Creepy Sauna Troll, Go Away!

The BBQ Pit
1

Yesterday, after an exhausting leg routine (compound sets of leg press/hack squats, leg extension/leg curls, and deadlifts/back extensions), I go to the sauna to heat my muscles and open my pores before taking a shower. the sauna is a wood lined room with an L-shaped bench. I am at one end of the L, with my eyes closed and minding my own business. A guy walks in with street clothes on, which is both weird and against the gym rules. He is 50+, gray-haired, and grossly obese. I ignore him.

He says, “Come here often?” (I have never seen this guy before) I mumble something and go back to ignoring him. He sits back against the wall, looking straight at me, and begins to grab his crotch and give me his best “come-hither” leer.

Is this guy demented? For all he knows, I could be some homophobic straight guy who could cause him some trouble. I did think for a second of saying in my butchest voice, “Get the fuck outta heah, you fuckin’ fag!” But I didn’t. Oddly, I felt sorry for him. So as I walked out, I said, “You’re lucky I’m gay,” and hit the shower.

At Omega, a Dupont Circle gay bar I go to, there’s an old, drunk, fem troll who gets ascloseasthis to younger guys in a pathetic attempt to pick them up. After the inevitable rejection, he gets loud and abusive. I’ve had to threaten the guy to get him to leave me alone. I can’t believe the bar hasn’t banned him yet.

WTF is wrong with these men? Do they think they stand a chance of picking anybody up? If you’re going to be 50+ AND obese AND fem AND drunk, you might want to think about not acting creepily predatory.If I were single, I would reject a good-looking guy who behaved that way, let alone someone who is heavily challenged in looks and personality.

There was an article in last week’s Washington Blade about this unwanted, one-way cruising. Mind, I’m happily coupled with BF, so I’m not looking anyway. But if I were, I’d cruise only if there was mutual interest. Like the article says,

2

You were showing off that lovely hairy chest of yours weren’t you?
See, you should have let me run my fingers through your hair and this never would have happened!

Seriously, I have seen washed out queens at the club pull this kind of stuff and it is truly sad.
When I took one of my friends out on his first “outing” I pointed people out and told him to stay clear of them.
Yes, you guys can just call me Grace. This isn’t the first friend to come out on me.
Anyway, I had him just watch for a while and pretty soon someone went up to the bar and had to stand next to washed up queen who proceeded to hang all over this guy.
When the guy ignored him he started getting loud with him. “not good enough for you?” “You can’t even by a lady a drink?” And so on.
It took my friend a while to go back to the club, but then he ended up working there and learned how to handle guys like that.

Maybe you should have said something about the guy in the sauna? Did he look like he could eventually get agressive?

3

So THAT’S what Divine is up to these days!

4

Actually, Divine is dead, bless her soul. :frowning:

I, sadly, have also been the victim of such rudeness. On the one hand, I take compliments wherever I get them, and take them just as they’re offered - compliments. So I’m never rude… unless given reason to be. For example, one time I was out two-stepping, and an older gentleman approached me and said, “You’re a great dancer, I love watching you dance. Let me buy you a drink.” I figured, sure, what the heck, thanked him, and he got me an orange juice. So later, I’m out on the floor again, get off, and he’s standing there - with an OJ. I thanked him again, took the drink, set it down, and never drank it. Meanwhile, he starts watching and staring. Now, up to this point, I wasn’t rude, but accepting a lousy OJ isn’t newspeak for “I am so hot for you - take me, take me now.” So the third time it happens, I politely decline, saying, “I don’t think my boyfriend would approve.” I then went over to my gorgeous friend Brad and whispered, “Play boyfriends!” and he put his arm around me and kissed me, and then we went out to dance. To the guy’s credit, he got the hint.

This was a pleasant unpleasant experience. I had one guy stick his tongue down my throat. :rolleyes: It is because of this I have a very firm rule of “don’t go where you’re not wanted.” Unless I get a clear indication from my prey that whatever I’m doing is ok by them (talking, kissing, um… <ahem> whatever), then I stop. It’s ok to make your wishes known, it’s another to know when to take no for an answer. (This is also true of many of the Asian boys I date, which is sometimes bad because culturally they sometimes behave very submissively, and I’m waiting for an overt sign that things are ok, hopefully nothing short of, “Yes, I like that.”)

It’s a fine line. When I’m old as dirt I hope I know enough to be open enough to make the gesture, but smart enough to know when it’s unwelcome. Similarly, I hope the little twinkie I hit on is as polite to me as I am to men who aren’t rude.

Esprix

5

Divine is dead? Oh, man, that really makes me sad.

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Gobear, I feel exactly the same way when skinny people flirt with me. Yuck.

HUGS!
Sqrl

7

Well, it’s not the body type per se that turns me off. I’ve made out with guys of all shapes and sizes. A man’s personality is what makes him sexual to me. Yes, I tend to prefer muscular guys, but BF has a teddy-bear frame and he turns me on like walking Viagra.

A guy can be skinny and still be a troll.I’d take a fat stud with a great personality over a thin troll anyday.

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It’s more the leering seedy lecher approach-you gay guys aren’t alone-we women have to deal with it too. Good GOD, there is nothing creepier than some guy coming up to me at Kmart and saying, “Gee, it’s nice out, I’ll bet after work you’ll be out in the sun in your bikini.” Fuck off, loser.
Or the creepy Salvation Army guy outside the grocery store keeps coming in and leering at you and asking you questions-‘I might apply for a job here, so I can work with you…’
Um, keep right on dreaming, needledick.

