Curt Schilling, former MLB pitcher, former video-game empresario, former ESPN talking head and current dank meme creator and Trump wanna-be, is talking about running for US Senate in Massachusetts, against Elizabeth Warren.
That could only go well. For some reason, I can’t stop writing campaign slogans for him.
Schilling for [Strikeout]MD, TX, PA, AZ, MA, RI,[/strikeout] MA! Really, I’m one of you!
Schilling for Massachusetts: Sure I ripped off the taxpayers of RI, but they’re just a bunch of liberal Democrats, so who cares?
Schilling for Senate: I lost less money for my investors than Trump!
Schilling '18: Hey, it was only the PawSox and BabyBruins that got screwed.
Schilling for MA: I’d steal from that heretic Roger Williams again, if I could.
Curt “Bringing the Pure back to Puritan” Schilling: Because we didn’t burn enough witches!
Don’t vote for Pedro; vote for Curt!
Schilling for Massachusetts: Look, we really don’t want people with names like Ortiz in our workplaces, do we?
Schilling for Senate: Screw Harvard and all those other stuck-up east-coast colleges, amiright?
[I put this here because he’s known for baseball and video games. Not sure where else?]