Man, it’s even hard for me to type this without going into an anxiety attack.
The last time I went to Hawai’i, a few years ago, I had severe sinus problems on the plane. I nearly passed out during both ascent and descent on both planes I had to ride to get there. My head, I guess, was too full of snot to pressurize right, and it hurt like hell and scared me badly. Since then I have strongly hated riding planes, even though I don’t always get the dizziness (with liberal use of medications, which make me sick anyway). Despite having sobbing fits and insomnia for a week or two before any plane trip (several a year), I am still forced into riding planes to get to anyplace by my parents.
You can see where this is going.
I have a plane trip on Thursday. The plane leaves at eight in the morning and after many stopovers, gets to the destination fourteen hours later. I am very panicked about this. I did not know the flight schedule (I was shown what we were getting and it was a quick flight, with one stopover, before, coddamnit, it’s not that hard to book a flight over a month in advance!) until two days ago and since then I’ve gotten no sleep and keep getting my shirt sopping wet from tears.
And I know from experience my mother, who is accompanying me (I’m going to tour a college I know I don’t want to attend far away in Pennsylvania which my aunt works at, whom I don’t really like, and would have to live with for a few years.), will simply say, “Tough shit, you’re going,” like always, and I will go. So I really want to avoid spazzing out in the airport or on the plane, and need to know if there is any sort of…trick I could use to calm myself down a lot. I doubt I’ll be getting much sleep, but I also doubt from experience that that will dampen my panic. Should I try taking some anti-anxiety medicine? Or what? This is vastly nerve-wracking and embarrassing to me and I’ll need something to get me through this on both the away and home flights…
It seems that your fear of flying stems from the one incident that involved your sinuses. Usually people who are afraid of flying are not really afraid of flying; they’re afraid of crashing. Once they realize that airplanes almost never crash, they start to feel safer and the fear tends to starts to grow smaller. So are you afraid of flying? Or are you actually afraid that your head will explode?
Fear is a funny thing. It’s hard to get rid of it once it takes hold. How many flights have you been on where nothing bad happened? Look back on those and try to understand that despite your fears everything turned out okay. Don’t fly when you’re sick. Not only will you be miserable, but you may also infect others. If your sinuses are clogged, it’s best not to fly. If you have to fly, then find a decongestant that doesn’t adversely affect you. If your sinuses are clear, then you don’t have anything to worry about. Keep telling yourself that your head isn’t going to explode, because you took precautions.
Give flying a chance. Many people hate flying because they hate flying. Try to see the beauty of being aloft. The world is beautiful from up there. Is it dark and raining outside? There’s nothing like climbing out of the gloom (actually, I like gloom – but that’s another story) and breaking into the bright sunshine.
Take care of your body and let your mind focus on the good things about flying. See the first line in my sig.
Watch a few episodes of the A Team , BA is afraid to fly and they always devise a plan to knock him out for the flight , get on the plane take a few sleep drugs and drift off ,
I am quite aware that planes are very safe things to be in, and that my head will not explode. Heh…I used to love flying. I’ve flown many times a year for ten years now…I first loved it. Then I got bored with it. Then I was irritated with the hassle of it, then it turned into dislike and now anxiety-inducing. I really don’t know what it is about flying that I don’t like, although the whole ordeal unsettles me.
I don’t like being around people. Airports + Planes = Many People. I don’t like being off the ground. I’m very…ground-oriented. Not afraid of heights or anything, but I like ground-contact. Not the oceans, not the skies, just the ground. Particularly flat, low ground, not mountains (which I live on). Yeah, that sounds dumb, but it’s how I’ve felt for a long time. I do agree that the horrible effects of that one flight made everything spiral downhill or something else metaphorical.
Well, all the flights for the last three or four years have been Bad and Evil. Either I feel like I’m semi-passed out or I go into anxiety due to turbulence, due to the drink-people walking by, due to everything it seems. I’m kind of one of those who thinks, oh, such-and-such hasn’t happened yet, it’s due to eventually then. Eventually my plane will be bad and needing repairs, or something. And I can’t fly when I’m not sick – I do not make any of the travel arrangements, and thus when my parents buy a ticket, that’s when I go, who cares how healthy or not I am. Heck, if I’m healthy, I always pick up something when I travel anyway due to having a suppressed immune system. Oh, and yes, I have several decongestants that don’t do anything negative to me. Trouble is, they do little positive unless I take several of them (some pills a few hours before, then nasal spray before boarding, then more nasal spray and blowing my nose during takeoff), which really leaves me feeling horrible for a day or two after the flight.
