My daughter is 13, going into 8th grade. She has a boy [space] friend who is going into 9th grade. Fine, I thought, sure they can hang out. Actually they used to hang out in a group only, so I thought nothing of it. The first time I met him was the first time they were hanging out just the two of them (in public). Turns out he’s like 6 feet tall with a mustache! My daughter looks 11 and him, 17. Of course, that is NOT the case (and it’s definitely not a matter of them lying to me about his age because I know he went to her middle school last year), but it just looks so creepy. She insists they’re just friends, but, you know.
It’s so hard parenting teenagers I can’t really say she’s not allowed to be friends with him because he’s too tall, but damn. I feel like deciding what all she’s allowed to do and not allowed to do is a total crapshoot.
I kind of know the feeling. My son is 14, 6ft and starting to have facial hair (so not quite a mustache). He does, however have a ponytail down to the middle of his back. He could easily pass for much older. He and my best friend’s daughter are very good friends. She is 13, and looks, yeah, around 11. I think people think they are siblings when they see them hanging out.
Of course, if it was my daughter and a boy I didn’t know very well, I might feel differently. Parenting teens is hard, you just never know if you’re making the right decisions or if they will come back to bite you.
I always think my daughter DOES look her age until I see her with like any of her friends, who all look so much older! This young man and most of her other friends would look unremarkable together, but not her. He does seem like a nice kid though, and he has braces which at least makes him look a bit younger. They don’t look like they’d be siblings because my daughter is black/white and he’s Filipino I think. If I were him I’d feel self-conscious to hang out with her. It really does look creepy, although it really isn’t.
As a group though, she and her friends look like a contrived stock photo with all of their diversity in age, style, race, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, everything I’ve noticed more diversity in kids’ friendships even in the last decade. So I can’t be upset about her creepy-looking friendship
This is such a hard age for kids. Everyone is in such a different place physically and emotionally. I’ve seen middle school boys with full mustaches and beards and girls that look 16 along side kids that are the same age and still look like little kids. Some aren’t even close to 5’ tall. it can be disconcerting to meet kids who are either end of the maturity spectrum.
I’d say, watch the two together just like you would any other boy with your daughter and make sure your daugher knows what you consider appropriate behavior, but judge the boy by his actions and age and not his looks. he can’t help it if he hit puberty before his classmates.
Why is it creepy? What’s the boy supposed to do, try and make friends who look as old as he does, even though mentally he’s still young?
One of my daughter’s best friends is a boy who started puberty when he was five. He has always looked several years older than he really is. He’s now 15 and 6’5" (he has his own mark on my living room door so I know his exact height), extremely muscular under some fat and very hairy. He looks about 30. I mean he really looks like 30 year olds I know - that wasn’t hyperbole.
He has had no end of trouble over the years due to acting his age but looking double it, but he’s no more likely to molest my daughter than a 15-year-old who looks 15. In fact, I’d trust him more than I would any other teenage boy because he’s kinda been forced into a position of responsibility.
Also, he can and has broken a mugger’s arm with no effort or even intention, just getting the bloke away from him - a handy person to have around when teenagers want to go out on their own.
I can’t really say she’s not allowed to be friends with him because he’s too tall, but damn. I feel like deciding what all she’s allowed to do and not allowed to do is a total crapshoot.
I’ve noticed more diversity in kids’ friendships even in the last decade. So I can’t be upset about her creepy-looking friendship 
