I’m sick of this word being so taboo. I used it in front of a female friend and got bitch slapped. I asked what the problem was and she said it offended her. That’s not good enough, I need a better reason. She said it was a slang term for a part of the female genitalia. Fine, I said. But I have heard her call guys dickheads and cocks.
I will stop calling a female who pisses me off a cunt when you stop calling a male who pisses you off a dick. That is a slang term for the male genetalia. Same goes for cock.
Can you give me another reason why this word is so taboo that isn’t the result of a double standard? Or is it simply that women make the rules on what is ok and not ok…? Is this an extension of the PC idea that male bashing is permittted, female bashing is not?
There is no reason that one word is more taboo than another. It’s just the random evolution of language. If people see a word as more offensive then it is. That’s how offensiveness works.
You could go on a one man campaign to legitmize and destigmatize the word cunt.
Or you could grow the fuck up and stop using it around people who don’t want to hear it.
I’m the wrong woman to ask because I’ll use the word myself, I like the world. It doesn’t offend me to hear it said by others either… well, as long as it isn’t be screamed at me by an angry individual. There are just some times when the word “bitch” just doesn’t convey enough animosity.
If you really want to get bitch-slapped, try calling someone a “slop-legged whore”
The problem here isn’t that you used an offensive word. The problem is that you are associating with weirdos who go around physically assaulting other people because they don’t like what they say. Is your friend insane?
You worthless peice of shit, I just explained that. It’s more offensive than cock or dick because that’s how people see it. Offensiveness is a personal value judgement. Cunt is more offensive to most people than dick or cock. That’s the way it is. It’s cultural, it’s not easily changed. You can bitch and moan and try to change it or you can not be a fuckwad. Those are your options. Deal, you whiny bitch.
And you expect a logical reason (one of course that passes your test of ‘fairness’ etc.) for why some people prefer one word to another? How long have you been around here?
I’ve got two friends who’s birth certificates gives their first names as “Douglas” One prefers to be called “Douglas”, the other prefers the name “Enzo”. I wouldn’t dream of demanding of them a logical explanation as to ‘why’ they preferred one to the other.
You have a choice - you can continue to offend people you identify as ‘friends’ by specifically doing things they’ve told you are offensive to them, or not. Doesn’t matter to me.
Why not? I have two friends name Daniel. One prefers to be called Dan, the other Wade. I asked Wade why and he said because of a character he liked in the movie Road House. Sounds good enough for me. It made sense.
Now if he said, “just because”, as the answers here are to my original question, then I would think he’s weird.
Please don’t use the word shit. It’s offensive. I had a bad case of the runs last week from food poisoning and it brings back bad memories.
And isn’t the point of the BBQ Pit to whine? That’s all I see in this forum. This topic is something that’s bothered me for a while and I figured this was the best place to raise it because there are some intelligent people here, present company excluded, who might offer some insight that I’m missing.
I think the conclusion will be to show how silly it is to be offended by words in the first place. Nothing anybody says should be enough to truly offend. It’s just words my friend.
The answer isn’t just because, you idiot. The answer is that people find the word offensive because they are culturally conditioned to.
The logistics of why words are offensive would make a good GQ except it has been done several times. Basically it has to with what language base it came from and who won wars a long time ago. The word cunt is considered particularly offensive probably because it associates the afflicted person with female genitalia which is one of the more offensive things you can do in our patriarchical society. So it combines the offensive it’s like calling someone a pussy, only ruder because it is a word from a losing side’s language.
But I am 98% certain you weren’t looking for a linguistics lesson, you wanted someone to say, ‘yeah, that stupid bitch was right, you should say cunt all you want.’
And if it’s silly to get offended by words, you wouldn’t be pissed off enough by my rooms to be sarcastic at me, imply that I’m not intelligent and flame me in other threads. Words convey a person’s intention; if the intention is to offend, being offended is a natural reaction, although overriding that impulse and being obnoxiously friendly often works better.
Well, if you were actually interested in learning anything, there’s some information here and apologize for not believing you… and would point you told GQ.
Why not? well, I prefer not to be rude to folks I consider friends. But, then, that’s just me. I prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate. Can’t tell ya why. I just do.
There are some words that have been tagged by ‘society’ as being ‘not fit for polite discourse’. Expecting a ‘logical’ reason for why people feel the way they do is pretty pointless.
Yes, it’s arbitrary. Which is why looking for ‘logic’ won’t work. Again. No one will arrest you, etc for using the ‘bad’ words. However, if you insist on using them at work, for instance, don’t be surprised when you have consequences.
You have the right to say what you choose. (w/in confines of freedom of speech etc.). I have the corresponding right to think you’re a jerk if you insist on using language that’s been identified as inappropriate for the setting.
I’m not really pissed off, I just act that way because I’m in the pit. The reason I didn’t put this in GQ was because I know the word cunt offends people and wasn’t sure if it was appropriate there, so I made up the rant, which is factually based but not as extreme as first noted.
