I was at a gay bar last Sunday morning (Sunday Brunch With a Drag Queen = perfect Mother’s Day gift!), and the crowd seemed to be about 3:1 gay to straight. I imagine that if I had been there on Saturday night, things would have been considerably different.
I (a straight) have had my share of fun in gay bars (Oz in New Orleans is a hoot), and as long as I kept ordering drinks no one seemed to mind.
Do gays get annoyed at straights hanging out in gay bars?
Depends on the bar. Depends on the straight people there.
Generally, no. If it’s a bunch of bachelorette women who are looking for some Will & Grace minstrelsy, yes. If the bar is very cruisey (and if so, it will typically be in or around the backroom) and one is there merely to gawk, yes. But, by and large, no. And when there is annoyance, it’s usually directed at the women. Straight men get a lot of leeway if we think we might have a shot at flipping them for a bit.
Totally. As long as they’re respectful and don’t give off an “I’m here to see the monkeys” vibe most gays I know have no problem with them.
What’s kind of funny is that the straight guys I’ve known who seem to be worried about being hit on if they go to a gay bar are usually the ones who have nothing to worry about. Rule of thumb: if you’re not hit on by women every time you go to a straight bar you probably won’t be hit on in a gay bar. In fact gay men are in fact snobbier about appearance in their pick-ups than straight women.
This used to annoy me. A friend would refer to it as “Sex & the City-itis” - basically a drunk, straight girl (or girls) who wants to make it all about themselves, makes a big scene and think every gay guy around them should be fawning over them, and shrieking “You go girl!” at all their obnoxious antics.
Other than that, I didn’t care. If a straight person is just hanging out with gay friends, than so what?
I actually remember getting shade at a lesbian bar once. I went there with a friend (female), and I got one or two angry stares and one comment that I was “in the wrong place.”
I just talked to a friend who was walking into a gay bar in Castro (is that a tautology?) with his girlfriend and was denied service: “No straights…”
There’s a gay strip club in Atlanta called Swinging Richards (if it’s not immediately apparent then think about it). They’re full monty both in the outer room and the VIP rooms, and in the latter touching is allowed. Needless to say they don’t get many straight males- there aren’t many willing to pay a cover and really inflated drink prices to watch naked men- but women are allowed.
What I thought was interesting though is that straight women are only allowed in groups of 4 or less and they have an “Absolutely No Bachelorette Parties” rule. Evidently straight women are rowdier than gay men when it comes to naked strippers.
When I was in college the closest gay nightclub was also the only nightclub in the area where people over 18 but below 21 were permitted on Saturday nights*, so it attracted a lot of straight college students on at least that night.
In Tokyo I visited a “new half” (drag/transgender) cabaret where men were not permitted unless accompanied by a woman. I don’t know what that was all about. Since I’m a woman it wasn’t an issue.
*This had something to do with the type of liquor license, I don’t know the details.
It depends, partially on the particular bar and the behavior of the people. For some examples from around LA;
Now to be fair, there are plenty of gay guys that annoy the crap out of me in these various environments. The loud groups of early 20 somethings attempting to use the pool table as a dance floor, loud shrieking laughing…ugh.
I don’t know what this means exactly, and I don’t know what I am doing posting in this thread, but this sounds like a really good opening line for a modern mystery novel.
Next line would be something like “It was 1999. Lesbians gave a lot of shade in those days.”
I only mind if there is a group of straight women with the Sex in the City-itis who order time intensive drinks and then pay with a credit card that they’re not going to run a tab on. If the bar is busy, run a tab or pay cash. A guy would get bitched at by the bartender for taking up this much time on a busy night.
People tell me this all the time, but while I’ve almost never been hit on by a woman in a bar (though occasionally they return my own, uh… hits), I can hardly set foot in a gay bar without getting the eye at the very least. Always thought it was kind of a waste.
The really sucky part is that gay bars invariably have an awful beer selection, so it doesn’t even do me any good when someone buys me a drink. 
Heh. I’m straight, and a straight male friend and I once hit a local music club to see who was playing, only to find that it was an artist with an almost exclusively lesbian audience. We got jeered at by a few drunk people before taking off. I felt … transgressive.
Odd, why would this be? Men like a good craft beer selection these days. Do gay men not care all that much about craft beers?
The only gay bar I’ve been in (same one twice) happened to have extremely hot guys walking around in Speedos. And it wasn’t a strip bar, it was just a bar, with hot guys in Speedos.
It was amazing. I still remember the feel of those abs. And this was like 15 years ago…
Anyway, do many gay bars have such a feature and do gay guys mind if shy fat girls come in with their gay male friends to touch (and tip!) the extremely hot guys in Speedos?
Because, I want to go back. I just need some new in-town gay friends.
Some do, but I don’t tend to like the sort of place where guys run around in speedos nor do I care for strippers. (I don’t like to look, I’d rather do) I don’t know if other people mind or not, but a lot of strippers in gay clubs tend to be straight. I’ve heard that male strippers in straight clubs are often gay as well.
Couldn’t really help with that question, I’m not a beer drinker. My BF is, but he’s a bud light kinda guy.
Lol!
Well, “shade” basically means having a serious “fuck you” attitude. When a person (of any gender or sexuality or stripe) is “giving you shade”, they don’t directly confront you, but do pretty much every thing they can (intentionally) to make their feeling of hostility towards you apparent. Everything from giving dirty looks to even jostling you “accidentally” (i.e. deliberately.)
Does that explain it?
I have no issues with straights in gay bars. Everyone’s welcome.
Beer selection can range from bad to OK, I don’t recall every going to a gay bar with anything like the selection found in some of the straight watering holes. You general can’t find Coors beers in gay establishments due to a long standing boycott.
Maybe all those ‘fruity’ drinks are just more popular.
Last gay bar I was in was the night the last Kate Bush album was released. I’ve been a fan her entire career, and somewhere along the line she’s become a “gay icon” in America. So we may have to find another one when her next album comes out. Hopefully they won’t mind the presence of an old straight couple.
Only time I’ve ever seen someone physically ejected from a strip club, it was this roaring drunk baby butch who’d been making a scene all evening. The final straw was when she crawled up on stage and stole one of the dancers’ shoes.