Dear cryin ass Republicans who hold the power in this country,
Sorry you can’t get shit done. Boo hoo. When you blame Democrats for your personal failings, I hope you will remember this, maybe chant it to yourselves as a mantra:
Eat Shit.
TBH, I am at a loss to figure out how they can’t get that sort of basic thing done when they do control the senate, house and white house.
Because of the supreme and unassailable*** Power of Schumer***!!1!!!
(Apparently.)
I did have a wee giggle earlier… was watching coverage of the Women’s March in New York as they had Trump’s tweet up that exhorted women to come out and “celebrate” his first year in office, just as a woman walked by with a large sign that unmistakably read, “Fuck Trump!”
It’s a toss-up if this was my favorite sign or the one another woman held that read, “Where to start?”
(Had hoped to attend my own local march with friends but am instead icing a knee that got bingled during a hike earlier this week. Timing of that sucked.)
Fucking Republicans.
They control everything and still can’t get shit done (which is actually fortunate).
The Dems introduced some sort of uhhhh “thing” to let the military keep getting paid, and “Support Da Troops” McConnell killed it.
The talking heads are blaming the shut down on Schumer instead of the Repubs.
We have Trump still trying to hold everyone hostage so he can fuck the Dreamers and DACA and get his fucking wall and kill the Russia investigation.
We have the Freedom Caucus, for whom no act is ever extreme enough to placate them.
We have the ones that want to kill Social Security and Medicare and Obamacare - to pay for the rich people tax breaks.
AND that still doesn’t touch Trump’s and his Russian friends efforts to destroy this country.
It’s Treason.
Wait just a minute. Are Republicans asking Americans to pay for that? But, but Trump said…and American idiots everywhere believed that… Mexico! Mexico!
It was the single most important dumb thing he campaigned on. The one dumb fucking thing that was common to all of his stops.
“Wall. Mexico. 10 feet higher. Mexico pays for it. Believe me. Haha Republicans sure are stupid. (Hey- that wasn’t on the script! I told you fuckers I had a hard time reading!)”
[2016: ‘We’re gonna build a wall and Mexico is gonna pay for it!’
2017: ‘If the American taxpayer doesn’t pay for my wall, I’m gonna shut down the government!’](https://images7.memedroid.com/images/UPLOADED964/599f92b393469.jpeg)
shudder Not if you paid me.
Sen. Cecil Turtle McConnell sez they can’t do anything until trump tells them exactly what he wants. The one thing El Cheeto Grande does well is never letting anyone know what he wants, even on the rare occasions when he himself can remember for thirty seconds.
They couldn’t get healthcare done, and had to settle for a sulky half-hearted effort to fuck things up further. And the reason is somewhat heartening in a way: reality over rhetoric. For all that they all professed to hate Obama and the ACA, turns out their working class base do want healthcare. Their base may be fucking stupid, and have been suckered into voting against their interests for decades; but their stupidity is finite. Talking about “fuck Obama, abolish the ACA” got Republicans elected; but they realized that actually doing would get them kicked out of office by the same people who voted them in.
Some guy said that if both parties can’t work together and the government shuts down that it is all the president’s fault. Oh, yeah that was Trump talking about Obama.
Nah, it’s The Obama. The man has been wiretapping Donald, transporting millions of illegals across the boarder to vote for Hillary, and fucking with AHCA, all while giving the world the appearance that he’s windsurfing in the British Virgin Islands, chilling with Richard Branson, and having casual conversations with David Letterman and Prince Harry. The Dude makes conspiracy seem easy, and he looks dope doing it. I understand they’re going to do another remake of the Ocean’s franchise after the chick-lit version bombs, and it’s just going to be called Obama’s One; in the opening scene, he explains to George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon that while he appreciates their enthusiasm for the project, they’re just going to be in his way while he singlehandedly heists the biggest load of highly enriched uranium Russia has directly from the storage vault under the Kremlin just to spite Vladimir Putin. After that, Marvel has him slated to do a retro Nick Fury movie, and then he’s going to join together the Bond, Bourne, and Mission Impossible franchises in being the central linking character who trained everybody, and while he’s at it he’ll fold in Rocky and do a cameo in the next Expendables just to secure his place in action movie history, because fuck it, he’s Barack Motherfuckin’ Obama. The man is an unstoppable monster, and it’s no wonder Alex Jones is so bloated and angry about it.
