Since the birth of our twins a liitle over two years ago, my wife and I have had a neighborhood girl come over once or twice a week to help with laundry, cleaning, and other sundry tasks that new parents tend to put on the back burner. She is 15 now, she was 13 when she started working for us. In the years that she has been helping us, she has become well known to many of our friends, who are mostly in the mid-thirties to mid-forties.
Its been a few decades since I’ve spent much time with early teenage girls, but this one is tall, slender, and curvy. Some of my male friends, after a few beers, if prodded, will guardedly admit “she’ll be a real looker in a few years.” A number of my women friends, however, are openly envious of her looks, as in: “I’d kill to have her tits/ass/tummy.”
Both of these reactions seem a little creepy to me. But it is arguably true that men are biologically programmed to find post-pubescent women attractive. We are culturally conditioned to avoid mating with those under the age of 18, but biological instincts are hard to suppress. On the other hand, it seems to me so grossly unrealistic for a 35 year-old woman (many of whom are, in my eyes, much sexier than the teenager) to be unhappy with her own appearance on the basis of a comparison to a 15 year-old.
IMO, as expressed out loud neither reaction is particularly “creepy” at all -(and, the gentlemen had the good taste to add the qualifier “in a few years”) but the issue with the reaction of the older women is more one of “body image” rather than age – so happens that the current culturally established ideal body image is easiest to achieve precisely by late-teen girls
Yeah, I too find both reactions pretty normal. Actually, unless you added all those qualifiers for comedic effect, I’d say you’ve got an unusually timid group of male friends.
The only thing that seems creepy to me is that a fifteen year old girl is hanging out where, mid-thiry year old, men are drinking. At least with out one of the girls parents there.
The part I find creepy is why are 30 something and likely married men drinking and prodding one another on how they think a 15 year old looks? Especially one who spends that much in your home.
The part I find creepy is a group of 30 something and likely married men drinking and prodding one another on how they think a 15 year old looks. Especially one who spends that much time in your home.
Yeah, I’ve gotta go with this. Why is the attractiveness of your fifteen year old babysitter being discussed by a group of grown men?
That said, once it comes up, I don’t find either reaction especially creepy. Leering at her would be creepy. Acknowledging that she’s attractive isn’t. I have a (ridiculously gorgeous, in my opinon!) fifteen year old daughter, and there’s not exactly a fine line between “She’s a pretty girl.” and “Daaaaaaaaamn, I’d like to hit that!”
It’s not that hard to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. I’ve taught my daughter that inappropriate behavior should be met with a raised eyebrow of contempt and an “As the fuck if, ya dirty old man.”
I don’t know where the prodding is coming from, either (Does the OP own any cattle?), but men in their thirties should be able to drink a couple beers while sharing a building with an unattended 15-year-old girl. I would find it odd if she was not safe in that situation.
This may require its own thread, but what is wrong about teenagers being present when adults are drinking alchohol? I live in a tightly-knit community and there are a fair number of parties, both planned and imprompteau, at which the teens and tweens are welcome to hang out. Isn’t it better for them to be under adult supervision than to be off doing who knows what on their own?
As to the OP, the subject of the 15 year-old comes up because she has become a part of our family in a way, and friends ask after her in the same way they ask after the kids. And yes, some of the reservation in the mens admiration was put in for comedic effect. But it still depresses me that women whom I think are beautiful somehow see themselves as less than attractive because they don’t campare favorably to someone they shouldn’t be measuring themselves against to begin with. It’s as if I wanted to know if I was successful in my career and decided that since I make less money than Bill Gates, I must be a failure.
