*Touch if you will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You’ve got the butterflies all tied up
Don’t make me chase you
Even doves have pride
*
Huh?
Of course there is always Warrant’s Cherry Pie (the entire song is bad, but this line is sub-lyrical)
Swingin’ in there 'cause
She wanted me to feed her
So I mixed up the batter
And she licked the beater
Huh?
The Beatles are always a fair bet for stupid lyrics.
*Do you, dont you want me to love you.
I?m coming down fast but Im miles above you.
Tell me tell me tell me come on tell me the answer.
You may be a lover but you aint no dancer.
*
???
Sitting on a cornflake - waiting for the van to come.
Corporation teeshirt, stupid bloody
Tuesday man you been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long.
???
look at you all see the love there thats sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps.
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps.*
My my at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender (oh, yeah)
And I have met my destiny in quite a sim’lar way.
The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself…
I guess they could argue a lack of knowledge of English history and language.
Certainly not the worst, but “Crash Into Me” is up there, or is it “down there”?
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show your world to me.
So that’s what the young people are calling it nowadays.
“Hey baby, we’ve been dating six months already! Gimme some world, huh?”
The Eurovision contest that gave the world ABBA also gave the world some pretty cheesy stuff.
IMHO the most cheesy was a little number by an Israeli duo called Milk and Honey which actually won.
The name of the duo itself is too much, being obviously related to the view that Israel officially views its territory, despite centuries of killing and a tragic recent history.
The competition itself is highly politicised and talent free, its usual that the best song does not win because ot the small politics being played out.
The only reason this won was that there was an air of optimism over the Camp David agreement, and the prospect of peace in the ME region, which also makes me ask, what the hell has Israel to do with a European song competition anyway ?
Given that this song was carrying so much baggage, surely it had to have something special to justify it ?
Sadly not.
Hallelujah for the world
Hallelujah, everyone will sing
With one single word
The heart fills with much gratitude
And it also pounds: what a wonderful world
The 70s were the heyday of bad lyrics, and y’all are missing some classics:
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It’s the loneliest number since the number one
and also
I… I’m hooked on a feeling
I’m high on believing
That you’re in love with me
And then here’s a gem from the 80s, courtesy of Culture Club:
Because time won’t give me time
And time makes lovers feel
Like they’ve got something real
But you and me we know
They’ve got nothing but time
…Huh?
Was really that hard to find something that rhymes with “time”?
I say we cut Steve Miller some slack. He’s just doing a riff on a traditional blues lyric (and the name of the game in blues was not-very-obscure references to sex). You can also hear a riff on this lyric in the rocked-up version of the blues song “Matchbox” as sung by Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis and The Beatles, among others:
If you don’t want my peaches honey
Please don’t shake my tree
If you don’t want my peaches honey
Please don’t shake my tree
I’ve got news for you baby
I’ll leave you here in misery
A few atrocities committed by Madonna, courtesy your friendly neighbourhood Madonna Fanatic, kfl:
From Love Profusion, off the much-hated American Life album: And I know I can feel bad
when I get in a bad mood
and the world can look so sad
only you make me feel good
More craptacular examples from AL’s Intervention:
I got to save my baby
because he makes me cry
I got to make him happy
I got to teach him how to fly
I want to take him higher
way up, like a bird in the sky
I got to calm him down now
I got to save his life
What the hell is that?!?! 20 years in music and this is what she comes up with? Maybe her pregnancy made her stupid.
from Impressive Instant:
I like to singy singy singy/
Like a bird on a wingy wingy wingy/
I like to rhumba rhumba rhumba/
Dance to a samba samba samba*
Or this gem, from the glaringly awful Like A Virgin album: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo doo ooh la la, come to me, baby/
Shoo-be-doo-be-doo doo, don’t say maybe
It’s almost bad enough to make you wish you were never born.
I’m sure there are more examples but I’m too busy to do anything more than throw some out off the top of my head.
I know everyone hates the “rap” in the title track for American Life, but I refuse to include it because it was meant to be a parody. Only simple-minded people would take it seriously.
This one makes me angry because I like the song and then she sings this line and I wanna smack her. Open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I.