And if it is every dark and raining outside when I’m boarding a plane to take off, I’m crying a lot. I hate stormy weather, windy weather, it all panics me (I never used to be this much of a dumb coward…), although it got me a free trip to Puerto Rico once (Pilot: Oh, my, there are bad storms, so we’re going to land in Puerto Rico and sit on the tarmac while storms rage around us for an hour or two, isn’t that fun?). And I get dizzy and sick if I look out the windows of planes now. Didn’t use to. Now I sit in the aisle seat if possible so I can get bonked a lot by the drink-ladies’ giant wheeled boxes.
Yeef. Even just posting this, I keep holding my breath and tensing up. Very sad. I may try hypnosis, but it’ll have to be self-applied, since I don’t trust my mother to do it (she often does visitors and herself to do “past-life readings” and junk and I don’t trust she’d leave me alone in that or other regards). However even now I’m too spazzy to sit and read anything without putting it down every two minutes to check and make sure I’m on the ground, nor can I play video games or anything else enjoyable. Just too panicky…bleh…
And I don’t think the aircraft personnel will take kindly to my mother lugging around a passed-out person and be suspicious of “Weekend at Bernie’s” (or something, I’m too tired to remember right) type madness.
Yep, get yourself a bottle of Afrin and blow those nasal passages clean, so you don’t have to worry about your head exploding.
And, um, may I make another suggestion? I don’t much like flying either, as a result of some experiences which you don’t want to know about. I’ve found that quinine is a very effective palliative–when it is delivered in the form of about a half-dozen gin and tonics.
Naturally, don’t combine decongestants with booze unless you’re interested in going bye-bye forever, but a local antihistamine like Afrin combined with lots of booze might be just the ticket. Haven’t you ever noticed how many bars there are in airports?
Perhaps you’d better wait on that recommendation until an M.D. weighs in.
It’s not just you. Air transport aircraft use recycled air. If you’re sick, you’re spreading your cold/flu/ebola to everyone on the flight. It’s your duty not to fly when you’re sick. Your parents have to understand that. But don’t “cry wolf”. If you’re sick, don’t fly. If you’re not, then go through with it.
Then how much more glorious when you climb into the sun!
It sounds as if you’re not old enough to drink, so that’s not an option. Unless you carry a bottle of Nyquil.
Do you have other issues? You mentioned not liking crowds. Maybe flying is just a convenient target? Maybe you’re not really afraid of flying at all! Really, flying is a state of mind. Same goes for just about anything in life. Go in with a good attitude, and you’ll have a good time. Go in with a negative attitude, and you’ll hate your dream person feeding you chocolate as you sit on your pile of money.
Thursday is too close to deal with your problem. You’ll just have to suck it up this time. But you can start changing your attitude. Concentrate on the good things. Think about the risks you’re not taking on the road. Think about how magical flying is.
An online friend was afraid of flying. She told me a while ago that she actually took a helicopter lesson – and loved it! This works for many people. Confront your fears directly, and they’ll turn out to be paper tigers.
The bottom line is that you cannot conquer a fear unless you want to conquer a fear. It’s not the aircraft. It’s not the sinuses. It’s not the crowd of people. You can’t do anything about them. It’s you who must change if you want to not be afraid. Your fears are your own, and only you can defeat them. You can do it! And you have a lot of people around here to help.
Definitely get some Afrin. Start taking Sudafed 12 hours before your flight, and use Afrin too. You have to get your head cleared up well so you don’t have to deal with the pain issue. I have terrible ear problems, and this is what an ENT specialist suggested to me.
My friend is afraid of flying, but flies a lot. He has devised, for himself, a number of rituals and rules that give him something to focus on. It sounds nuts, but it works. For one thing, he always leaves his bed unmade, so it’s like he’s expected back in it. He always buys a package of tic-tacs at or on the way to the airport, and he eats every tic-tac except one before boarding. Then the tic-tac container (with one tic-tac rattling in it) stays with him for the remainder of the trip. To him, these “rules” mean the plane can’t crash and things can’t go wrong.