Smart of you not to drink the juice, 'Sprix. Heaven only knows-it’s rare, but he may have slipped something into it.

9

I assume you work out at Bally’s or some other public accomodation. A buddy of mine (straight) works out at a Bally’s that is known to have a gay clientele. He went to the sauna once to find two guys getting it on in the fog. He reported it to mgmt. and they quickly installed a glass door.

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…and a slot to put quarters into for additional time.

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I wasn’t going to post this, but after reading Road Rash’s post, I don’t think my question is too far out of line.

Here in Minneapolis, Minnesota, we had a recent spat of politico’s getting in trouble for soliciting other men in gym saunas.

After the stories broke, it was talked about on the radio and in casual conversations that sauna’s are the place du jour to hit on other guys for gay sex. It was almost as if this was common knowledge around here.

Really?

Now I’m not a sauna guy, I think sitting in a hot closet sweating your brains out is as fun as, well, sitting in an regular 'ol closet… but with the unfortunate bonus that it’s 200 degrees and humid in there.

Anyrate, my question essentially is this- Are gym sauna’s nowadays a common, or known, place to find and pick up other gay men? If so, when did that come to be?

I go to the gym all the time and consider myself open minded when it comes to gay and lesbian trends (In my opinion, anyway), but I had no idea that was going on only feet away from me in the locker room.

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My favorite sauna guy was the guy who matched the description of your “troll”. He used to come into the sauna without a stich of clothing on, and a newspaper. He would proceed to sit directly opposite of me, spread his legs as far as his tree trunk thighs would allow, and proceed to try talking to me. The first time I made the mistake of looking up. Never again, but it never stopped him from doing this everytime he came in. Gives me the chills just thinking about it.

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It bothers me that these trolls are making other gay guys look bad by acting that way in a straight environment. I go to the gym to work out, not to have some old, fat lech show me his diminuitive winkie.

I have nothing against cruising, as in,
“Hey man, can you give me a spot?”
“Yeah, you got a great chest.
" My name’s Bill.”
“Jim.”
But “I wanna suck your tits” is just nasty and disgusting.

14

Road Rash-so, did the guys get kicked out?

I mean, for godssakes, people, get a ROOM!

15

Amen. While this approach doesn’t scare me any more it still disgusts me. Does anyone really believe that he can pick up a lover like that? Yuck and ick. Chatting up a prospective date and asking for a phone number nicely* is one thing. But this drooling leering attitude is such a turnoff. Guys, if you hear women talk about the way men are such pigs, chances are they’ve just encountered someone like this.

Amen to this too. Even though this was from one gay man to another, it’s just as disgusting when it’s from a man to a woman, unless he knows her VERY well, and it’s the right time and place to say such a thing.

*I’ve had guys do this a few times to me, and sometimes I did give out my number, back when I was dating.

{Edited to put an asterisk in where it should be. Lynn}

[Edited by Lynn Bodoni on 09-07-2001 at 09:34 PM]

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So, you gave out your number when guys said disgusting things to you?? :confused:

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This happened to me about a month ago at the gym I joined. Same set-up as Gobear’s. L-shaped sauna. Ach, the delight of such intense dry heat.

I walk in. There is a man laying on the upper seat. Completely naked. Okay, fine, it’s like 1pm on Monday, the club is really empty, whatever. I have both my bathing suit and my magazine.

I sit down, and commence my reading. Which was difficult. Because he kept coughing and shifting his body, in a truly not very veiled attempt to get me to look at him again. Yes, how wonderful for you that you are both very fit and have an apparently leviathan penis. Even flaccid. Nice. I bet you sleep well at night. I’ve no doubt but that as you become aroused in your sleep it is so huge that it tips you over onto the floor like the levering arm on those robot wars creatures one sees on the t.v.

THAT’S not why I go into that sauna, or to that gym. I dont’ care if you’re going to sauna in the buff, others do. I will take a towel and be relatively private, but to each their own.

It was his behavior that pissed me off, and I left before I was ready to that day. Who knows? Maybe he was testing the waters, hoping I’d be both bi/gay AND interested in a totally anonymous encounter.

It was completely out of line, and disappointed me to no end. What made him think he had the right to put on a dickshow while I was busy sweating and reading and MINDING MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS???

I’ve had breakfast with Gobear. I’d sit and schvitz with him in a heartbeat. At least that way, I’d get to see if his chest is hairy or not. :wink:

Originally posted by Lynn Bodini

Might I just say on behalf of your legions of fans out there how truly sad we all are that we’ve met you AFTER this period in your life?
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Cartooniverse

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I’m sorry, I left out an asterisk!:o I meant to say that I’ve had guys try chatting me up and asking for my number, which I sometimes gave out. If a guy said disgusting things to me, usually I developed a sudden inability to see or hear him.

19

What if it was some young, phsically fit lech showing you his glorious 9 incher! Would you be offended then? (I’m picturing the female equivalent)

Perhaps some pity for a lonely old man flailing in his frustration in being unwanted and unable to excercise the needs of his sexual orientation is warranted. I find the descriptor of washed up queens very disturbing.

Its been years since I’ve received a pass from a gay guy. I’m feeling old.

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Lynn Bodoni said:

Yet both straight and gay guys apparently keep acting this way, and it occurs to me that means there must be enough success to keep going. Scary, isn’t it?