I do not believe in cursing myself. As a 17 year old, I am certainly exposed to it very frequently, but I find that it makes the user seem unsophisticated for their inability to express themselves with more intelligent words. A loud exclaimed F*** may be satisfying, but at the expense of the appearance of the user. I prefer to use words such as “jeepers”, “darn”, or “zoikes!” Well, I don’t know about “zoikes” but I figure why add to the filth already present is most language common to people my age? By the way, my father curses quite frequently, but I don’t.
sk8rixtx said, If only the world would just realize that words are words
and iampunha replied, I disagree with the notion that words are just words…Having been both physically and verbally abused and assaulted before, it’s the verbal stuff that actually hurts the most.
I have debated this topic with my mother, who was both physically and verbally abused by family members and, later, my father. I quoted Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent.” My mom firmly disagrees.
Here is my thinking: Words are just words, though their intent can certainly be harmful. But if someone tells me I am worthless, that statement only has meaning if I choose to give weight to that person’s opinion.
My mom was severely beaten down as a child and as a young woman. She had very little self-confidence and believed it when she was told that she was worthless. Yet now, away from those situations, and with an adult’s understanding of what was going on, she still believes that other people have the power to influence her opinion of herself.
Of course, in the way that these things always go, she used some of those same tactics on her own children. And for a long time, she could make us feel ugly or useless. But now, as an adult, while I admit that her words can sometimes sting (she is the queen of passive-agressive) I can step back and remind myself that she is a sad, angry woman, and that her problems are hers, not mine. I do not have to allow her to affect me. I can choose to believe in myself. (It has taken 20 years, and some therapy, to get to this point.)
So, to get this back to the OP, if someone uses a profanity or a racial slur that I find offensive, I can choose to feel hurt and belittled by it, or I can choose to decide that this person is of inferior intellect and his opinion is of no importance.