Cringe Time: The Cheesiest / Worst Lyrical Lines (In Honour of Warburon's List)

[Biggirl]

@Biggirl

This one makes me angry because I like the song and then she sings this line and I wanna smack her.
Open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I.

Forgot to say that it’s Paula Cole I wanna smack for ruining I Don’t Want To Wait.

[Glassy]

@Biggirl

Open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I.

Ooh, I’m so with you on this one. I liked that song at first. Then I figured out what she was saying and I went all :eek: :mad: .

[Bob_Scene]

I don’t know the name of the song, but my favorite stupid line of all time is from Led Zeppelin:

I ain’t joking, woman
I’ve got to ramble

The pompous sincerety it’s delivered with greatly enhances its cheesiness. I think it might have been an old blues song, but if it was I doubt the original singer made that line sound so ridiculous.

[Captain_Amazing]

America’s “A Horse with No Name”

“On the first part of the journey I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things .”

It’s just the “and things” part.

[The_Raven_1]

Howyadoin,

Rush, Alien Shore (from the album Counterparts)

“Building bridges on the ocean floor
Reaching for the alien shore”

…also from the same song…

“For you and me
We hold these truths to be self evident
For you and me
We elect each other President”

You won’t find a bigger Rush fan than I, but dayam! that’s a couple of clunkers.

Building bridges… OK, a reasonable metaphor, but on the ocean floor? Ungh?

And the “self-evident/President” bit is the kind of coupling that needs to have a hose turned on it to break it up!

:smack:

-Rav

[initech]

ELP, “Still, You Turn Me On”

“Every day a little sadder,
A little madder,
Someone get me a ladder.”

[Harborwolf]

I don’t know the name of the song, but there’s a Cure lyric that goes

Come and take my hand
I’m shaking like milk

[betenoir]

@spoke-

I say we cut Steve Miller some slack. He’s just doing a riff on a traditional blues lyric (and the name of the game in blues was not-very-obscure references to sex). You can also hear a riff on this lyric in the rocked-up version of the blues song “Matchbox” as sung by Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis and The Beatles, among others:

If you don’t want my peaches honey
Please don’t shake my tree
If you don’t want my peaches honey
Please don’t shake my tree
I’ve got news for you baby
I’ll leave you here in misery

Actually as far as I can tell he’s directly quoting Otis Redding (including the lovey-dovey). And the peach tree thing goes back at least to Elmore James.

So one assumes the pick up line worked at some point :).

[Fear_Itself]

Y’know, for the Prophet of a Generation, Bob Dylan had more than his share of klinkers:

from Quinn the Eskimo:

I like to do just like the rest, I like my sugar sweet,
But guarding fumes and making haste,
It ain’t my cup of meat.

Cup of meat??? Who eats cupfuls of meat???

[look_ninjas]

Harborwolf - Actually, it’s

Let me take your hand
I’m shaking like milk

And then it gets weirder:

Turning, turning blue
All over the windows and the floors
Fires outside in the sky
Look as perfect as cats

“Let’s Go to Bed.” Weird damn song.

[bobkitty]

The winner is actually Clay Aiken’s stalkerish Invisible. (apologies for any popups.) Beginning at the last line of the second verse, and continuing through the chorus:

*Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I’d make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait…I already am)*

Disturbing AND cheesy.

[Khadaji]

@betenoir

Actually as far as I can tell he’s directly quoting Otis Redding (including the lovey-dovey). And the peach tree thing goes back at least to Elmore James.

So one assumes the pick up line worked at some point :).

Oh well. Maybe it is just my delivery.