[Moderator Note]i realize that the OP practically begged for it, but let’s drop the name-calling in IMHO. Y’all are articulate enough to make your points without resorting to it.[/Moderator Note]
Not the same thing as socks, but my grandmother did get each of us kids slippers one year. I got a pair of cat slippers (like bunny slippers, only with cats) – they were white with little turquoise ribbons.
And up until I was about six, my Aunt Katie would give everyone a present (she didn’t get married until I was about eight – when I turned four the custom was a present for each kid from our grandparents, and then only our god parents would get each of us a gift, rather than one from everyone). The one year we all got a book of gift certificates for McDonalds.
I also used to get lots of Christmas tree ornaments. My cousins and I would do an ornament exchange every year. We’d each get a name, and you’d buy an ornament for that person. We continued doing that up until I was in my twenties.
A gift means no strings attached. By attaching money for college it’s not a real gift, it’s more of an “investment” in the future of the child.
The same way a wedding ring isn’t a gift but a symbol of the marriage.
A gift is given for one to use as the recipient sees fit
Truly, how would you like it if the kids, gave you five bucks and said the rest is for a down payment toward your grave.
:rolleyes:
An investment whose dividends will be collected by the child, not the investor.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Do German children also receive a weekly chocolate ration and a tiny golden trophy upon learning to tie their shoes?
I’ve been looking for “the other side” of this argument (I fall into the “OP is being dickish” camp) and I can’t find it.
There’s a lot of entitlement around the OP’s premise. I come from a large extended family, and no one is particularly rich. So phone calls and cards were perfectly acceptable gifts. I was taught this by my parents at a young age. I still to this day think that feeling entitled to gifts is hugely problematic. Maybe it’s okay if a kid expects a present from Mom and Dad, but nobody else.
I think the grandparents were incredibly generous. A lot would have given the generous gift of the college fund and nothing else (which is fine, but maybe a little hard for a kid to understand). By sending a “tangible” gift, they’re really providing the best of both worlds.
And I honestly don’t know where this idea that your parents are supposed to pay for your college comes from. Well, I do, I guess, but I love my parents and are very close to them - but I was the first to go to college from my family, and did it with scholarships. My mom, apparently, felt very guilty that they weren’t prepared financially to help with college, but I told her that I preferred that I paid for college on my own, and nobody ever told me to change my major, or drop that activity because they were holding the pursestrings. I went to college in my hometown and used my folks’ washing machine and refrigerator throughout college, which is the level of support I needed and appreciated.
I only wish my relatives would have given my son fewer actual presents and put some of that money into his college fund. One Christmas he receive so many presents he got bored opening them and had a melt down. A token from each and cash to his college fund would have been perfect.
In cases of unfair favouritism like this, I think the parents should take the giver aside and explain to them why playing favourites is a bad thing, and that it’s better to give both children an equally cheap, but cool, gift (or an equally boring practical gift), than this.
If the giver don’t understand or don’t want to change, the parents have a teaching opportunity about being polite, and that some people are prejudiced and why that’s bad, but that they (the parents) will love and treat the children both equally.
I do not think it’s a good idea for the parents to lie and “make up” the gifts.
In this special case, giving a girl child underwear is seriously creepy and sending all kind of bad vibes and alarm signs to me.
Of course not. Chocolate is bad for health and can produce obesity. And tying shoes is not worth mentioning.
However, under German law parents do have an obligation to provide a child with an “Berufsausbildung” - a job education. This can mean sending the child to lower High School until 9th grade and then letting them learn a “trade” (one of the classified Lehrberufe) for 3 years - the cheap option; or it can mean letting them go to advanced High Schooluntil 13th grade and then study at University until a degree (in extreme cases, age 27) - the expensive option.
There are regularly court cases to decide what counts as adequate job education: can the child switch tracks at university; can the child learn a trade first and then study at Uni; can the child learn two trades; if the child was lazy during High School, but then wants to go to evening school to get the Abitur and then Uni later, is that covered? And the courts have to decide whether the parents have to pay it for the child (including room and food), or whether the child is on their own.
My grandparents would put $5 in bank accounts they had set up when we were wee ones.
IMHO, you’re being rather ungrateful. What does what you experienced as a kid have to do with your kids today?
Same here. Every year, various relatives ask my mom what my kids might like for Christmas or their birthday. Every year, my mom suggests contributions to their college funds. Yet we still end up with lots of toys and stuffed animals that never get played with and copies of books we already have. I would be thrilled if my kids received a small, thoughtful gift ($15 is more than enough) in addition to a generous contribution to their college fund(s).