Goddamn, these shows are inescapable. Enough is enough already. Miami, Las Vegas, New York. Who cares? They’re all the same fucking show with the same formulaic plots. I, like most people, thought they were great for a while. Now I can’t stand any of them.
David Caruso should be taken out back and shot right through the sunglasses.
Well, I kind of have a soft spot for David Caruso, because he was just so adorable way back when he was on NYPD BLUE, so I’ve forgiven him a lot of bad acting. But yeah, CSI sucks, that’s for sure.
Yeah, CSI is totally overdone and overexposed.
That’s why I watch Law and Order.
Oh Jesus Christ. At least L&O isn’t quite so stylized and overblown. But yeah. Sick of it too.
[David Caruso]
Are you OK with that? 'Cuz I’m OK.
[/David Caruso]
I never liked it, now I feel validated.
Thanks.
I gave up on the original CSI when they had a plot that revolved around a guy molding a bullet out of frozen meat and shooting another guy with it. With a handgun. Frozen meat. Shot from a handgun. I just looked at the TV, dumbfounded.
CSI got so ridiculous, that I just decided to substitute Boston Legal for it since it’s ridiculous as well, but funny at the same time.
I just lurv the way all those smart, scientifically-inclined forensic chicks always seem to be wearing party-gear with their tits hanging out instead of clothing that might actually protect the crime sites from contamination, and protect THEM from all the biohazard stuff they tinker with.
C’mon, seriously, CSI Miama (especially) would have to be a spoof, right??
You would think that “smart, scientifically-inclined […] chicks […] wearing party-gear with their tits hanging out” would make for compelling TV, but it doesn’t. Well, at the very least, it doesn’t make up for the rest of the CSI content which is pure crapulence.
CSI dialogue:
Any CSI forensic expert: DNA
Accused: What are you talking about?
ACFE: DNA
A: Huh?
ACFE: DNA, DNA, DNA!!!
I have hated CSI:Whatever for years, but I will never be stop loving “smart, scientifically-inclined […] chicks […] wearing party-gear with their tits hanging out” so I end up watching CSI:Whatever for a minute or two every now and again. I have found that using MUTE helps.
Followed by a Roger Daltry scream…
I consider myself lucky that I managed never to see an episode of any CSI or L&O. Because I would probably have been sucked in and would now be stuck watching all of them.
Of course it’s difficult to keep any long-running series interesting.
I still happily watch CSI Las Vegas, because the characters and relationships only develop slowly, while the emphasis is on the science and investigation.
Consider how well Grissom’s deafness was handled, or his relationship with Sara.
By contrast, **CSI Miami ** has indeed gone completely overboard. The storylines became wilder and wilder:
I haven’t made my mind up about CSI New York, but I think the characters are basically stock ones (let’s have an ex-marine in charge, with a feisty woman, an Italian, an Irishman and a black guy).
I watched a grand total of three episodes of CSI, after being repeatedly told what a great, intelligent, scientifically accurate show it was. I was first tripped up by that the forensics guys were doing detective work. I figured it was okay, because consolidating characters was a staple of TV. Lab guys filing reports and sending them to the detectives makes boring TV. (Like the doctors on House doing their own lab and radiology work.)
Then, the furry guy had the magical semen that traveled outside of his suit and smeared all over another suit. “That was a stupid mistake,” I said, “surely that’s the exception.” Then the furry guy gets poisoned by covering another furry’s suit. “Okay, I guess that could happen if the furry guy takes off his head to nibble,” I thought. But then the furry guy doesn’t even take off his head to vomit! AND THEN he gets shot by a rancher who was introduced in the last five minutes! “What the Fuck?” I shouted to the TV. Mrs. Magill, just shook her head at this sad state of affairs.
I give the show one more chance. After all, with twenty some-odd episodes per season, there’s bound to be some sloppy writing every once in a while. But then I watch a pretend vampire dude totally drain a human body of all it’s blood through two little holes in its neck he made with his CAPPED TEETH!! Let me repeat this. He sucked nearly ten pints of blood through two little holes and drank it. Ten pints. Two holes. Into his stomach. Without getting sick. I can barely put away ten pints of Guinness (liquid gold) without getting a little queasy. And I know I couldn’t do it by sucking it through two little holes.
My brane still hurts from teh stoopid.
And when they walk into a bar, watch out! The jokes just start a-flyin!
I still watch CSI:NY because I really like Gary Sinise (Lt. Dan, can you come take a look at this blood spatter? Lt. Daaaann?) and I am totally in love with Danny and that accent. Say what you will but when Danny and the dark haired cop guy start talking it makes this southern girl sweat.
As for CSI:Miami, well, I watch that too but just so I can be sure not to miss when they turn the contrast up so high that the show collapses into the next series CSI:Black Hole. Seriously, watch one of the first episodes compared to today. It’s like they shoved neon lights up everyone’s butt. I was watching the late Sunday night episode of CSI:Miami and it was one of the first ones with that drunk actress that left early on and it was so muted and *not * insane that I thought I was watching NYPD Blue.
One episode of … Saving Grace, I think it was… had a dtective asking a forensic scientist if she could match a hoofprint they found to a specific horse.
“No, that can’t be done,” was the reply, “unless ‘The Who’ is playing in the background.”
Me and my SO watch CSI Miami all the time - we love making fun of David Caruso and how he always stands sideways when he speaks, and always with enormous melodrama. The horrendous plots (glee, you summed it up nicely!) are also just so far out there and full of holes that it’s hilarious.
Las Vegas is alright though. NY, not so much, but it’s not horrible either…
Did you ever know that you’re my hero, and everything I would like to be?
I still record CSI:Miami, or as I heard it referred to recently, CSI:Extra Crispy, but most of the time I delete it without watching. Except for last week - they brought Speed back!
I stopped watching the Vegas one after I realized that I hated all of the characters. I have no desire to go back.
The only one that I watch regulary now is CSI:NY, mainly for the eye candy (mmmm, Eddie Cahill). I am also amused at the camera work designed to hide Carmine Giovinazzo’s (Danny) thinning hair - anyone else notice this? He is clearlg losing it in the back?
Just me, then?
:dubious: You seem to know a lot about furries.