CSI - a new level of grossness

Did anyone catch the episode on 10/2? They found a body in a bathtub–all bloated up and extremely gross! I had to turn away several times when they showed him.

They did a great makeup job.

It’s raining manjuice…

Yeah, the manjuice comment was the grossest part of the B-plot. I wasn’t too disturbed by the floater but I have a pretty good tolerance for nasty special effects and makeup. The thought of scooping all that human soup out of the tub is pretty disgusting, though.

On a side note, I was disappointed by the resolution of the A-plot with the serial killer couple. But Greg got a moment to shine and win some more of Grissom’s approval.

It reminded me of the movie Seven, and I thought that’s where the plot was turning to when they found that large ‘7’ on his body (which turned out to be from him painting it on his chest).

Oh yeah, that was quite weird, wasn’t it?

It was nasty. It reminded me of a pic I saw once of a guy who had died in his tub and sat there for quite a while before he was found. He’d had some kind of heater hooked up to keep the water hot, so not only was he rotting, he was cooking. Hork. The friend who showed me that vileness was on my shitlist for a month.

belladonna, I bet I saw that exact same photo you described. By far one of the nastiest things I’ve ever seen in my life. It took me months to get that image out of my head and last night’s CSI did a damn good job of recreating it.

I also happened to be eating at the time too, which didn’t help matters much.


Just don’t think of that guy’s brain the next time you eat lime jello!! :smiley:

I was eating a bunless hamburger with catchup. I almost threw up like 5 times.

It was really, really gross. I didn’t eat even half of my hamburger!

Ummm, what sort of masochist eats during CSI? :eek:

Oh yeah, I do. Living with a medical person seems to have hardened me. She is, after all, the same woman who, while helping with abdominal surgery, remarked to herself, “I wonder if they are serving lasagna in the cafeteria?”

I’ve learned to get my eat on before 8pm CT, and sometimes before then if I know there’s a gross food challenge on Survivor.

ARGH! I forgot to take out the baby video and put in the ##)##(* tape in the VCR! :mad: :smack:

Can you please, pretty please, pleaaaaase with sugar on top, post a few lines (with the appropriste spoiler guards) to tell me what happened? Who dunnit? How’d they find them?

Thanks in advance.

[SPOILER]So you know the serial killer couple was shot to death in their swanky home, right? Gris and Brass clear the house, and Brass interviews the two cops assigned to watch them. They’re all arrogant and cocky, especially when they have to give up their service and backup pieces to Brass for testing. They claim they were watching the house until they received a 911 call regarding an officer down in the area. They screeched off and left the house unguarded. A boy in one of the neighboring houses told Brass he saw a uniformed officer approach the house and enter, but heard nothing nor did he see the officer leave. Gris thinks it’s a dirty vigilante cop, while Brass defends the integrity of his men.

During a search of the home Nicky finds shards of plastic on the carpet (the coroner finds similar shards in the male killer’s wound), and when Gris finds both the cell phone that originated the 911 call and a sample of soda on the ground they conclude a “poor man’s silencer” was used–shooting through a soda bottle muffles the sound for a few shots. Warrick also finds a shoe print on some newspapers near the back door. Blah blah blah they test things in the lab.

Gris sends Greg to find the soda bottle; Greg instead finds a cop uniform in a sewer drain. They find DNA on the collar and Brass brings in a cop suspect. He’s arrogant and has a suspicious jacket but his DNA is not a match for that on the uniform. He and Gris have a little encounter in the parking lot where the cop sort of threatens and insults him. Warrick flirts heavily with the 911 dispatcher (promising her drinks at his place) if she can get him a dub of the Bad Cop’s voice; when Archie runs the two 911 calls they don’t match.

The shoe print matches the seal of the state of Nevada or something like that, leading Gris and Brass to the office of the judge who denied them the warrant in the first part. They examine the soles of the judge, his clerk or something, and the bailiff. THe clerk guy’s soles match, due to him stomping out his cigarettes on the seal outside the courthouse. He used to be a cop and was just frustrated with the judge’s lack of dedication to stopping criminals, and decided to take the law into his own hands by making the false 911 call and shooting the suspects.[/SPOILER]

How long has Grisson been sporting the Grizzly Adams look… because well… he doesn’t have a good “beard face” and it really, reallly doesn’t work for him .

[One of my rants from an earlier CSI thread:]

So I’m watching CSI and it’s got that typical Vegas night-time opening, y’know, stock footage of the strip etc. Then you see that yellow crime scene tape and it’s time to meet this week’s victim. You know it’s a bad one because they never show the dead guy’s face, just his sprawled lifeless body from the chest down, plus the first CSI regular to walk into the scene winces for half a second when he/she see the corpse and says something witty like “Wow, party time.” You know, something witty like that.

So the bald pudgy cop says, in his bald pudgy coplike way (pioneered by Detective Sipowicz) “Looks like he ate his gun.”
“Uh-huh,” replies the CSI character.
The Grissom shows up and some cop hands him a plastic bag with a revolver in it. “It was in his right hand,” says the cop. Grissom pops open the bag, takes a sniff and says “Recently fired, too.” Then Grissom checks the cylinder. “Hmm, all the chambers are empty.”
The other CSI character (who it is isn’t important, since at this point any of them could be playing Grissom’s straight man) says “Maybe a game of Russian Roulette?”
“Could be,” says Gris, as the music starts to rise. “Even with the odds five to one in your favor, in Vegas the house always wins.”

