account.”

Dormant does not equal closed, assninja. I want my account closed. I will never knowingly be doing business with your company again. Keeping my account “dormant” so you have an excuse to bombard my mailbox with junk mail and put me at risk for identity theft does not make me want to continue to do business with your company. If I receive another statement, set of checks, or charge card associated with this card, I will not only contact every local and federal agency I can to report your ass for fraud, I will telephone your company and chew out as many people as I can get on the phone before you are longing to never hear from me again. FOAD.

I’ve seen worse than that. I was a member of a university credit union, which was, for a variety of reasons, a total clusterfuck. My account was okay for several years, but then some major changes happened and all hell broke loose. Cash withdrawals routinely failed to be debited from the account. Checks would get charged twice. Random fees would show up. Things looked good for me, as I had several hundred dollars more in the account than my personal ledger showed, but I didn’t trust them and they were obviously hemorrhaging money.

So I asked them to close the account. When they asked why, I told them straight up that their records showed no correspondence to my checkbook balance and that they were failing to register many transactions. (In all honesty, I must admit that I didn’t specifically say that the transactions they were failing to register were withdrawals or that my account balance was too high, but they didn’t bother asking.) They made out a check for the balance on my account, and I went elsewhere. I kept the excess money for about six months to see if they would claim it, then spent it on groceries (starving college student). Never heard back from them about the excess money.

Three months later, I get a call saying that I bounced several checks. Huh? What checks? I ask. They give me several check numbers that were not in the series of checks I had printed - i.e. the check printers had sent me #1000-#1500, and these bounced checks were #4501, 4502, and 4503. I explain this to them, and tell them that this is fraudulent use and not my checks. They insist that I owe them the bounced check fees. I tell them to call the police, it’s not my problem, and besides, the account is closed. There follows a long discussion on the uses of a signature card, which apparently they had never heard of, and I finally convince them to leave me alone.

A year later, they contact me saying that I bounced another check. What check?, I ask. They tell me, I check my records, and it turns out that this was indeed a check I had written more than a year and a half before. I should have noticed its absence, but my account balance had gotten so screwy that apparently I had missed it. They inform me that I owe them for the overdraft fee and for the value of the check, which they had paid. I’m confused at this point, because at the time that I wrote this check, I always had a large enough balance to cover it, so I should only owe the actual value of the check, which I assumed they had neglected to withdraw from my account. “When did this happen?” I ask. “Yesterday” they say. I respond with “You got a check dated over a year and a half ago on an account that was closed - CLOSED, mind you, not zeroed-out and left dormant - over a year ago, and YOU DECIDED TO PAY IT???”

I told them I was done with them, I never wanted to hear from them again. I would not pay the value of the check because it had long since expired. They could request the money back from the bank they had paid it to - I didn’t care. I would not pay the overdraft fee. The account was closed. There were to be no further transactions on it. I told them if I ever heard from them again or if there was ever any attempt made to collect this money from me, I would submit my account statements, checkbook ledger, reciepts, and testimony to the FDIC and put them out of business.

THAT finally got rid of them.

mischievous

Much of the time, a charge place to a “closed” credit card account will still go through. I know this probably shocks most of you. That’s why it’s important to notify places that make automatic charges to your credit card about any changes. They’ll keep on charging your closed account with no trouble, and you’ll keep getting the bills.

Ed

Call me next time. I’ll ask you once why you want to close your account because I have to note it, but then I’ll close it right down because I don’t give a shit.

Heh. Reminds me of Vincent Ferrari, who recorded his horrible experience trying to cancel his AOL account.

Ha! Stupid banks.

Last year just before I moved out on my own, I got my old bank account reopened. Unbeknownst to me, the request was apparently duplicated and two accounts were opened, under two different customer numbers (customer number being different to account number).

As soon as I moved out, changed back to my maiden name and got my new ID to prove it I went to the bank and had them update my details on the accounts I knew about. I started receiving my statements at my new address under my changed name so I thought everything was ok.

At the old address, my ex was receiving statements addressed to me under my old name but he was apparently just throwing them out. I didn’t suspect the bank was still contacting me there.

In April, six months after I opened the account that I didn’t know about, the bank began charging an account-keeping fee despite the fact that I’d never accessed the account. Again, as the statements were going to my ex and he was throwing them away, I didn’t know about this new turn of events either.

Finally, about two months ago he dropped around several pieces of mail that had been sent to his place by mistake and one of them was a statement from my bank. I was confused why they would have reverted to using my old name and address until I opened it and saw it was for an account number I had never seen before. I called the bank and explained the situation to them, and they were very apologetic and said they would reverse the account-keeping fees (which were over $50 by that stage, and which they admitted should never have been charged as I’d never accessed the account or used it in any way) and shut it down, but that I would have to go into my local branch to authorize them to do that.