Actually your recent explanation was along the lines of what I was looking for. The only thing I’d disagree with is the word pussy. It’s doesn’t have the same meaning as cunt. I can understand offense to the use of pussy because it is used to convey weakness. Since only women have pussies then it implies that they are weak.
I also don’t understand why it’s rude or inappropriate to ask Enzo why he likes to be called that instead of Doug or Douglas. Is it because he liked the baker in The Godfather? Did he have a favorite uncle named Enzo? Does he wish he was Italian? There has to be a reason. Are you or your friends that uptight and formal?
Says the guy who needs a reason to call his friend what the friend would prefer. Sounds pretty informal to me not to question your friend about what he wants his name to be known as, as opposed to wanting a justification for it.
Personally, I don’t see why cunt would be any worse than calling a man a dick, but I also don’t think you’re going to get an answer to your question. There’s no way to tell what one person will find offensive or why. You may have to settle for “just because.”
No, we’re not uptight and formal. I guess by “questioning” we’re talking about two different things. Douglas apparently has been trying to convince folks to call him that, 'cause he’s now a professional in the financial planning world and he thinks it makes him sound more professional than ‘Doug’. Again, to me it’s no different, to him it is, I see no problem with calling him by his preferred style.
Enzo I did ask. His family calls him Bruce. One guy in East Lansing calls him Mike (gets him mixed up with an old friend of his). 2 people in the universe call him Doug or Douglas. Most call him Enzo 'cause that’s how he introduces himself. It came from when he was a DJ back in the late 60’s I guess. He just likes it better.
And that’s where I leave it. “I prefer Douglas” Ok by me. I don’t take it further, and expect an explanation of why.
I personally prefer to be addressed by my first name. When folks refer to me as Ms. or Mrs. or whatever, I say ‘just call me…’ I’d think it odd in the extreme to be asked “why?” and the only answer I’d give is “I prefer it” (when clients call me ma’am, I always tell 'em ‘I"m not quite old enough to be called ma’am, thank you, just call me…’) .
My disagreement w/you is based on the expectation that A. some one will have or be able to articulate a logical reason for their preference and B. they owe it to you to give it up even if they do.
Yeah, I’m not really too pissed about anything either. I know pussy doesn’t have the same meaning as cunt. That’s because pussy only shares one factor of offensiveness with cunt.
Words like shit and fuck come from our Anglo-Saxon roots and were replaced long ago by Latinate words, which is why they are rude and offensive.
This is a possible theory, just a shot in the dark:
Pussy summons up negative patriarchial ideas of the female. Thus, calling someone a pussy sends the message: You are ‘feminine’/weak and valueless
Cunt summons up negative patriarchial ideas of the female AS WELL AS the conqueror/conquered position. So perhaps calling someone a cunt sends the message: You are feminine/weak and valueless, and I am in a place of authority over you… which is both offensive and frightening, and carries the implication, even, of rape.
Obviously people wouldn’t know the linguistics behind it but at one time people did and then the reaction became acculturated and passed on. So the people who react that way today don’t know why they do, it’s just how the culture affects them.
then my point on there being a double standard on the social acceptence of dick/cock vs. cunt is true.
As far as the names go, I didn’t mean ‘questioning’ in the sense of ‘i won’t call you that because it’s foolish unless you can give me a solid reason’. I just meant asking the person why they prefer to be called that. That sounds very reasonable to me.
We disagree on both counts. in your first point, I don’t call it a ‘double standard’, it’s a ‘standard’. Certain words are afforded more power if you will (the N word for example, the concept of ‘them’s fightin words’ for another). The fact that the standards are arbitrary doesn’t mean that it’s a ‘double standard’. “puss” is an ok word to use in polite society, but putting that extra ‘y’ at the end makes it bad. Shit is bad, shoot is ok. just a different vowel.
The latter - why in the world should anyone be expected to explain their preference? When I order a steak in a restaurant, it’d be unthinkable for the server to question my preference. “why don’t you want sour cream on your baked potato, he asked in horror”. Geez.
I’ll give you the ‘why do you prefer Enzo when your name is Douglas Bruce’, but that’s 'cause it’s not so much looking for an explanation or defense of the preference as it is looking for a ‘how in the world did you get that one?’
Check back in the GD section for debates on why do certain people prefer the term ‘Asian’ to ‘Oriental’, for the same level of discussion. a couple folks kept on looking for an explanation, where it’s unlikely to get one.
In a discussion about the word cunt, someone feels compelled to replace the word nigger with a euphemism. That pretty much demonstrates that offensive language is an entirely personal perception. You avoid offending people simply because you wish to avoid offending people. Or, you offend people, because you are an offensive asshole.
It isn’t about sense, or rules, or linguistics.
Tris
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Jung ~
