JG Wentworth.
Anything with the word “Jared” in it. Even the 12 year old girl with braces can, at last, sigh in relief that he has finally gone to Jared, how stupid can an adult male be?
My new least favorite is the animated diaper ad where a bunch of babies rate the dumps the contestants take. The hugest, most diaper filling dump rates a 10 of course. Ewwww.
Hazle, most of the MO lottery commercials annoy me, but that one is one of the most annoying in a long time. “Sir, are you going to pay for that Ranch?”
Wow. I was just about to post when I saw a new one, for a company I’ve never heard of. It starts with a couple either making out passionately or humping - I missed the first few seconds. It proceeds Memento style, going backwards, showing how their evening led them there. We see them bowling, he’s flirtatiously helping her roll, they have a few beers, finally ending with them meeting in front of the bowling alley. It’s an ad for something called Bowl-mor lanes. Slick commercial, I’m assuming it’s a chain. Very annoying.
Take that hot bitch bowling and you’ll be porking her by the end of the night!
Lots of great nominations upthread. I won’t pile on all of them, just the baby-shitting contest and the Toyota asshole blond kid. I really, really wanna smack that kid.
I’m surprised that people seem to like the State Farm “can I get a hot tub” spot. The off-key singing drives me bonkers, and I will injure myself trying to get to the remote fast enough to hit mute before I hear any.
Joe
Three jump immediately to mind:
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“Do you dream in chocolate?” Um…no. I dream, as I presume everyone does, in images, sounds, and various other sensations. But dreaming in chocolate is just gross. You might as well dream in gravy or semen.
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There’s one for a medication - I think - that mentions fibromyalgia. The middle-aged woman says “I learned that connected to our muscles are nerve endings.” Really? REALLY? I learned that shit in third grade.
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I love their pizza, but the Domino’s “focus group” commercials bug me. Especially where they’re in a room, and the woman comments that she doesn’t think that Domino’s uses real tomatoes. But then the walls pull back, and the focus group is on a tomato farm. You don’t know if they use real tomatoes? You either had to drive to the farm, or they kidnapped you and drug you there. How do you NOT know that you’re on a tomato farm? And, for that matter, what else would you use for tomato sauce except tomatoes?
I agree with the last sentence, abd I hate the ads, but don’t they establish in the ad that they were secretly brought there?
Joe
The first time I saw this I (practically) involuntarily said in a cartoon moron voice “d’uh really? I did not know that”. I think I was actaully alone at the time but I had to voice my scorn.
It’s been a year or so, and I only saw it once, but there was some commercial for some rheumatoid arthritis drug that started out with “I knew RA could be painful, but I didn’t know it could affect my joints!”
Er… you didn’t know that chronic joint inflammation could affect your joints?
(Yes, RA can affect other systems, but really…)
The guy who can’t wait until morning to eat his cereal so he boards a plane and heads to some Asian country to eat the cereal on the beach at sunrise. For as long as the trip took it would have been morning where he was and here’s the shocker! There are no laws that prevent you from eating cereal any damn time you want! Just stay home and eat the damned cereal.
Weeelll…there was a time (well into my adulthood) that I didn’t know that RA could literally deform your joints. I knew arthritis made them hurt but not that it could make your hands into knobbly, gnarly masses of twisted fingers.
Think about it logistically: In order to be secretly be brought there, they’d have to get in a car blindfolded, driven somewhere presumably several miles away in a car while still blindfolded, led into a building while still blindfolded, and THEN participating in a focus group.
Maybe it’s just my paranoia, but there’s no way that I’d sign a waiver allowing people I’d never met to blindfold me, put me in a car, and drive me to some semi-remote location while I have NO idea of where I’m going, or why, or why the blindfolds were necessary. Remember, the focus group meeting happens AFTER they get to the farm.
If someone you didn’t know asked to blindfold you and drive you to some location, and you’re not allowed to know where you’re going until you got there, would you agree to it? Not me.
She didn’t say “deform”, though, she said “affect”. If she had said “I didn’t know RA could make my hands into knobbly, gnarly masses of twisted fingers” it wouldn’t have bothered me.
Hurting is still affecting.
I don’t know about the T-Mobile ads, but I also thought that those Mac/PC commercials kind of backfired. PC was the lovable nerd and stole the show from that smarmy douchebag, Mac.
Oh, as for the OP: runner pat already addressed “turbocharger.” Sure, “turbo” as an adjective would mean “turbocharged,” but there’s definitely nothing wrong with saying “a turbo” as a noun. And a sportcross is a term being used to describe vehicles that are a cross between suv and wagon. And are uh, sporty I guess.
I believe they were having their focus group in a windowless trailer while it was moving. Presumably, they knew they were moving somewhere since it’d be hard to disguise the sensation of movement.
All that said, I would expect that everyone in the pizza game uses “real” tomatoes in some capacity or another. I’m not exactly filled with faith towards my cheap pizza joints but I can noodle out that “real” tomatoes would be cheaper and easier than devising some non-tomato chemical paste designed to taste like tomatoes.
I’ve seen two commercials recently that I hate.
One is for some sort of gizmo to prevent snoring, and begins by showing a wife who imitates the noise her husband makes when snoring. It’s really irritating. Lucky for you, I wasn’t able to find it on YouTube.
Second is this “CBS Cares” ad advising men to give their testicles a self-exam to check for cancer. There’s a creepy-looking guy in a black satin shirt who says, “Why give her a diamond when you can give her the family jewels?” It’s both horrifying and hilarious.
Dewey, that CBS PSA reminds me of this PSA about pap smears.
I haven’t read everything here, so I don’t know if it was mentioned. but that Bayer Beyaz birth control pill commercial (on youtube) is so stupidly maddening it’s like a SNL parody. Hey! when I took birth control pills, I didn’t get the Eiffel Tower or a picnic by a waterfall! All I got was a Seiko watch and an invite to go on a beer run up to Canada!
Yeah, I guess they chose the extra stupid people to be in those focus groups. Especially the ones in the “the pizzas aren’t made by humans!” ad. Wouldn’t you be able to smell the pizza being made? And how the fuck else are you going to make pizza? What would the sauce be made out of if it wasn’t tomatoes? Fake food isn’t THAT convincing.
But generally I just hate ads where they say “made with 100% REAL FOOD.” Dudes, if your food was any good, you wouldn’t have to say that. The “realness” of the food should speak for itself. Besides, if the only good thing you can say about your product is that it’s “real food,” then your product really, really isn’t very good.
I realize these companies are trying to hit the “it’s ~natural~!” angle, but criminy.
Has the creepy commercial (for AT&T) with flowering plants growing everywhere and covering cityscapes like Seattle been mentioned? The tagline is about 97% coverage, but when I see those same plants everywhere, covering buildings and highways and just everything, it makes shivers go up my back. It reminds me of invasion of the body snatchers, for some reason. That commercial is a real misfire. “Come, celebrate AT&T and their creepy uniform hegemony over all the world!”
Roddy
There a Carl’s Jr ad where it shows a chicken and the voice over guy goes, “Take a good look at this chicken. Can you find the nuggets? Neither could we.” He then mentions the hand breaded chicken tenders that Carl’s Jr sells and says that chickens don’t have nuggets.
Uhm, chickens don’t have tenders either.