Just a few weeks ago, I started a new job. Today at my office, I received a phone call from a client I had spoken to many times at my old position. He had tracked me down, wondering if I would be willing to take a meeting with him concerning some questions he still had about the things we had talked about. I explained to him that I didn’t work in the same industry anymore. He should contact my old boss at my old place of employment. He insisted that he wanted to talk to ME. I told him I couldn’t help him anymore.
Immediately after this conversation, I called up my old boss. After a bit of chitchat, I asked if he had passed on my new work number. No, he hadn’t. So, somehow, this guy had tracked me down. Probably using Google. Stupid Google.
Right now, I’m pretty pissed and a little freaked out. Who is this guy? What is he thinking? We didn’t have any sort of personal relationship; I just answered questions for him. Logically, I know this guy is harmless. He probably mistook the friendliness required by my job for a more special connection. But I’m still skeeved out. I’m just looking for calming sentiments and some advice on what to do if this guy calls again.
If your new company is of any size, notify your security staff. The “freaked out” part of your post tells me that you need to tell security that a person you don’t wish to talk to has contacted you at work, which is inappropriate. Security needs to know that this person should not be on the premises. He probably was just trying to be friendly and your telling him you couldn’t help him probably gave him the message, but you need to be safe.
If he calls again, you need to just tell him that you are at work he cannot call you at work. In so many words. Then tell security that he has called.
My sister-in-law used to work for Countrywide Home Loans and she would routinely get people calling her *after * she had helped them with offers for dinner, presents, money etc…etc… She was very good at what she did and eventually became the branch manager of that Countrywide. It should be mentioned that she is very attractive, tall, athletic doesn’t take shit from anyone…
Well, there are certain occasions where clients have to come into the office to finalize paperwork, meet with a lawyer etc…etc…A man came in to the office and when he was through asked to speak to my SIL. He had never met her but he said she has a pretty voice…he said he wanted to thank her. Well, when he saw her she said he was close to star struck, he was staring at her and making her feel very uncomfortable.
Needless to say he left, but a day later he showed up unnannounced in the office with flowers, candy, wine, and some presents for her. She hid in the back room while one of her coworkers took care of him… He continued to call, until one of the company lawyers got on the phone and made it abundantly clear that he was harrassing my SIL and if it continued the authorities would be called.
I would suggest you do this, make sure someone phones him and lets him know never to contact you again, your old boss would be a good choice for that if possible.
I would not say that; a truly creepy person would interpret that as TheMerchandise wants him to call her at home, then. I think the message, if he calls again, needs to be, “You can’t call me AT ALL. I don’t work in that industry, I don’t know you from Adam, and I’m not interested in talking to you again. Don’t call me again.”
Some re-assurance; it sounds to me like the guy just thinks you have a business relationship that he thought could continue. I don’t think he’ll call again. If he does, I suggest telling him the above sentences and alerting your security.
Too many words. Try “I don’t work there any more, please stop calling me” Then hang up. If he calls back I would say “I don’t work there any more, please stop calling me” Then maybe call the police (I, personally, would probably wait until the third time I said it, but if he makes you uncomforable, call them).
Oh, and along the lines of what I said, no matter what you choose to say, say EXACTLY the same thing, word for word each time. Otherwise it might give the impression that he’s winning you over, or that you might want to have a conversation with him etc… If you say exactly the same thing each time, he’ll probably give up since he won’t be making any progress.
Also is there a chance at all that there is an issue he might be having with the old place and maybe he hoped you might still have some pull over there, or something he just might need clarified?
One more edit, I would call your old boss back, have him call this guy and say “Hey, I heard you had some questions, is there something else I can help you with?”
Which would suck if “creepy guy” was head-hunting for a cool, new job for the OP, and didn’t want to get into specifics on a company phone.
If creepy guy is head-hunting the OP has probably already lost the job and CG won’t be calling back. If he does, the OP should just ask up front whether this is a professional, business opportunity type call or not.
The OP said he may have misinterpreted her (?) friendliness at her last job but he could just as easily be impressed by her interpersonal skills and she’s exactly what he’s looking for at his business.
I’m so confused…you people jump straight to “call Security”? I take it you are female, right? You said you’ve talked to this guy many times before…so you know who he is, in a business sense. And he’s probably a bit bummed that the person most able to answer his questions is gone. Maybe your boss didn’t give him the number, but maybe the boss or someone else who answered the phone just mentioned that you’d left to go work for XYZ Corp…not hard for him to get that number and call looking for you. He didn’t ask you out, he asked for a meeting to get answers to business questions. Have someone from your old place call him directly…and don’t panic so! Be alert and vigilant…but don’t jump to the worst possible conclusions.
I had customers from the fabric store where I used to work try to get in touch with me to ask me questions about sewing problems after I left. It was kind of flattering. Don’t assume stalkerish, unless you’re leaving out something he said to raise the hairs so…
Well then he shouldn’t be such a creepy fuck about it. If he was headhunting he should have said so, not given some song and dance about needing to meet with her.
It should be noted that we people didn’t just go straight to ‘call security.’ The OP pointed us in that direction using words and phrases like “freaked out,” “skeeved” and “creepy guy” not to mention the tone of the OP gave us a biased feeling towards this person.
It might be nothing, it’s probably nothing, but the OP seems concerned about it.
Okay, the OP said “creepy” and now you’re elevating him to “creepy fuck.” What’s next? Ax murderer?
I’ve reread the OP and it’s basically, "a professional acquaintance tracked me down and wants to talk to me.
That could mean all kinds of things, including a job offer. You know, not all men are stalkers and women aren’t going to get true equality in the work force if every time a man is impressed with their professional knowledge and interpersonal skills they call the cops and say “this creepy guy misinterpreted my friendliness.”
At my old job I had a guy aggressively head hunt me not only on the work phone, but when I happened to answer the main line! This has lowered my opinion greatly of the usefulness of headhunters. And also given me the faint hope that someday I will be headhunted again and hired for some amazingly well paid job for which I have no qualifications for whatsoever. Yay exit strategy!
He’s definitely not a headhunter. My old position was working as a graduate school counselor and he was trying to get his ex-wife into a program. He would call me once a week to ask a series of incredibly inane questions. I put up with it because I was paid to. I did it with a smile in my voice because I was good at my job.
I called my old boss this afternoon, asking if he pointed this guy in my direction. He said that, well, let’s call him “Scott,” was looking for me specifically and was disappointed to find out that I had left my job. My ex-boss didn’t give him any more information about me and offered to answer any questions Scott may have.
At that point, Scott must have done some detective work to track me down. Google, followed by my company’s directory, I’m supposing. The fact that he went to some lengths to find me when he had my old boss on the phone is what I find creepy. I told him I couldn’t help him. If he calls again, I’ll tell him not to contact me any more. If that doesn’t get through, I’ll contact security. I hope it doesn’t come to that… I don’t want to be “girl with the stalker” during my first month at my new job. That’s not the sort of reputation I want.
I don’t think he’s a crazy or dangerous, but I do think he’s socially clueless to the point where it’s incredibly uncomfortable. But I wish he had unleashed his social cluelessness on someone else today.
Trust your instincts (Go read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.)
If you can, see if you can have your phone go straight to voice-mail. Then, if he calls back, you can delete the call without having to interact with him.
I respectfully disagree. Say “hello, George? Look, why are you calling? I’m at work. Is this professional or not? What. Do. You. Want? Oh, you’re just kinda hoping maybe we could do something sometime? No. Do not call me again.”
“No” should not be an awkward thing for an adult to say.