So I went into my local branch and went through the saga with them, and they took my updated details, changed the address on the account, reversed the fees and promised me it would be closed down.

Several weeks later, I received what I believed was a final statement on the account, showing it closed out at $0.00. They’d updated my address but managed to leave the account in the wrong name. I figured it didn’t matter since the account was closed now.

This week I received another statement on the account showing the account-keeping fee had been charged for another month. It hasn’t been closed down at all so I have to go back into the bank and go through it all again. This had better be the last time I ever have to speak to them about an account I didn’t want in the first place.

Have you checked your credit report?

Ha! i was thinking about AOL when I first saw the OP. AOL pissed me off ten years ago with that bullshit. I had moved from the US to Germany and I kept the AOL account open during the move, but once my stuff got to me in Europe I had made arrangements with another (and less expensive) ISP. So when i caleed AOL to cancel they gave me a big freakin’ song and dance. Now, by my thinking, I don’t actually owe them an explanation of why I’m closing my account. I don’t. i’m the customer. It should be enough that I said I want to close the account. But still, I obliged the AOL guy on the phone and told him “I don’t live in the US right now, and it costs me phone time per minute to be online from the german phone company. I have a cheaper deal with them for internet access. Please close my AOL account”.

Nope, thats not good enough for AOL guy. He wants me to try the AOL global server. Um…no. It actually cost more than I was paying AOL already, since at the time they charged something like 25 cents a minute! I politely told the guy no thanks, just close my account.

So then we go into the tiresome process of this guy ignoring everything i just said and trying to convince me not to close my AOL account, even though I just explained that it would be stupid for me to keep it. It would cost a lot more than it was worth. Plus, I called AOL on my dime, so I was paying for an international call while he yakked on. So, unfortunately I lost my temper. I try not to do that, but I did and just yelled ‘Just close my fuckin’ account, man! If you jerks keep charging me you’d better send the bill to the JAG office, 'cuz I ain’t paying for it.".

I was luckier than most of the other AOhell stories i’ve heard. They closed my account and AOL is on my shit list.

I’m aware of this, which is why I am very careful to avoid automatic charges. The only one I have left is a monthly charge from my hosting company, which actually charges my checking account directly, not a credit card.

The first account I’m having trouble with was one of those “credit card accounts with no credit card” that I opened through an online retailer when I financed my wife’s engagement ring. So there are no other possible charges that could be applied to that account after the payoff, other than interest charges or service charges. I suspect that the bank is going to respond that they miscomputed the interest, or that there was some unanticipated service fee.

Not sure about the other one, although I suspect it’s also remnant interest that the rep forgot about.

It’s such an anti-climax when you throw a pile of money at them to get out of debt and then get nickel and dimed just a few short weeks later.

Yes, but thank you for the thought.

mischievous

I feel your pain. I closed a credit union account earlier this year–well, I tried to. The credit union told me they’d close the account when I paid off what I had due, which I did–and then they cashed my check for $2 less than it was written for, refused to close the account and then tried to charge me interest on the $2. I had to pay a Texas lawyer* $500 to get the account closed and get back $700 that the credit union owed me as part of the loan agreement.

  • Credit unions don’t have to register with the California Department of State even if they do business with customers living in California, as long as they don’t have branches in California, unlike banks.

I had a similar problem when I was trying to close an old credit card account as some of the stories here.

I had a card which had a small balance on it and I was not getting the service I wanted to I transferred the balance to a new card. I left the old card open for several months to make sure nothing was missed (payments, etc) and because I have heard that it is better for you credit report to not close credit cards down immediately.

One complicating factor is that the card had a $20 credit on it which the card company gave me for being a good customer, after I had transferred off the balance.

I called them to close the card down and was assured that it was taken care of. The next month rolls around and here comes another statement showing the same $20 credit.

I called the company again and asked them to close the card and was assured it was taken care of. The next month rolls around and here comes another statement showing the same $20 credit.

You can probably see where this is going.

This went on for about 6 months. I would call and speak with supervisors and managers and take down names and contact numbers of people who said they had closed the account and it never got closed.

Finally I spoke to someone who seemed to actually know what they were talking about and she told me that the $20 credit was keeping the account from being closed but they could not just send me a check as that amount was a ‘bonus’ for being a good customer. She reversed the bonus so the account then had a zero balance and closed it out.

No more statements. Finally.

