Why I hate CSI

William Peterson’s character is such an anus-faced pedantic knowitall he gives the impression that the last time he got laid was at an away chess match his junior year of highschool.

Plus, for all their superior knowitall exposition–clumsy MUCH?–they often just plain get shit wrong.

My nomination for the most annoying show without Jennifer Anniston in it ever.

I find it annoying for the preposterous plots, the “laboratories” that are furnished and lit like swanky Euro-trash nightclubs, and the fact that everyone is so damn chic and stylish. And I haven’t watched the show enough to discover this (and don’t intend to), so can anyone explain why the CSI people investigate the crimes, instead of, y’know, actual cops?

(Yes, I’ve waited a while to get some of this off my chest.)

It embodies many of the things that usually irritate me about drama series’ but somehow I get drawn into it.

I just can’t get over what the forensic scientists must be thinking before work. “Lipstick, check, eyeshadow, check, jewelry, check, stylish haircut, check. Ok, time for an autopsy!”

That, and apparantly in Las Vegas there are no cops – just CSI people that do all the work, from crime scene analysis to browbeating suspects to dramatic shootouts with the perps.

That is what I hate most about CSI. A crime scene tech does two things: take evidence at a crime scene, and analyze it in the lab. And usually, for the sake of not contaiminating things, those duties are not done by the same person. And sometimes a CSI person will go to court to testify. They do NOT interrogate suspects, they do NOT go out to find suspects, they do NOT make these big theories about who did it. They take evidence, analyze it, and give that information to detectives so THEY can do the rest.
CSI is a craptacular show.

I don’t understand why they couldn’t do a law and order type deal only with csi people instead of lawyers.

My guess is that the principles of Law and Order, as such, don’t jibe with those of CSI–the setup of the shows by nature is too different. :slight_smile:

Personally, I don’t mind CSI… I’m not a hardcore fan, but William Petersen is good-looking (if nothing else) and the witty dialogue is always fun.

I’ve seen one episode - the one where the Miami guy went to New York to introduce the New York crew. It was eye-rollingly bad. It was like an SNL parody of a bad crime show.

Paraphrased dialogue: “Why don’t you just let the New York cops arrest this guy?”
“The New York cops didn’t make a promise to that little girl whose parents were just murdered.” - said as the guy dramatically puts on his sunglasses and grimaces into the sun.

I watched ten or fifteen minutes of one show once.

The investigators made some ridiculously implausible inductive leap based on the flimsiest possible evidence. I don’t remember the details but it was something about how shards of glass had gotten underneath something. Or something.

Haven’t watched it since.

Oh wow! I’ve hated CSI since it started. William Peterson totally creeps me out. I’ve tried to explain it to people who are so in shock that I don’t watch it, and no one else has understood. I LOATHE him.
Plus that whole unrealistic thing. Ridiculous.

Yeah; couple of those kinds of groaners a show. Like reading some of the lesser Sherlock Holmes stories. Yeah, that’s one of a THOUSAND possible conclusions, but it’s only the correct one because the author says so. If you know what I mean.

I was forced to watch an episode last year while staying with my CSI obsessed cousin. (Granted, it was her house and she bought the pizza, but I still would’ve rather watched Must See TV.) The whole thing was so bloody preposterous that I’ve managed to shut out everything but broad impressions, the strongest of which (beyond the completely incredible overall concept) was that it was outrageously gory. It would’ve taken all three of a week’s episodes of Law & Order plus a particularly trauma-laden episode of ER to serve up as many mutilated bodies and bullet holes and garrotted throats and arterial spray as I saw in that one hour.

Put me right off my marinara-dipped breadsticks, I tell ya. I’m never going back there again. (Besides, skip The Apprentice? Are you mad?!?!)

That’s CSI: Miami and the horribly bad, nasty actor David Caruso. That show and that actor are about 12 billion times worse than CSI: and William Peterson. I haven’t seen CSI: New York, but it looks terrible despite the fact that Gary Sinise is the main character. I’m waiting for CSI: Chicago, CSI: Houston, CSI: Alberta, CSI: Atlantis, CSI: Venus, etc. Great fun!

Now there’s one I’d watch :stuck_out_tongue:

This week I watched my first CSI. I was all exited because I heart Gary Sinise. Instead of Gary I got David Caruso, emoting his heart out. You know, the L&O cops go to a crime scene and do their job, but they’re cracking jokes, too. THis is their job! They see dead bodies a couple times a day. If they let themselves get so worked up about each one they’d go crazy. With the L&O folks, about the only time they really seem upset is if the vic is a child. And even then it’s not full-out emoting, it’s just a little quieter, a little more professional.

Anyway, I thought CSI was one of the top shows on TV - I can’t imagine how it got there.


I watch CSI on a fairly regular basis.

CSI: Miami is unwatchable because of David Caruso.

I’m still not sold on CSI: New York.

If the only episodes you’ve seen were either New York or Miami, then yes, it is very very bad. CSI: Las Vegas is pure entertainment. The characters have more personality than ALL the characters in ALL the other crime dramas, ( except for the occassional hooker or lunatic who only get to appear for one episode.)

There have only been a few episodes that contained “gore”. Inorder to show what these people see in their line of work, they have to show what these people see in their line of work. The only other alternative is for the characters to stand around and talk about things that were never seen on camera, like on NYPD Blue. :rolleyes:

It’s not the best show out there, but atleast it’s original. Or atleast it was original until it was allowed to reproduce.

Um, the OP is about the LV version. I’ve never seen the other two and never plan to see them. I’ve watched a handful of LV in rerun, and my criticisms are entirely aimed at that show.

Although I’d do that faux-punky labdude in a heartbeat.

Again, that’s CSI: Miami, not CSI: Vegas. The difference is David Caruso; he’s completely awful and creepy and just… ick. He’s just really bad at what he does. And that blonde chick! Where the hell did she come from? And now she’s in a toothpaste commercial?! EWWW!!!

Anyway, I’m not saying CSI: Vegas is super fantastic or anything, but it’s a damn lot better than CSI: Miami (I’ve no opinion on CSI: NY) and they should have just left well enough alone.

Miami is the only one I can stand. I hate the Vegas cast, and I only watched the first (mind-numbingly boring) episode of NY. I should have known it would be boring given the crossover was tedious too.