It's no longer my job to do your job, you mindless yucks

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This isn’t pit-worthy, but still…

Last month, I quit my old job and the first of August began my new position with a new company. I have still maintained a “friendly” contact (occassional “how do you like your new job” “How have you been” emails) with a couple of people from my old employer. They were (and still are) good people.

However, in the past three weeks, I’ve been getting emails from my former supervisor about stuff from my old job. Where is such-and-such? What is the deadline for blah, blah, blah? Do I remember anything about Blank file and the follow up? Seriously, can’t she do her job without emailing me for information? Before I left, I did detailed procedure notes about how to do the stuff I did (because apparently no one in the office has a clue how to do it).

I’ve never had this happen before…I’m about to ask that they present a contract to hire me as a consultant or something.

Really, dude, do your job and let me do my (new) job. I don’t want to be a bitch about it, but figure it out on your own. It’s not my job anymore.

2

Just remember the magic words: “I don’t know”.

3

At the last request (this morning), I did reply: Not sure anymore. I’ve had to make more room in my brain for the stuff I’m learning at THIS job now. Something had to go–apparently this information was one of it.

4

I like the idea about contracting as a consultant. Make sure to quote an astronomical price. And make it a “Per call” basis. Make sure to mention the charge before they ask the question: “You understand that by asking this question, you are agreeing to pay me a $2,000 fee and that the answer will not be transmitted until payment is received?” Maybe that will get them off your back.

5

[QUOTE=ultrafilter]
Just remember the magic words: “I don’t know”.
[/QUOTE]
I recommend this method.

I’ve changed jobs three times since getting out of university, and a little of this kind of thing goes a long way. If people don’t call too often, I don’t mind questions up until about six months out. If they’re calling every other day, suddenly I develop the worst amnesia!

The person who has the last job I left even called me last week wanting to know if I had a copy of a certain report. No, Jane, it should be on the shelf. I recommended two other departments sure to have a copy. “But I thought you’d have kept one!”. Right, Jane, after 8 years I’ve kept a copy of all the petty stuff from that job. Sure.

6

I forgot to mention that one of my duties was transferred to another person but I still get all the calls from realtors about it. One thing about realtors and working for the gub’mint is that if you answer their questions, you will NEVER be rid of them. They begin to call you about everything because it’s easier to hit speed dial than to look up the info on their own. So I have begun to tell them a disturbing truth: That the new person may have a different opinion than I and that the regulations may have been changed as well. So whatever I tell them may no longer be correct and that they could end up making multi-million dollar errors if they keep using me for information. This has mostly ended the problem.

7

I recommend starting with the “I don’t know” method, but if pushed and harassed, move to a very nice and polite “Look (name), I know you need this, but I don’t work there anymore and you’re not paying me anymore, so please don’t call me about this again.”

8

My response would include her boss on a BCC, and would be the following:
“Dear ex-boss, while I understand that when I still worked under you, you relied heavily upon me for such information as this to be able to continue to look good and do your job, I no longer work for your company. I have a position now in which I am recognised for my achievements, and in which I am no longer responsible for making you look good, and I am happy. I do not remember deadlines, details about files or anything else about your job and would appreciate it if you would cease and desist with the emails asking for same. I don’t want to be un-civil, but I am trying to focus on my own career now and cannot do so with the sheer volume of questions about my old job that you email me. Have a great day. Signed Litoris”

Pretty sure the emails would cease very quickly.

9

This happened to me a couple of jobs back. I felt for the poor schnook who was stuck with the job, and answered his questions the first couple of times, but my enthusiasm waned – the company that had bought us essentially fired everyone who had been working there (I left before I could get fired), so I had no reason to feel loyalty to the company or the people.

10

[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad]
I like the idea about contracting as a consultant. Make sure to quote an astronomical price. And make it a “Per call” basis. Make sure to mention the charge before they ask the question: “You understand that by asking this question, you are agreeing to pay me a $2,000 fee and that the answer will not be transmitted until payment is received?” Maybe that will get them off your back.
[/QUOTE]

I did something like this once. I didn’t get to the point of talking about prices, but I wrote a polite email saying something like “I’m very busy with my new position. I’m not unwilling to continue to help you out on a consulting basis, but I might be unable to, given the amount of time I need to devote to my new employer.” Last time I ever heard from them.

11

[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad]
I like the idea about contracting as a consultant. Make sure to quote an astronomical price. And make it a “Per call” basis. Make sure to mention the charge before they ask the question: “You understand that by asking this question, you are agreeing to pay me a $2,000 fee and that the answer will not be transmitted until payment is received?” Maybe that will get them off your back.
[/QUOTE]

I like this, though I would use a lower dollar amount if you think some extra income could be useful. Maybe $100 per phone call under 10 minutes.

But still, odds are they would just stop calling, and probably that’s what you really want.