It’s kind of scary when the people on the other end of the phone don’t even know how their products work, even supervisors. :eek:

I believe it may depend on your location, but checks don’t “expire” as far as I know. They become stale-dated, but they can still be cashed if the issuing bank decides to do so, and, unless you have placed a stop payment on it, you are responsible for the amount. On the other hand, given your checking account had been long closed, your bank should have bounced the check, I would think.

The part I don’t understand is why the closed it at all with outstanding demands against the account.

You’re the type person that I talked to last month when I wanted to cancel and close a credit card account.

I was asked why - I told her that I had received checks in the mail that day. The last time I received checks, I had contacted the issuing bank to let them know that I didn’t want to receive checks in the mail due to security concerns.

She simply said OK and told me to cut up my card.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get to debate the point a little bit. She was all too willing to let me walk away.

I wonder if it is that as credit card customers go, I’m not particularly desirable. I pay off my accounts in full every month. And it was very rare (once or twice a year) that I used that particular card for anything.

I, also, have a story.

About six years ago I moved from my small hometown to the city. Before I moved I closed my accounts with TD Bank. Or thought I did.

A year and a half later and my SO and I are ready to buy a house. We’ve made an offer and are going through the process of getting a mortgage. When the bank pulled my credit report, there was something like $350 overdraft on a TD account in my name and it was a bad debt! This is really, really not a good thing to have on your credit report.

So I called TD in Toronto. They can’t help, and said I should call the actual branch. I ended up talking to the branch manager and getting into an argument with her about it. Apparently they had only closed one of my two accounts, and what was happening to the open one is they’d take out the monthly fee, it’d bounce, they’d charge a bounce fee. Next month, same thing, over and over for 18 months or so. Of course I didn’t have the receipt from when I closed the accounts anymore. I even had her fax me my original contract signed when I opened the accounts and read it closely. They did have a clause saying I was responsible for ensuring it was closed, and the bank was not responsible for the tellers’ mistake in not closing it (essentially). So I was on the hook.

Fine, I said, I’ll just pay the damned overdraft so it’s not a bad debt.

I was told I needed to pay it into a special account (not my own account, since it had been frozen). The manager REALLY emphasized that I needed to make the payment into this special account.

So, from work, I walk to the nearest TD branch to pay. I get to the teller and tell her I need to pay off my overdraft on a closed account, here is the account number I need to put it in to. She pulls up my information. “Oh, sorry, but your account is frozen. To do any transactions here you need to pay it off.” Um, yes, that’s what I’m doing. “Well, you need to pay off your account first before you can deposit into any other TD accounts.” Ooookay, well, I was told I need to put it into this specific account.

I told her to get the manager. Same spiel, to the point that I raised my voice and said the Eff-word a number of times. I was so frustrated. I told her to go call the damn person that told me to do this.

Finally, after waiting for about 20 minutes, she comes out and appologizes and takes my money, and closes the account.

But, of course, even though they promised, they didn’t remove it from my credit history. We had to settle for a higher interest rate because of it, costing us so much more then the stupid $350.

I’m sure it varies from card to card and from company to company, but the company I work for doesn’t actually issue the credit cards. We’re hired by card issuers to do their customer service. It’s not part of our job to perform retention activities. The only exception is that if someone wants to cancel because of an annual fee, we can offer to waive it one time to retain them. If our clients wanted us to do retention I’m sure they’d let us know. On rare occasions when the customer seems to be closing their card based on a misunderstanding (like they’re moving out of state and think they can’t keep the card) I’ll explain the situation but other than that, it’s not my job. I don’t get paid enough to argue with people about it; I get enough calls from people I am paid to argue with.

It sounds like the bank was unaware if the outstanding demand. He writes a check that someone leaves in a drawer for a year before they remember it and take it into the bank.

For those worried about E*Trade potentially going belly up…

I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.

Many years ago I had an E*Trade account. I made good money on it. Unfortunately, for some batshit insane reason, they kept changing my SSN on my account, then locking me out because it was wrong. Their fault, their problem - or so I would think, but it was my constant headache to fix and I lost money at times because I was unable to make my trades.

Fixing the problem was a nightmare. Their website doesn’t tell you how. Or at least, it didn’t at the time. Repeated calls to Customer Service and even requesting to speak to supervisors got nowhere. Their own people didn’t seem to know how to do it.

I jumped through the flaming, barbed wire hoops of correcting my SSN TWICE before saying Fi On Thee and closing my account in disgust.

When I went to withdraw the money, the incorrect SSN was on the account once more, less than a month after I’d corrected it.

That was over four years ago. To this date, I keep getting statements from them saying that I have $0.17 in the account.

Keep the money you stupid fucks. CLOSE THE ACCOUNT. That’s it. Just leave me the fuck alone. I will never do business with you morons again.