But Mighty_Girl, I could convey the same message by saying “I have absolutely no respect for you and I think that you are below me in every way.” And you wouldn’t take offense at any of the individual words in that sentence. To me, that sentence is much more hurtful than the solitary word ‘cunt’ but yet it doesn’t use any “bad” words.
I’m just trying to make the point that the intent is harmful, not the words.
If you say so I’d be equally offended as if you just call me a cunt. The latter is just a shorcut.
If you tell me that because of the colour of my skin you consider me beneath you and therefore not entiltled to the same rights that you are I’d be offended. Or you can take a shorcut and call me nigger (not that you would, it is just an example).
It is all in the context. I’ve used the word nigger to refer to myself in casual, humorous ways when talking to my SO. He’d used it himself (he’s Caucasian) and I haven’t taken offense. He’s called me bitch and a few other things when I beat him playing cards. I didn’t take offense and just replied with another seemingly equally offensive slur. I know that he doesn’t consider me beneath him, just like he knows I don’t consider him beneath me.
As for you, since I don’t know you (generally, not specifically), I won’t give you the benefit of the doubt. If you call me a nigger or you call me a cunt I will take offense without the need of your explaining what you meant.
Well then, Mighty_Girl, that’s your choice. If you choose to allow a word said to you by someone you don’t know who doesn’t know you to offend you, that’s your choice.
It’s not because the word that person used is ‘bad’.
catsix, perhaps you missed the OP, but the specific question asked was:
It was not “Women of the SDMB, are you offended by the word ‘cunt’?”, much less “Does catsix personally find the word ‘cunt’ offensive?”
astro wanted to know why the word is generally considered to be a very strong insult. Several people have made honest attempts to answer, but you have merely posted – repeatedly – that you don’t find the word insulting. Well, good for you, but that wasn’t the question. I can understand that you might want to mention that not all women are offended by the word, but you do not need to keep saying AGAIN and AGAIN that the word doesn’t bother you. Doing so is both irrelevant and obnoxious.
I think this is grossly inaccurate and misrepresentative of DDG’s position. She has explicitly stated she is using various words here as part of an adult discussion.
“a White woman throwing the “n” word around” suggests DDG is racist - or at best insensitive - which she is clearly not.
Well catsix, I congratulate you for being well above one common human emotion, that is the capacity of being offended. I wish I were, but alas, I am not. And so are other people/women, therefore I find it in good taste not to use words that GENERALLY offend people by suggesting that they belong to an inferior sub-class (inferior race or inferior gender, e.g.).
If you use a word that may be offensive, you have to know your audience well.
Many years ago, in my circle of friends, we occasionally used the word “bitch”. What we all meant and understood by that term was a sort of backbiting meanness, or else it was used as a generic expletive.
No problem, until it was said to an American girl, who proceded to go absolutlely ballastic over a term that none of the rest of us found terribly offensive. Mind you, we’re talking about friends sitting around in a bar, not a situation where a stranger screams at you “YOU BITCH!”.
The thing is, in her social scene, “bitch” was a deadly insult. In ours, it wasn’t.
Is it the word that’s offensive, or the person who uses it? Are you offended when Chris Rock uses it? Samuel L. Jackson? Rappers? There seems to be a double standard amongst some folks regarding it’s offensiveness. (Not saying you, that’s why I’m asking) In some films and stand-up routines, it’s use was synonamous with ‘friend’, ‘dude’ and ‘fellow’ when uttered by a black person. But always an outrage when uttered by a white person.
I don’t use the word either. I find it ugly. And unimaginative as an insult. I think it would better if we all decided it’s just not a word we’ll use. But that’s me.
Nobody yet has actually demonstrated that the word itself is what’s offensive or that it’s a ‘bad’ word.
All that’s been heard from those who find it offensive so far is that ‘Well it just is. Because, um, it offends ME.’ and a few people have strongly implied that all women find it to be this horrendous sting in the face. That generalization has got to go.
And directly after you chide me for continuing to point this out, Lamia, we have yet another assertion that the word ‘cunt’ “offend[s] people by suggesting that they belong to an inferior sub-class (inferior race or inferior gender, e.g.).” Fine. That’s been stated multiple times in this thread.
Nobody has yet answered how the word ‘cunt’ in and of itself is suggestive of that at all. Is anyone going to explain that?
We already know that you aren’t offended by anything catsix, therefore it is impossible to try and get across the idea that CERTAIN words, backed by CERTAIN attitudes in CERTAIN context might offend CERTAIN people. Why is cunt offensive? Because it implies that all there is to women is just their genitalia, implying therefore that it is the only thing that has value in us. In that same line SOME people are offended by words like “nigger”, “spic”, “gook”, “whigger”, et cetera. Try calling someone that in the board and see the response, after all they are just words, right. The offense isn’t in a certain combination of letters but in the meaning that society has assigned to that particular combination of letters.
The point is (yes, I have one ) that people do get offended, therefore one must tread lightly when using words that GENERALLY carry an offensive meaning. For a list of such words ask any mom, they are good at teaching us which words not to use in polite company, usually by smacking you in the head when you ask what they mean.
Spooge, the answer is yes to all the above, no double standard. I don’t use the word and the friends I run with don’t use it either. I’m in full agreement with your last paragraph.
) that people do get offended, therefore one must tread lightly when using words that GENERALLY carry an offensive meaning. For a list of such words ask any mom, they are good at teaching us which words not to use in polite company, usually by smacking you in the head when you ask what they mean.