12

Don’t do the “consultant” gambit; it can have unpleasant unforeseen consequences. BUT…

After cheerfully and helpfully answering the latest question from ex-boss/ex-coworker, add, in the same cheery tone of voice, “Oh, by the way, is Sally still doing accounts receivable?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just making sure I know who to send the invoices to. You’re still paying the same consultant rates as when I was there, right?”

You haven’t said you’re going to bill as a consultant. But the implication – you’ve kept track of the number of times you’ve fielded calls, and will be billing for them, at consultant rates – is enough to deliver the message quite clearly.

13

[QUOTE=Polycarp]
Don’t do the “consultant” gambit; it can have unpleasant unforeseen consequences. BUT…

After cheerfully and helpfully answering the latest question from ex-boss/ex-coworker, add, in the same cheery tone of voice, “Oh, by the way, is Sally still doing accounts receivable?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just making sure I know who to send the invoices to. You’re still paying the same consultant rates as when I was there, right?”

You haven’t said you’re going to bill as a consultant. But the implication – you’ve kept track of the number of times you’ve fielded calls, and will be billing for them, at consultant rates – is enough to deliver the message quite clearly.
[/QUOTE]

Better to just be upfront about it.

“Look, I was happy to answer one or two questions for you, but I simply can no longer do this. I will be happy to consult for you, for obvious reasons it cannot be during work hours at my current job, but I can come in on Thursday nights for the next few weeks to answer any questions you’ve collected during the week - I charge $150 an hour - there will be a one hour minimum each week and I must be out by 9pm.” If the company is large enough to require contracts ask them to send the standard consulting contract over.

Set the price according to your desires - if you’d like to pick up a little extra money, set it low enough that they might take you up on the offer. If you really don’t want the bother, set it high enough that they are unlikely to take you up on the offer, but if they DO, its worth your time.

And if you have no time and no desire to make extra money, just say “I’m sorry, I have a new job now, I need you to respect that.”

14

I was bitter when I told the poor guy who was doing my job on Chirstmas no less: “I’d love to tell you, I really would. You’re a hell of a guy and quite possible the most underpaid and underused guy I know, but Company X told ME not to come in anymore, so I can’t ethically do anything to help them at all. My password was 12345, if it still works. Maybe there’s something left on the drive.”

15

Oh gosh, do not do the consultant thing. 15 years ago I left a job at a small company, overworked and underpaid, of course, where I was the one who knew everything (administratively speaking), how to do the financial statements, how the software worked, where all the bodies were buried etc. We had recently barely survived bankruptcy but each day was still a struggle. When my hubby was transferred to another city, I practically danced into my boss’ office to resign. It was a dream come true for me in that this was the only way I could resign and still qualify for unemployment benefits and it was a dream come true for my boss because he finally got to hire the financial analyst he’d always wanted. goody for him!

Unfortunately he failed to understand that he needed an accountant. On top of fielding at least 2 phone calls a day from the new guy as well as various other staff members and government officials (!), I came back (from Montreal to Toronto) twice to help him sort out month end reconciling and financial statements. On the second visit I discovered that this *analyst * never put the deposit details on deposit slips so we couldn’t figure who had paid, he had set the sub journals to close after printing but the printer jammed ALL the time and the detail information on things like cheque registers was lost. Nothing balanced, nothing made sense and even though they were paying me to be there I finally said “You know what? You’re paying this bozo more than you ever paid me because he’s an analyst and he screwed everything up. Sort this mess out yourselves!”

Tell them they’re on their own and enjoy your new job.

16

Do you guys not have call display on your phones? :slight_smile:

17

When I left my last position for my dream job I felt a few pangs of sorrow for those left behind. Long story short, in 4 1/2 years I’d advanced from an entry level position to the operations manager of the NY region distribution center of a national high-value product delivery company.
In that time, they’d instituted a six Sigma methodology that noone at the distribution center unterstood. Bonuses, rates, local fees every way of making money locally was based off the system. When I knew I was leaving I gave them four weeks (two more than were necessary). They didn’t ID a replacement for me and hand him over for training until the last week of my tenure.
I received many phone calls from my replacement over the next few weeks… he just wasn’t getting it. Then I got a call from my old owner. He’d fired the new ops boss and wanted me to come back. I told him he needed to double my salery. He told me to fuck off.
Called back a week later, told me he would pay what I was asking. I told him the rate was now triple. He lost his mind. Said I was extorting him. I said sorry we couldn’t do business.
Last I heard, two other guys left the sinking boat and he’s now trying to sell his part of the business for about an eighth of what it was worth when I ran the joint.

Yeah. Just desserts are great.

18

Golly, you folks are way, way, W-A-A-A-Y nicer than I am. The guy that replaced me in a job where I got screwed called me for help one time. I was still working for the same corporation, in the same department, in the next building over. I told him to go f*** himself, it was his job now. (I didn’t use the asterisks in real life.) I told him RTFM, then read him the riot act and he never called me again.

19

I actually sang the chorus of this song* to someone that was constantly asking for a non-stop 3 month handholding when he wanted to start his own business. I might as well started the company myself and had him as an employee.

*Accompanying video is SFW and pretty cool to watch with the tune.