CSI Miami is so full of crap - last night's show- spoiler warning

Last night’s CSI Miami was so far beyond the boundaries of normal stupidity it deserves special mention.

Let’s see - Cell phone “spark” (yeah cell phones are “sparking” all the time they’re like little barbecue lighters donchaknow) and ignites gasoline fumes in guys throat and stomach that are there because he siphoned out some gas awhile ago and after he has been washing his mouth and esophagus out with milk. Even if we concede that cell phone sparking happened, to imagine the “fumes” left over from a siphoning and after a mouth is washed out with milk are going to be enough to catch fire is simply insane. These investigate shows are beginning to go insane with the “it coulda happened” nonsense.

Hey! If it was on TV, it must be true, so settle down there firefighter!


I told her I wanted to make love to her badly. She said I would have to do better than that.

SPOILER WARNING: (though it’s not really an important plot spoiler – it’s a writing Kim Delaney out of the show spoiler)
Question: At the end, Horatio Caine was feeling all sad that Kim Delaney left the show because “the job reminds her of her dead husband.” Horatio looks at an old memorial pamphlet, the kind given out at funeral services, and it said “In Memory of Richard Caine…” and had a photo of a guy with Caruso-red hair and a beard.

Was Kim Delaney’s character the widow of Horatio’s brother? (And hence working with Horatio reminded her to much of her late hubby?) Is that information new? “Kim Delaney as widow” has been specified on the show before, but was the husband ever identified as Horatio’s brother?

Was I completely hallucinating or misunderstanding that little tag at the end there?

My wife and I noticed the same thing on the memorial pamphlet. That relationship was news to us.

Mudpupper I’d heard that originally they were going to create some kind of romatic involvement between the NYPD Blue alumnae which made my SO and I think “Ew, ick!”. Then Kim Delaney didn’t work out (she reminded me of Capt. Janeway in the first season of Voyager – she just reiterated other people’s lines, and didn’t really DO very much).

I’m just glad I’m not the only one who noticed. Phew! Thanks for corraborating. I guess it was supposed to be a “poignant exit” without a teary goodbye and melodrama.

Well, remember that Hornblower said he had almost walked away once too. Maybe that was when he lost his father or brother, and her letter just reminded him of it, so he pulled out the memorial pamphlet, which, being a very melodramatic sort, he keeps in his desk drawer so he can conveniently stare at it.

It’s not a very good show, is it? :smiley:

She left?

I missed that. She was one of the reasons I wasn’t watching the show.

Do those people who watch think that this will make it better, or should I keep on not watching Miami?

Amarinth my SO and I really don’t like it compared to the original series, but we keep watching in hopes it will get better. Some of the characters are getting better as the writers flesh them out a bit more (the M.E. is kinda cool, and the blond who seems to like guns is kinda sassy), but the two supporting males are still kinda wishy-washy and undefined.

Oh, and we both think that if David Caruso was replaced by someone else (like that smarmy little Dr. Romano guy from ER) the show would be vastly improved. He’s got too much of a slick “Miami Vice” feel that makes it too cool. Part of what’s fun about the original series is that the characters are science geeks who are cool because they know stuff, and they have the “everyman” appeal.

CSI:M they remind me of Snoopy as “Joe Cool.”

I don’t know that Kim Delaney’s absence will make much of a difference - I didn’t like her too much either. It is still going to be a pretty “posey” show (as is David Caruso - strike a pose… on the boat, in front of the window, etc.) Although I also kind of like the sassy blond character.

I am not that excited to get more personal with the characters though. They do this on the regular series too, and it usually feels fake and out of place with the storylines.

(Of course, I keep watching it, so who am I to talk, eh?)

Snopes on the possibility of igniting gas fumes with a cell phone.

What about the video that was going around a few days ago where a man was filling up gas cans in the back of his truck and static electricity ignited some fumes? Did that have anything to do with cell phones?

Oh, I didn’t mean that more personal would be better, I mean that some of the characters don’t seem to have personalities yet. The blond has got some sass and gets smirky when it looks like there’s going to be some cool ballistics work to do. The ME has a creepy mothering way of talking to bodies (“now what were you doing drinking beer at fifteen years old, baby?” or some such comment [sub]creepy![/sub]) and she’s kind of sly, like she already knows where things might be heading. Those two have personalities. They are engaging and I find myself far more interested in their clues thanthe guys’.

The two guys don’t seem to have personalities yet, so their forensic clues don’t seem particularly interesting when they find them (compared to say CSI’s Grissom whose bug fascination can make a caterpillar really interesting.) A lot of time the two guys end up sounding really dull.

Although last night’s “Leeches 101” course felt really contrived too and that was with the better characters.

And David Caruso just strikes a pose and broods all the time.

Sure, the phone bit was silly, but ya gotta admit the leeches were cool…

<Potential Headline>Teenage Girl Gets Sucked to Death!</P.H.>

-Tygr, whose vampire-mobile will have the license plate: X-ANGUIN-8

PS: I like the Hispanic cop lady better than Kim Delaney anyway…

Nope. All has to do with the use of plastic gas cans, bed liners and the insulating nature of tires. The static’s created by the motion of the gas through the hose, and it can’t be dissapated if the tank’s not on the ground, so the charge builds up, and a spark jumps from the can to the nozzle and boom! Instant crispy critter. No cell phones needed.

You actually noticed that she was in the show? I missed the first couple of episodes, so until I saw the one of the first ones recently (the plane crash one) I didn’t know who she was since she had almost no lines or screen time by the time I started watching.

The ME creeps me out to varying degrees with her corpse chats (it seems to have toned down, at least comparing it to that older episode, though) but she’s ok. The other characters are a little more boring. I’m not sure why I watch it since it is a silly show, but I think it’s more entertaining than the orginal CSI which I don’t watch more often than once in a blue moon.

They never developed her character, she barely had lines, and she never did anything, she pretty much just wandered around the set, it seems. Like window dressing. I think they added her to the cast last minute after her show Philly got cancelled in hopes that a “star name” would help the show take off. But they didn’t have a real purpose for her – all the functioning roles were already filled.

“Corpse chats”… :stuck_out_tongue:

My SO and I finally quit watching CSI Miami a few weeks ago…it is nowhere near as good as the original, and the stories were far more far-fetched.

We also recently gave up on the Sunday Law & Order spin off…but that’s another thread.

Here’s a nice article from Sunday’s Miami Herald about the way some actual forensic scientists and prosecutors feel about CSI.

And here’s the article from the ABA website that they mentioned, Evidence Piles Up Against CSI.

Personally, I think the show is entertaining, but requires a willing suspension of disbelief to work-- like any other television drama. Making a huge stink about it, is almost like criticizing The X Files for misrepresenting the FBI. Almost. Okay, maybe more like Twenty-Four, which people might think was a realistic portrayal of how counter-terrorist units operate-- if they had enough lead in their diet.

If they made a realistic show about criminalists, it’d be painfully dull. (They could easily leave off reinforcing urban legends though – that’s criminal. The one about the “snuff” film got my back up – it might have been okay if they didn’t include that line about the FBI privately acknowledging that it’s a lucrative business, in spite of their “official position” that they were an urban legend. :smack: )