Theme music follows loudly while the wittiness of Gris’s comment sinks in. Of course, a suicide could be wrapped up in about five minutes, so we know that ain’t all she wrote.

Anyoo, cut to the gimp coroner. “Preliminary exam said death was due to self-inflicted gunshot wound upward in the mouth. It looks like the bullet went through the hard palatte (slow-mo effects shot of bullet crunching through red flesh, complete with lovely squishy sound effects) traumatized the frontal lobe (further shot of bullet pulpling brain matter, squishing sound continues) bounced off the inside of the skull (boinging sound effect) and came to rest behind the left eye, partly evacuating it.”
“It pushed his eye out,” observes Gris, just in case anyone in the audience doesn’t know what “evacuated” means, or has not yet been totally grossed out by the re-creation.
“Yup,” replies the doc. The bullet’s gone to forensics."

Cut to ballistics. Pretty-boy CSI (white or black, does it matter?) is asking questions of the ballistic tech; “Funny, that handgun at the scene was a .357. The slug should have gone right through the top of the vic’s head all the way to Mars.”
“Uh-huh,” replies ballistics tech, obviously an extra being paid by the word. He checsk the slug in a microscope. “.357? Nah, this came from a .380 Tenfolio Titan.”
“You sure?”

At this point, the mystery stuff begins, and we take second commercial.

“A .380? Are you sure?” asks Gris.
“Yup,” replies other CSI character. “I’ve sent the slug off for detailed analysis.”
At that moment, the geeky tech guy walks in as if on cue. “I ran the DNA on the slug you sent me 20 minutes ago (thus revealing the miraculous pace of TV forensics). There’s two patterns on it. And one of those patterns has traces of Carpomi cells.”
“You mean lung tissue?” asks Gris, in case the audience doesn’t know what Carpomi cells are.
“Hmmm, the vic in the morgue didn’t have any lung trauma. I’d better check with the doc.”

“Hey, Doc,” says Gris. “We’ve got a slug that didn’t come from the victim’s gun with someone else’s lung tissue.”
“It gets stranger, Gris,” replies the Doc (thus entering Phase 3 of the CSI plot-twist sequence, right on schedule). “I was so busy looking at the top of the vic’s mouth, I didn’t check his jaw. See these enamel fragments?”
“A broken tooth?” asks Gris (because some audience members might not know what “enamel” is).
"Yep. It looks like the bullet came downward first, shattered the third molar (lovley slo-mo shot of bullet destroying a permanent tooth) then ricocheted upward, through the hard palatte, through the brain, off the skull and down behind the left eyeball (repeat of earlier disgusting sequence, sound effects intact.)
“Hmmm,” says Gris and we go to commercial.

After commercial, two CSI techs (which ones? does it matter?) are setting up their laser-thingies at the crime scene, checking angles. They also have their supercomputer laptop with them which can effortlessly chart bullet trajectories and whatnot. All by itself, this piece of equipment would likely bankrupt the state of Nevada, but I digress. After some hemming and hawing and flirting (assuming the CSI members are of diferent genders) they decide the bullet probably came from that hill half a mile away. The bald pudgy cop says kids used to go up there and use it as an unauthorized shooting range, knocking tin cans of fenceposts and crap like that. The CSI guys decided to take a hike.

At this point, I’d like to reveal that if CSI has taught me anything, it’s never to live half a mile from anything, because sooner or later a stray bullet is going to get you. So I’ve decided to either live in the desert, miles from anything, or in a really tiny apartment, where everything is within 30 feet. But I digress.

Up on the hill they find another body, this one with a hole through the lung, and thus we are treated to a beautiful shot of a bullet punching through a human lung, which creates a lovely red aerosol spray. At this point it hits me: this is really just a gross version of The Twelve Days of Christmas with an extra trauma added at each verse.

Anyhoo, somebody shot this guy and the slug kept going and took out unfortunate vic #1. There are a bunch of shell casings around, and some of them fit vic #1’s gun, so maybe he was here earlier (CSI loves goofy meaningless coincidences, I have observed). There are also some Tenfolio .380 shells. At this point the luminol comes out (every CSI episode needs a luminol scene, and there has to be some extra on hand who can have the purpose of the luminol explained to him, just in case the audience… well, you get the point). Well, by gum, there’s lots of blood around, and not just from vic #2. There’s a splotch with what looks like a piece of thumbnail about ten feet from the body. Hmmm…

Commercial time.

Okay, time to start wrapping this fiasco up, so they run prints off the Tenfolio shell casings and trace it to some teenage sleazebag. Gris asks "Do you go to movie a lot, son? Because if you watch too many movies, you might think it’s cool to hold your gun sideways. Well, in addition to lousing up your aim, there’s also a chance, with the Tenfolio, that the slide will chop off the end of your thumb (lovely slo-mo effect of an automatic slide hacking off the end of a human thumb, as the cloud of gunpowder residue slowly spreads, complete with slowed down gunshot sound effect). “Can I see your hands?” asks Gris.

