CSI: Miami Last Night (*spoilers*) - Bad Show!

If you don’t want to know what happened, please don’t read.

I am done with this show. I have tried a few times, and it just is not there. Where do I begin?

  • Kim Delaney’s weak-ass, unengaged acting?
  • The whole “it’s the epi-stick, pubes in your underwear woman!” “No - it’s not me, he was allergic and I liked to see him dress up! - you have to believe me!” “Okay, we do - gee, it must not be her…” plotline. How stupid and poorly structured was that? I know we are supposed to get a misdirection, but could that have been more poorly handled.
  • The nicotine condom? How implausible - like a condom could be filled with poison, put on a man, and not affect the woman - please. So unbelievable it was insulting.
  • The murderer’s motive - I still don’t get it…

Beyond dumb.

I’m with you on your assessment of the show. I totally love the original CSI, but because of my school schedule I’m rarely able to watch it. So I was looking forward to CSI Miami until I found out how lame it truly is.

The characters aren’t compelling. It seems they’ve tried to set up some kind of mystique around Horatio (David Caruso), but they haven’t successfully translated it into anything but ridiculous dialogue.

I did appreciate that they had two storylines going last night instead of just one, but that just meant that there were two unsatisfying plots to keep track of.

On the second storyline, I can’t believe that a CSI would contaminate evidence by sneezing and not IMMEDIATELY say something. I kept waiting for something to turn up where he was found out, but instead he confessed, got a mild rebuke, and kept right on going.

Suspension of disbelief? Nah, I don’t think so. Thank goodness for the channel that runs CSI reruns on Monday nights (TNN I think, but could be wrong). That way I can get my CSI fix without having to subject myself to the Miami gang.

If Party Boy had really had an allergic reaction, he would not have continued to party.
The girl who gave him the Epi-pen injection would have known to call 911 after giving him the injection. After an allergic reaction to the shellfish (what was it he was drinking? ground pearls?), he would have to be monitored in the hospital for a brief period.

The nicotine-in-the-condom thing was weird, but it shouldn’t have affected the woman; after all, isn’t the point of a condom to keep fluids from mixing?

The whole plot was too contrived for me.

And Kim Delany touched the eye dropper to the swab from the bloody knife when she was checking it for blood. She swabbed it, and then touched the eye dropper from the chemical bottle to the bloody swab. She contaminated the whole chemical bottle! Bad scientist! No cookie!

Ivylad had to watch football again. Can I get a synopsis? (I’m still giving Miami a shot, but except for Caruso, Delaney, Alexander and Proctor I still don’t know who plays whom.)

I agree with many of the points. I just kept looking at my watch last night, thinking, “What, it’s not over yet?” I have never done that with the original CSI.

The sneezing thing had me wondering as well. I figured that he had contaminated he evidence and this was going to come back to bite them. No, turns out it’s completely meaningless. I really did not see any point for it being there at all. Very strange…

I think the show is a vastly inferior knockoff of the original. There are many problems.

The characters are unengaging. Only Caruso has the slightest personality, and it’s pretty much the same character he played in “NYPD Blue.” Same with Kim Delaney, though her character has no personality at all. And Emily Procter and Khandi Alexander are given nothing to do. It’s painful to watch Procter spouting dull dialogue with the image of Ainsley Hayes in mind; she competes with herself and comes off very badly.

Granted, the show is not supposed to be character based. But Grissom and Willows and the rest of the the original CSI cast are well-drawn, interesting characters and manage to show their personality.

The stories are less interesting, and there seems to be too much reliance on gross outs and bad taste. The entire nicotine-in-the-condom plot was just plain uncalled-for (and a bit preposterous – if there were liquid in the condom, the guy would notice it when putting it on; it would leak out).

The original CSI concentrates on intriguing mysteries (“How’d he manage to get killed this way?”); CSI:M goes for kinky sex and grotesqueness. There’s also too much concentration on the close-ups and other “Oh ick” shots. In the original, they’re punctuation to the story; here, they linger lovingly on them.

Hiding the sneezing did make no sense, and it ultimately didn’t matter at all (it was just dressing up a red herring). WordMan is right about the motive – it was stupid. OK, he’s bothering her, but why kill him?

I’m losing patience with the show.

I hate this new show. I took it off my Tivo, but left the original on. After the terrible episode with the burned woman, I am no longer interested. David Caruso has a skin condition, I swear it, eeeww.
It’s like the show has a huge agenda. Let’s see:
Illegal cubans should get better care
Killing a fetus is the most awful thing you can do
Priests don’t help people enough.
The only good show was the airplane in the everglades one.
I like the original.