A few other things: study the exits, study the instructions, count the seat backs to the closest exit, and envision yourself taking control and being heroic if there is a problem. You’ll have a game plan, should the worst happen (though it won’t, trust me), and better yet you won’t be imagining the gross awful helplessness of being a crisis–you’ll be imagining yourself kicking ass, taking names, and saving lives. A flight attendant friend took me up into their mock-up and had me lift out the exit door for myself, and told me some other stuff about his training. Ever since doing that, it’s easy for me to imagine myself taking over in a crisis and getting everyone out safely. Woo-hoo! Super Cranky! Sometimes I even look around at the other passengers and try to figure out who is going to be a pain in the ass (he’ll insist on taking his briefcase down the escape slide, the selfish bastard!) and who I can recruit to help me. It’s very distracting and even fun.
Take some antibacterial wipes so you can feel cleaner if the press of humanity starts to get to you.
You don’t have enough time to address all your fears before this next flight, but in the future you need to work on this. You’ll feel so much better, plus you’ll be less of a risk to other passengers. If you did a full freak-out, you’d have the flight attendants tied up in caring for you instead of doing the other aspects of their jobs.
I want to shout “Don’t go”! What’s in this for you? Fear of flying is not the big issue jumping out at me here - if you’re a day over eighteen you need to take control of your life. Who knows, if in a year or two you’re not being pushed around by your seemingly very unsympathetic parents, and free to make your own choices, you might find you like flying again. At any rate you need to find some way of gaining some control over these big decisions that affect your life.
My SO is in a similar situation to you. He gets very anxious in moving vehicles when they accelerate or decelerate he thinks it was initially because of inner ear problems, but now it is mostly psychological. He takes valium before flights, it is not very recommended as if there was an emergency on the flight you would want not to be sedated, but he takes a small amount (2mg perhaps, your doctor will know) and I don’t notice the difference in him he doesn’t seem sedated, but he says it takes the edge off, and although flying is unpleasant for him, he can do it with valium.
But I would recommend taking a fear of flying course when you have the time, the ones they do in my area simulate a flight in a fake airplane, so if you totally freak out you can leave, but it will let you experience your fears and hopefully learn to control them. AFAIK cognitive behavioural therapy (basically confronting your fears like the fear of flying course) is the most successful way to get over a phobia.
My family pulled this stuff with me for years. They would just send me a ticket without asking if I wanted to go. It took me years to stand up for myself.
IANA shrink, but I have a couple of thoughts. It is clear fromn your posts that part of the problem with flying is that it is tied with manipulation. You do not want to go, and are made to go anyway. I suspect that this has a lot to do with your aversion.
Secondly, you should learn about creative visualization and do some visualization techniques. I do these all the time when I am overcome with anxiety. Visualizing things the way you want them to be gives you a great deal of control over your reactions.
Finally, take control of your life. Plan your own trips the way YOU want to take them. I know that this is easier said than done, but trust me brother, doing so will open up a sunny new universe for you.
If all else fails, get loaded. Makes the flights fun and short.
This is called “sinus block” and it’s an unbelievable amount of pain (been there, done that). If you must fly with congestion you need a good decongestant. If you can talk to a doctor do so - there’s stronger stuff than what you get over the counter.
HOWEVER - if you don’t have congestion don’t take decongestants because they can also make you dizzy, agitated, nervous, anxious or restless - hey, didn’t you mention having problems with that, too?
To be fair, this may not be mom’s fault - the airlines are really screwing around with their schedules lately. I’ve been having a terrible problem at work making travel arrangements one day only to have them change drastically the next (arrival and departures changed by a couple hours, non-stops converting to multi-leg, etc.)
OK, there’s a couple things you can try. Only problem is, I don’t know if there’s time between now and the flight for you to get them. Still they might be useful in the future.
There are meditative/visualization techniques that can work, but it takes time to be able to do them effectively.
There are fear of flying courses, as previously mentioned - but again, you’d need more time than a day or two to do this.
You can ask your doctor for something for your anxiety, which is getting extreme here. I assume you’re a minor here, so if your parents are of the “tough it out” type they might become an obstacle.