As for the Republicans, they’ve spent so much effort on becoming the part of obstructionism they no longer know how to actually do anything productive. You can thank their Master of Morals, Mr. Family Values and Compassionate Conservative Numero Uno Newt Gingrich and his Contract On America for this. Before Squishface McSquidfucker grabbed the wheel and started drivng the truck straight downhill, the Republcans were a most center-right party that made handwavy motions about “fiscal responsibility”, e.g. making government smaller and less effective and pandered to the self-proclaimed “Moral Majority” but largely devolving into basic pragmatism on most topics that affected voters. Since Gingrich (the first Speaker of the House to be censured for ethics violations and the man who served his first wife divorce papers in the hospital as she recovered from cancer surgery) the GOP has been a hypocritical leviathan steered by corporate interests and power brokers into manufacturing an excuse for the Second Gulf War, operating an extralegal torture prison camp in Guantanamo Bay, and promoting the notion that their higher duty was “making sure President Obama’s a one-term president.” They’ve had eight years to formulate an agenda and draft legislation for their notion of what health care and immigration reform should look like, and yet they were literally handwriting a bill behind closed doors on the eve of their attempt on a vote. That their agenda and their party structure was hijacked by a demogogue with even fewer morals or good sense would be laughable if it didn’t mean we now have a human circus peanut as leader whose idea of a good day is offending the head of state of some strategic ally followed by cheating at golf at one of his tacky clubs, then finishing off with a giant piece of beautiful chocolate cake and Twittering out whatever passing thought goes through his mind while taking a 3 AM dump to evacuate his bowels of the meatloaf and Starburst (only cherry and strawberry) residue.
I had a point when I began all of this but it has since become mired in moral ambiguity like an idealistic Robert Redford in an election movie.
Stranger
So, trump is golfing, right?
Because it would require them to govern.
Which would require them to listen to the ideas of others, as opposed to simply steamrollering them.
Which would require them to admit that other people have ideas, and aren’t either blocks of matter with noise-holes who will do things if you make the right noises at them, or terroristic militants who want to destroy all that is good and right in the world.
The Republicans have drawn in too many ideologue morons, the Useful Idiots who actually believe the propaganda the Kochs and Reagans sold them so they’d have people vote in favor of massive tax cuts, and outright sociopaths who have no ideology beyond personal advancement. They’re incapable of arguing persuasively, as in being persuasive to people who don’t already agree with them, because, for the ideologues, We Don’t Negotiate With Terrorists is the limit of their thinking when dealing with people outside their circle, and, for the sociopaths, other people don’t matter and if you can’t stop them from making noise by making pleasant happytalk you can have your security escort them off the property.
The sociopaths don’t really care, because they’re too mentally damaged to understand consequences until those consequences actually happen to them. It’s all there in the DSM.
The ideologues want a hill to die on. Well, guess what: Dying is easy. Governing is difficult.
And it’s still Obama’s fault. Because, birth certificiate, emails, illegal voters, immigrants, cycle and repeat.
Stranger
If the great Orange doesn’t quit talking about that stupid wall, I am gonna lose it. It’s never gonna happen. No body will ever agree to finance the thing. Mexico included.
It is single most ignorant idea he has.
It is scary to think, but I believe that stupid wall fantasy got him where he is today. Nevermind tax policy or geo-political strategy. A fucking imaginary, impossible wall appealed to the American moron to put this doofus in the Oval office. Democrats are surely responsible, somehow.
Obama stole The Wall. Trump built it the day of his inauguration and paid a bunch of Chinese workers rice and fishheads to assemble it overnight. Mexico paid for it (even though they say they didn’t) and it stopped millions of illegals from running over in droves. Then Obama just took it. He folded it up and put it in his pocket, and just walked away with it.
Like a boss.
Stranger
Priceless!
<Wipes away tears. Am I laughing or crying? Both.>
C’mon, now. You knew they were going to shut down that Mueller investigation one way or another…