I gave up after last week’s show on the child serial killer. Not only was the abduction itself impossible in the amount of time they gave for it, but there were a million holes in the plotline. And I agree that the characters are undistinguished and unappealing.

Go back to the original season of CSI. Yes, it is on TNN, Monday nights after RAW (usually starting about 11:07, but I just set my VCR for an hour-and-a-half to be safe). They are immensely superior.

So…I’m the only one who likes this better than the orginal? I think the orginal is boring(based on the two episodes I actually got through- I’d figure out the “mysteries” 15 minutes into each), but at least I like the cast of this one- what’s not to love about Rory Cochrane?- , not that I go out of my way to watch it, either. Both of these shows are morbid, but I think this one is a bit more interesting than the orginal.

Count me among those who like Las Vegas but hate Miami. I figured out that the first guy had been poisoned while he was still on the ground. Dead guy, young, looks healthy, no obvious wounds, cuts, fractures, or abrasions - the first thing anyone would suspect is poison. Order up a tox screen before you even open up the body! I also boggled at the magic PCR machine. Where can I get one of those? Get results right after loading the machine; no need to wait an hour or more, no need to run the samples for another hour or more, no need to analyze the results. Bah.

We’re die hard CSI fans… just can’t get into CSI Miami. The blonde woman and the woman who does the autopsies at least have some personality that doesn’t seem too contrived (the blonde is kind of sassy.)

Pet peeve, pet peeve, pet peeve: (both shows, but MUCH more so in Miami)

Does no one where safety glasses, masks, hatties, booties or the typical “don’t-contaminate-the-stuff” garb??? At least in the lab?

The one episode, a guy was lying on his back carefully examining the underside of a burnt car. When I reach under my car to get at the drain pan plug, I end up with grit and rust all over my face just from the quick reach – forget about thoroughly examining the underside with my eyes wide open!

On the X-Files Dana Scully usually wore safety glasses and a mask while doing an autopsy. On CSI Miami the woman just cuts away sometimes not even with a lab coat. Sometimes she has a mask dangling around her neck – she doesn’t wear it, but sometimes she’s got one. You wouldn’t want a mouthful of goo from cutting into something that bursts unexpectedly.

David Caruso bugs me. Kim Delaney doesn’t even need to be there.

To be fair, there was a cut between entering the sample and getting the result. It could have been an hour or even longer, just telegraphed to keep things moving.

There’s enough time between loading the samples and getting the results that you can do dozens of other things; like catch the killer. They could at least have shown the DNA fingerprints up on one of the giant flat panel monitors hanging on the wall.

Another plot hole -

If I had poisoned some guy’s condom I can damn sure say I wouldnt leave it in a flower bed for the detectives to find - thats what Mister Flushing Toilet is for.

And a question for the guys, since I don’t wear condoms :wink: .
If a condom was full of some sort of insecticide…wouldn’t you notice? Would it burn or itch? Wouldn’t you realize it was full of some sort of liquid, at any rate?

I’m not a guy, but WAG – lots of condoms are coated with a gooey spermicide/lubricant. As long as it didn’t burn his wee-wee, and if he was drunk, he may not have noticed.

But I still think it was a stupid episode.

Both the CSI’s bother me on a science front. Everyone keeps flipping their hair over the eppendorf tubes. Or breathing on EVERYTHING. Or wandering in shedding everywhere.
I have learned to deal with it if the plot is intriguing. CSI:Miami fails the plot test.

Some of you will be happy! I heard this morning on the radio than Kim Delaney is leaving the show.
I really liked her in NYPD Blue, but CSI Miami doesn’t appeal to me…

I haven’t watched CSI:Miami yet (nor do I plan to), but I agree with Apricot that the science details on CSI are sometimes annoying. I jsut posted to the spoilers one about last night’s show, regarding the IR test of the paint sample - I mean, as if IR can tell you much about a mixture like paint, and as if the killer would use the same paint can 15 years later, and as if the motor oil thinner wouldn’t contaminate the sample…arrrgghhhh. That one bothered me. And the stupid PCR graphic for the DNA. I guess it shows what they’re going, but I am actually beginning to hate the DNA double helix, because it’s too “pretty” and everyone overuses it way too much in TV/movies!

Actually, comparison of Las Vegas’s PCR graphic, lame as it was, with Miami’s instantaneous PCR, about which I have already ranted above, serves to underscore the difference in styles between the two shows. In Las Vegas, they showed you the technician (never seen her before; is she new?) centrifuging the samples, loading the machine, punching up the profile. You certainly get the impression that it’s a procedure that takes a while to accomplish, unlike Miami’s miraculous machine.