There is something called kava kava, availble in the herbal/supplement aisle of your local stores. It can help you sleep and reduces anxiety when used as directed on the label. DO NOT MIX WITH ALCOHOL, OK? Which, if you’re a minor, shouldn’t be an issue anyway. It doesn’t make you groggy, just “takes the edge off” the anxiety.
But look on the morbid bright side - if you fly, have another attack of sinus block, and do pass out, causing an in flight emergency, diversion of the flight, great inconvenience to everyone else aboard - MAYBE your mother will finally take your problems seriously. And while you’re passed out, you won’t know you’re flying and won’t be afraid.
Things are better now. I am actually not sick on flights, but I have horrible constant allergies, so I don’t infect people (although it can be fun to make them think so). Also due to this I have decongestants that work much better than Afrin, that also don’t make me cough up blood and crap. It’s obviously very professional nasal spray stuff, because it says in big letters on the tiny thing: DO NOT SPRAY IN EYES. I’ll just do what I usually do, which works fairly well, the pills and nasal spray and bunches of tissues.
I’m also bringing a security item that I bring on all my flights and trips now, a little stuffed Snorlax doll. I squeeze him to death and he never minds, and makes a nice mini-mini-pillow for my ear in vehicles. I think this should calm me down a lot.
I am a minor, yes, and I cannot stand alcohol you can imbibe, so nothing going there. I don’t really want to control myself using substances anyway. I’d rather control the root of problems. I and my mother will find something to assist me.
My anxiety finally died down. I finally got some decent sleep last…morning. I had a wonderful dream of me flying a glider plane that had an engine (?) with Mario, Luigi and Princess Toadstool (good cod I play video games too much). Well, I crashed the plane. Stupid mountains. I managed to crash it so it was still flyable later, and none of us got hurt, so I felt good about that. The flying was actually fun, the bad part of the dream was that I crashed the plane into a truck full of radioactive stuff and everything glowed green for a while and blah blah blah. So I think that was my brain deciding I was being stupid for worrying over something I cannot control (plane crashes or something), got it out of my system, and now I’m calmer. Calm enough to take the trip at least. And…visit Three Mile Island while I’m there. Hm. I note correspondence between flying and radioactivity. Oh joy.
And Cranky, all of what you said was not only amusing but things I will try. The Tic-Tac thing (only orange-flavoured!), the checkin’ the other passengers, etc. Very nice stuff for me to do, I enjoy watching other people, sort of a hobby to learn how people act to one another and situations and stuff. I bet that on at least one flight there’ll be a screamy baby and I will be grumpy I did not accept a Scratchy Pillow™ to block my ears with.
Anyway, I’ll see what I can do after the trip. Perhaps check out another psychiatrist, see if we can figure out if it’s the stress of getting shipped around uncontrollably or what that sets me off, since I don’t ever seem to mind flying planes in dreams. Hopefully everything will go well and I can travel freely once more. Thank y’all for your help, the likkle humour bits helped relieve me enough to get some sleep (Sam Stone, I figured somebody’d say that about my thread title since I thought of it…).
So it’s not illegal for a passenger to be drunk, but it is illegal for a pilot to allow an intoxicated person on board. It seems to me there’s another FAR that prohibits a passenger from bringing and drinking his own alcohol, and that prohibits a crewmember from serving alcohol to an intoxicated person.
I suppose it depends on your definition of drunk. Admittedly, I did exaggerate - he had 4 large whiskys in the airport lounge before he went on the plane. Enough to make him go pretty much straight to sleep when he got on
Actually it depends on the crew’s impression of whether a person “appears to be intoxicated”. A person could be stone sober, but might appear to be drunk, either by design (some sort of joke) or due to some other reason, and be denied entry into the aircraft, if a crewmember decides he “appears to be drunk”. Someone could be legally drunk and be let on the aircraft if he does not appear to be intoxicated.
I am very panicked about this. I did not know the flight schedule (I was shown what we were getting and it was a quick flight, with one stopover, before, coddamnit, it’s not that hard to book a flight over a month in advance!) until two days ago and since then I’ve gotten no sleep and keep getting my shirt sopping wet from tears.