CSI: Miami. is it purposely this bad?

It’s an okay show, I guess, but the last episode I watched pushed suspension of disbelief about as far as it’ll go.

[li]Sean Combs as a lawyer??[/li][li]Entire car dusted for fingerprints before the huge blood smear was noticed?[/li][li]Oh, that blood smear looks just like it was made by a golf glove. A specific make and model, too.[/li][li]The ME misses maggots in the victim’s nose?[/li][li]Days later they find the exact same species of fly in a trash lined alley by following the buzzing and moving only one bag?[/li][/ul]

Why am I still watching this show?

I bailed out when I couldn’t figure out why Caruso always bent his head at a 45 degree angle every time he talked to a woman. I think that was somewhere around the second episode of the first season.

Yes. The pun-theme song combination at the beginning of every show is brilliantly bad. Plus, you can always tell immediately that it’s on, since Miami only has really intense colors, instead of what the rest of the world looks like.

Oh, and don’t forget that Caruso delivers every line in the same way: start talking while looking slightly to the side of the other person, then look directly at them to finish the line.

But for your objections, no, pretty much all modern detective shows are like that.

I guess Life spoiled me.

I watch it *because *it is so bad, especially Caruso’s acting. He delivers every damn line as if it is an ironic finale, pregnant pause and all…“I think I’ll have a cup of…<tilts head slightly>… coffee!”

He comes out of his trailer every day, puts a hand to his hip while squinting into the sun.

“It’s time to…” He puts on his sunglasses, “…act.”

Mocked well here.

It could be a good show, if they’d just kill off Caruso’s character already!

Well, puppies are cute when they do that, maybe he’s trying to be cute? (it’s not working).

I like to think it’s supposed to be that bad & unbelieveable. That’s the only way I can enjoy it, really. My disbelief can be suspended a lot further when I know it’s supposed to be ridiculous.

Don’t forget the reams of clunky exposition!

**CSI #1: **Greetings, my fellow highly trained scientist. Would you like me to describe the procedure that we are doing in insanely exquisite detail even though you are, as I said, a highly trained scientist who really ought to already know what we are doing?
**CSI #2: **That would be wonderful, because I just love the sound of your sexy voice. Remember, though, when we do this procedure tomorrow, it’s my turn to needlessly describe it!

I can think of no other reason for Caruso’s abysmal acting. It must be on purpose.

Mr. Caruso . . .I have the vaguest recollection that he was o.k. on NYPD Blue and I must give him props for his role in the excellent “Session 9”. So, I’m thinking that yes, he’s acting like a giant douche on purpose.

Just once, could Horatio carry on a one minute conversation without taking his sunglasses on and off 20 times?

One of my pet peeves with all the CSI shows (but it’s most glaring on the Miami version), but ISTM that everyone on the show buys their footwear at a special store for really, really LOUD shoes.

No CSI Miami ep. is complete without a scene in which the detectives are strolling into a building and as soon as their heels hit the lobby floor, you hear a CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP…, as if a herde or horses was galloping through the building.

I know that this is probably wayyyy down the list of stupid things about this show, but it does rankle me. Am I the only one?

One better - I recall a similar sound effect used when a bikini-clad (and appropriately barefoot) woman climed out of a swimming pool and crossed the concrete. Clack-clack-clack-clack-clack.

I like the unique optical qualities of Miami best == CSI techs are preparing to examine a bullet-riddled vehicle left in the middle of the road, at high noon. Step one: Get out the 3V Mag-Lite.

…or, David Caruso stepping out of the noon-day Miami sun, and entering an abandoned warehouse to take down some armed hostiles. (Making a point to stop and put his sunglasses on just as he crosses the threshold, of course.)

I think it’s intentionally bad. When I used to watch CSI: Miami, that was the main attraction.

I never got past the concept of the CSI guys acting like detectives. I can imagine a real-life encounter:

“CSI. Where were you last night?”
“Wait…who are you?”
“CSI. We need you to answer some questions.”
“Still not getting it…are you the Police?”
“Crime Scene Investigators. We found traces of your blood…”
“Wait - so you’re not the Police?”
“OK buddy, you need to come down for questioning.”
“Uh…I don’t think you can place me under arrest. You’re just lab gyuys, right?”
“Yeah. I’m leaving now.”
“Stop! CSI!”
::drives away::

So, now I’m picturing a bunch of detectives walking into a building, followed by an equal number of uniformed police officers banging coconut halves together.

Crap, now I’m going to notice that to distraction.

My pet peeves (Caruso need not me entioned due to the obviousness) are:

a) The ME who shows up to crime scenes in club wear. In the linked photo, IIRC, she is standing next to a huge pool of blood because half a family was chopped to pieces. Aren’t CSIs supposed to wear paper suits and booties over their shoes and hair thingies on their heads to keep from contaminating the scene?

b) The whole “Gimme your DNA!”

This is how the conversation ought to go:

CSI: “Open you mouth, we need a swab of your DNA.”
Dude: “Do you have a warrant?”
CSI: “Uh…”
Dude: “I’m not compelled to lick that stick unless you have a warrant. Until then, you can take that swab and stick it up your DNA hole.”

I think of the show as just a way for me to look at hotties Emily Proctor, Eva LaRue, and Megalyn Echikunwoke. I like my MEs to look good!

I immediately know what’s on when I channel surf past CSI Miami and see a scene that looks super bright orange, or a bar scene is super bright blue.