As those of you who have attended a Passover seder will know, just before the part where we tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt, there is a brief bit where we reaffirm the religious obligation to do so. The traditional text, which I don’t have in front of me, goes something like “Even if all of us at this table were wise and learned and completely familiar with all the details, we would still be obligated to tell the story of the departure from Mitzrayim” (Hebrew for “Egypt”).
Several years ago for our community seder, I wrote the following parody of that text to lighten the mood a bit before proceeding to the serious business, poking some fun at the liberal hippy-dippy demographic of our congregation:
Therefore, even if we already know the story in all its details, yes, even if we are teenagers and therefore know everything, we are still obligated to tell the story of the departure from Mitzrayim.
Even if we are knowledgable Jewish scholars who read the Babylonian Talmud in the original Aramaic on the bus each morning, we are still obligated to tell the story of the departure from Mitzrayim.
Even if we are highly spiritually evolved people who quit our jobs when they interfered with our yoga practice and who require medical marijuana for the glaucoma on our third eye…we are still obligated to tell the story of the departure from Mitzrayim.
Even if we are so eco-kosher that we eat only locally grown organic produce, avoiding root vegetables for fear that worms may have been traumatized when they were harvested…we are still obligated to tell the story of the departure from Mitzrayim.
Even if we are totally committed social activists who bicycle to three demonstrations a day and always carry an extra lock in case we see something we want to chain ourselves to until the injustice ceases…we are still obligated to tell the story of the departure from Mitzrayim.
It was well received and has become an expected part of the seder, but it has been several years now and I have been meaning for the last few years to get around to writing some new material. This year I have actually made time to do so and…nada. Can’t think of anything that seems to me anywhere near as funny as the above. Any suggestions from the Teeming Millions would be welcome!