CSI: Cyber

[JerrySTL]

The CSI franchise might have ‘jumped the shark’ with this one. The most recent episode (Crowd Sourced S1 Ep5) had something so bogus, that it had me shaking my head.

[Sam_Lowry]

I’ve not watched the show, but the recaps on Vultureand Gizmodoare hilarious. From the Vulture recap:

The bomber issues another threat: a second bomb will explode once the site gets 1 million views. Agent Ryan puts it another way: “Our target is using pageviews on a website to make the public responsible for the next explosion!”

Thus begins the most bonkers exchange yet:
Sifter: We have to pull it down now!

Ramirez: We’ve tried to hack it. The firewall is too robust, but we’re working on it.

Sifter: Well, work faster. That URL cannot remain online!

“That URL cannot remain online!” is such a good line that I want it tattooed on my face.

It sounds like a perfect show to binge watch when they are doing a marathon on TNT or Spike and you are too tired to use all of your brain to watch a smarter show. And even then you’ll be able to tell how stupid it all is and laugh your ass off at it.

[Biggirl]

I tried t watch this show. Twice. I couldn’t get past 10 minutes. It’s stupid. And Patricia Arquette is terrible. She’s like a parody of a tough street cop. Which you would have to be, to be a Cyber Cop.

[dasmoocher]

@Sam_Lowry

It sounds like a perfect show to binge watch when they are doing a marathon on TNT or Spike and you are too tired to use all of your brain to watch a smarter show. And even then you’ll be able to tell how stupid it all is and laugh your ass off at it.

Maybe they can start a cyber-competition with the team from Scorpion.

First team that finds the Any Key wins.

[Sam_Lowry]

And from the recap on Gizmodoof the previous episode:

Yes, we have arrived at the Evil Internet of Things episode, “Fire Code.” It starts with a woman discovering all of her internet-connected devices have become ~possessed~ but we, the viewers, can assume it is actually the work of a black hat hacker rather than a Zuul-type situation, because we are watching CSI: Cyber and not Oscar Winner™ Patricia Arquette’s other recent network television drama, Medium, which deals with the supernatural.

Anyways, instead of fleeing the house like a rational human being, the woman grabs a kitchen knife and slowly walks towards a menacingly glowing door. At this point I was like “GURL get out of there you cannot stab an internet murder ghost!” But alas, she opens the door and discovers a giant fire. It turns out, someone hacked her Wi-Fi password to insert a malicious firmware update on her devices.

The fact that someone figured out how to make printers catch on fire with code is baffling to our team. The BOSS of the cybercrime unit is dumbfounded. “A piece of code did all this?” he asks, like pieces of code aren’t responsible for the majority of the crimes his team investigates. Like, dude. If a piece of code didn’t do it, why are you even investigating?

Everything is hilarious.

@dasmoocher

Maybe they can start a cyber-competition with the team from Scorpion.

First team that finds the Any Key wins.

I haven’t seen Scorpion either, but it also sounds hilarious. I don’t know if the writers don’t understand technology, or don’t care, or do understand but think it’s funny to put the craziest sounding things in there.

[JSexton]

I watched the first three episodes in full on MST3K mode, and that’s pretty much my fill of them. The subtext seems to be “Carol Mendelsohn is very afraid of technology and you should be too!” I can picture thousands of 50-70 year olds watching this and casting suspicious glances at their grandson’s laptop.

[simster]

I couldn’t get past the promos

“we’ll take you into the dark web - where us cyber crime folks need to carry guns”

“Watch out johnny - he’s got the fast ethernet!”

“hmmmm - this computer died from severe packet loss, caused by a leaky rj11 that went undetected until the unsub tried to download…”.

[RivkahChaya]

I like it, but for all the same reasons I like Criminal Minds and CSI. I think it’s hysterical watching people try to solve elaborate crimes that no one would commit in real life, since the goal of crime is profit (except where it’s just spontaneous violence, serial killing, or eliminating a person for some sui generis reason). No one is going to all the trouble and expense to manufacture a crime that will result in a net loss for the criminal even if he’s never caught.

My husband hates them because the science is so stupid, but that’s half the fun for me.

It’s no Beyond Rangoon, but Patricia Arquette is fine, as far as I’m concerned. The role is silly enough that she could certainly be a lot worse.

Now, I’ll admit that the most recent ep didn’t succeed in keeping my attention very well, but a few of the others have been great, as far as cop TV goes.

Does anyone else think it feels more like a Criminal Minds spin off, than another CSI show?

[jlsmith57]

@RivkahChaya

Does anyone else think it feels more like a Criminal Minds spin off, than another CSI show?

I agree with this. I don’t know how they can call what this team is doing ‘crime scene’ anything. How often would they really need to physically go to a scene for their kind of investigating?