Waiter’s a dumbass and should be reprimanded and retrained. What should happen to these thin-skinned, attention seeking overdramatic women who are chewing up the airwaves today?
I sentence them to be whined about on the internet.
Airwaves are low calorie. I think they should be commended for taking responsibility for their weight and making a healthier choice.
Hm, doesn’t sound like a really expensive restaurant … however to that dude, - Not everybody has medical insurance, and visiting a PCP can be $250 to get a referral to an endocrinologist [$1000] and if you are paying full nick on a walmart type income, it ain’t happening. Same goes for gym memberships - it may only be $300 a year, but if you can’t scrounge up $300, no gym membership for you. Then there may be the cost of medication - the crap I was taking for my PCOS [another root cause of obesity in women] was $25 a month copay, and several hundred bucks a month if I didn’t have insurance to pick up the majority of the cost.
Sure, if you have medical insurance and can afford a gym, it might be easy to lose weight and keep it off, but do you know how much they make and if they have insurance? Is one of them unemployed and being treated to lunch as a present, birthdays do happen…and health problems do happen to occur where people may not be able to actually lose weight in a safe and healthy manner. Rare, but it can happen.
I do not think it means what you think it means.
Fat shouldn’t be an unsavory adjective, but let’s be real here: generally, when someone gets called fat, it isn’t used as a judgement free adjective.
Look at it this way; if a 3 year old toddles up to me and says wide eyed with a smile, “Why are you so fat? Do you have a baby in your belly?” it has a WHOLE different tone than some guy in a bar saying, “Why are you so fat? You pregnant?” One is genuinely innocent and doesn’t know the social graces in those situations— the other is trying to use it as a put down. Why is it a put down? Because in our society, thin is the default attractive standard and not fat.
Ultimately, I describe myself as fat all the time because, well, I am. Plus, I think fat people should sort of take back the word anyway-- because it should be just another adjective, like tall or short.
If I saw on my receipt what these girls saw, my response would have probably been to circle it on the bill (so they know I saw it), write something snarky (“You aren’t exactly a gem yourself, buddy” or something equally silly), then leave a zero tip. Then I’d probably shoot an email over to corporate later/ post a review on Yelp. While I personally wouldn’t be terribly bothered emotionally by such a statement, I know plenty of folks who would. And for that reason, management needs to know what idiocy their servers are putting out there.
Ooh, are we misquoting droll nerd movies now? Count me in:
“'tis just a mesh spoon!”
Hmm, I wonder how women with PCOS in third world countries manage to maintain enough weight to garner an insult by a careless waiter.
Seriously, the discussion about how the women became overweight and what they were doing in a greasy restaurant isn’t relevant to this thread. The issue is one of either manners or discrimination depending on who’s talking, but fat blame isn’t happening here. No one said they deserved to be insulted. We’re just wondering why they took offense this far.
Diosa, I know you and sandra_nz have a right to handle it in anyway you see fit, I just can’t understand why you want to go this route. It sounds like even more of a hassle and it doesn’t net the best results (in my opinion, of course).
I believe in taking words back, I don’t flinch at the word ‘fat’, I love to laugh, and am very hard to offend. Very hard. So, I don’t see myself getting all worked up over something like this happening to me at all.
But! There is a system in place, in this society that works perfectly for these kinds of things! You get free stuff! I would tip as usual, (I ALWAYS tip. ), go to the server, let him know I saw the comment, explain that the meal being on the house will be fine in making me happy. If he refused, I would say it to the manager. If the manager refused, I would contact the general manager or regional manager, or owner, or whomever understood that they don’t want to have to fire anyone or end up on the news. Usually the manager is the one who understands that.
No fuss, no muss. I understand being cool about being fat, and laughing things off, and all that, I’m with you. But why not ask for your meal to be comped? It’s part of the game.
I’m a member of the MOL Fanclub. What does that make me?
Maybe so, but why in the world would you “reward” the very person that insulted you (the server) with a tip and then turn around and “punish” an innocent party (the restaurant owner) with a demand for free food to compensate for the server’s offensive comment?
Because I don’t consider a tip an award, I consider a tip wages. The server doesn’t make enough to live. If I have a bad day or do a bad job on a project at work, they don’t dock my pay for that. I don’t believe in that.
It is ultimately the manager’s job to manage the place. If he can’t manage to keep fat comments off my receipt, then he needs to do something to make me happy. If he can’t do that, he loses a customer and picks up some bad word of mouth. That’s not how the game is played, and he should know that. If he doesn’t know that, some news attention, the owner coming in pissed, firings of waiters happening…all of that can be the cost. Much smarter to comp the meal. A manager worth his salt knows that.
ETA: Oh, and also, black tipper’s guilt.
The restaurant owners is not an innocent party. They hired him to be there. I tend to hold companies responsible for their employees actions at work.
OK taskmgr.exe…you’re Sacha Baron Cohen, right? No?? Am I on candid camera?
I wonder how much all the extra food cost that make them this obese?
It’s true that while they did hold “windows are for looking, not assassinating” training, the schoolbook depository was lax about not holding remedial training for the low-scorers.
If I found out that the restaurant owner, after sharing in some hearty guffaws about the portly patrons and their hurt feelings then gave the ever-so-witty & droll server (“Fatties–Haw Haw Haw”) a nice big raise while simultaneously ordering Janet (the hottie 22 year-old receptionist) to sexually service him between lunch & dinner shifts as a reward for his amusing banter, then yeah, I would agree that the owner is indeed partially responsible for the hostile environment.
If not, I would tend to blame the actual offender himself, not his employer, and so would 99.9% of all non-brain damaged people assessing the situation.
It’s a note to himself. So unless you want to weigh in on the concept of the thought police it’s his way of keeping track of stuff.
Now it’s a bad thing to do if there is a chance others see it but that’s a different issue. Then the server should be more creative like putting down GM and hope it triggers the memory “big 3 automaker”.
Waiter: needs more common sense…but meh. Would skinny, middle-aged, dressed all in blue, blonde, black, etc, raise the same ire?
Fat: is not a perjorative if you think terms like “fat acceptance” are OK to exist in the public domain. Fat is a perfectly succinct adjective. If you’re fat, you’re fat…it’s in the OED and other dictionaries, for shit’s sake.
- Having much or too much fat or flesh; plump or obese.
- Full of fat or oil; greasy.
- Abounding in desirable elements.
- Fertile or productive; rich: “It was a fine, green, fat landscape” (Robert Louis Stevenson).
- Having an abundance or amplitude; well-stocked: a fat larder.
If you are fat, but yet somehow get torqued about the word “fat” (is “Fluffy” OK? “Ample”? “Cuddly”? “Substantial”? I am running out of adjectives here…) Help me out.
Then what the freak should people call you as a general descriptor? I have gray hair, am about 5’6", brown eyes, skinny, am white, wear whatever I’m wearing, have a few tattoos…
So a waitperson decides to jot down one of the above descriptors. Fine! Skinny, tats, gray hair, sloppy sweats, white, brown eyes…any of these would be fine by me because they’re all true.
So, if you’re skinny, you’re skinny, if you’re white you’re white, if you’re black you’re black, if you’re fat you’re fat…so what? You are what you are; either own it or…go on a reality show and cry about it, I guess.
I totally do not get the angst here.
Why do I get the feeling you don’t place me in that .1 percent.
It seems like you don’t understand what a manager’s position really is.