last week my son came home from kindergarden and said:
him: mom, george washington was the first presedent, right?
me: yes, very good kid, glad they’re teaching you something at school!.
a few minutes later:
him: mom, george bush is the president now, right?
me: very good again!
a little later:
him: mom, could i grow up to be president one day?
me: well, if you study hard and that’s what you want you can do anything you want.
him: but mom, [look of disappointment] my name’s not george.
me: well, i never thought of that son. you don’t have to be named george.
he really thought it was a requirement!
aren’t kids cute? any other cute comments/realizations to add?
My son, at 4 years old, asked his dad where he was before he was in my tummy. So dad, softy that he is, told him “my heart”. Awww.
4 year olds are pretty literal in their thinking I guess because the little guy told me “When I’m a husband but not a dad I’m going to have a fat heart.”
My daughter was around 5 and said “Mother, look at my toes. My toes are dirty. You should wash my toes. A good mother would wash her children’s toes.” She was so serious!
One year at Easter, I got up early and made the kids bacon and eggs. My six year old choked on a piece of bacon, and wouldn’t finish eating after that.
By the time we got to my parents for Easter dinner, he was starving.
He looked at the great big ham and asked my mom
“Grandma? What’s kind of animal is that?”
She told him that ham came from a pig.
He said
" No thank you… I can’t eat that. I already choked on some pig today."
We bought a big bag of Halloween M&Ms recently and DH and LilSnoopy (age 3) ate the majority of them. DH finished them off one night while she was in bed.
The next morning she wanted to know where they were. We told her that they went in Daddy’s tummy and they were all gone.
Her: “Did you poop them!!!”
DH: “Well, yeah.”
Her: “THAT’S JUST RUDE DADDY!!!”
A couple of weeks later she is still bitching about it: “Daddy pooped my M&Ms!!! How rude!!!”
My cute little 3-yo daughter has the soul of a 20-yo frat boy, I swear. She produces these poops–serious logs we’re talking here–and then brags in delight, “My poops are enormous! They’re huge!”
Also, the other day, she brought me a little doll body and head which had become detached from one another. She announced “This doll is not entertaining me.”
Got a history lesson from my 6-year-old (1st grade) son yesterday:
Miniflesh - “Daddy, do you know how the Indians died out?”
Me (who works at an Indian-owned casino) leans over interested - “No, son, why don’t you tell me?”
Miniflesh - “They had guns and bows and arrows but they didn’t use them because they were nice.”
Me - “Really?”
Miniflesh - “Yeah. The cowboys were mean and killed them all. Like this.” and he demonstrates with a little blue plastic Indian falling over after being “shot” by a little orange plastic cowboy.
Oof.