Now, if it was me, I’d tell Gris that he could see my hands when I could see his warrant, but we’ve already blown 49 minutes on this, so let’s not let legalities stop us now. The punk lifts his hands and has a big-ass bandaid on his right thumb.

“So,” says Gris. “You shot vic#2 while holding your gun sideways…” and thus begins the entire chain of events. Sing it with me now:

Chopped off his thumb,
Punched through the lung,
Smaaaashed off his toooooth.
Shot through the palate,
Pulverized his brain,
Bounced off his skull,
And pushed out his left eyebaaaalllll…

I’d stop watching this dopey show, but that Marg is so damn hot.

[rant concludes.]

OK, here’s the main plot. (I’ll skip the B plot for now).

[spoiler]Brass gets on Grissom for not carrying a gun, chases him out then searches the place. Turns out that Brass had two undercover cops watching the place. Grissom can’t figure out how the killer got in with the cops watching and assumes they are somehow involved. He demands they turn over their weapons, etc., to their annoyance.

The cops say they got a report of an officer down and went to assist but couldn’t find anything. Grissom finds out the call came from 911 originally, gets the number it came from and calls it. He hears a cell phone ring and finds it in some bushes nearby. There is also some liquid there and he gets a sample.

The other CSIs show up and search the house. They find towels and sheets from the hotels (confirming that the dead couple were the killers from the previous episode), some strange plastic fragments on the floor and a footprint on the newspaper near the door. A kid from across the street (who had figured out who the undercover cops were) says he saw them drive off and then a uniformed police officer went to the door of the victim’s house and went in.

Grissom continues to think a cop is involved (since whoever did it knew where the victims were) which causes conflict with Brass since he can’t find any evidence that they were.

They find out that the cell phone Grissom discoverd belonged to a public defender who had lost it some time previously. They also determine that the liquid he found was some kind of cola. Grissom realizes that the plastic fragments are from a soda bottle and it was used as a silencer on a gun. He sends Greg out to look for the bottle.

Greg doesn’t find the bottle but does find a police officers shirt, with badge attached, in a storm drain. Warrick listens to the 911 call (after the 911 operator cons him into inviting her to his place for drinks) and they learn that the caller used police codes.

Brass points out that the shirt is an older design that isn’t used anymore but that the badge is real. He traces it to another officer who claims he lost it. Grissom basically accuses him of the killing but the officer denies it.

Later, Grissom is leaving and the officer stops him. He basically threatens Grissom and tells him that the CSIs always have regular cops with them but someday one of those cops may not be there when he needs them and that “accidents” can happen.

They compare DNA from the shirt with a DNA sample from the cop in question and they do not match. Grissom apologizes to Brass for “getting ahead of the evidence” and Brass sort of shrugs the incident off. They discuss the case and decide whoever did it must be connected to the police in some way.

Nick finally gets the evidence from the footprint analized and finds a pattern on the bottom of the shoe. This turns out to match up with the state seal of Nevada on the floor of the courthouse.

Grissom and Brass confront the judge who they tried to get the warrant from last episode, along with his clerk and baliff. The judge is angry but they point out that whoever did it had to know where the victims lived and only these three knew. They check their shoes and find out that the clerk has the same marking on the bottom of his.

The clerk basically admits the crime. He was once a police officer who was discharged after shooting an innocent bystander. He says he was tired of criminals getting off because “12 people too dumb to get out of jury duty” let them go. So, he took matters into his own hands.

Grissom sees the first cop in the hallway and it is obvious he still carries a grudge against Grissom. The episode ends with Grissom practicing at the firing range; apparently he is a fairly good shot.[/spoiler]

Ah… Thanks Judith, that was just what I needed… and quick too… same feeling of releif as when you main squeeze scratches that itch in your back, first beer after the ballgame in a hot summer afternoon… :slight_smile:

Salut Bryan, (ex-Montrealer here),

It must be a measure of my Science Geekiness Quotient ™ that I actually enjoyed reading your post as a straight story, even though it was satire and using made-up terminology. I guess it’s also because I’ve also always had a facination with anything showing a long cause and effect chain, like a Rube-Goldberg machine, and things medical, and, well there’s so many darn interesting things out there…

BTW, did you know that those shots “inside the human body” that they show are pretty anatomically accurate? Mrs. Trupa’s a Doc (Radiation Oncologist), and she says it looks just like it did whe she was in the OR and they were working on the areas of the body in question.

And thank you too tanstaafl that was also very kind, and intereting to get a second perspective that complements Judith’s.

Yeah, but it’s usually in scenes that douse you like a cold shower. Like last night:

Hot: Marg in tanktop, sweaty, leaning over…(cold)…scooping up the remains of Mr. Soup Sportsfan.

And Mr. SS was nowhere near as gross as the woman a year or two back who compulsively picked at her face until she was a mutilated mess.

When did Grisson get fat? His face looked bloated (not as much as Mr. Manjuice though), and I don’t think it’s the beard…