I have nice hair and it used to be quite long. My ex husband used to threaten to do this to me. He would say don’t fall asleep or I’ll cut all your hair off. He never did but it was a nasty thing to threaten.
As far as your daughter goes I think what happens in the bar should stay in the bar. If you get drunk in a bar you need to accept the consequences of any number of bad things that can happen to you. I had a chair broken over my head once. I didn’t blame the bar for the bar fight. Drunk people make bad choices.
I don’t think being drunk makes you responsible for other people’s actions. Man, that’s a bizarre thing to say. Don’t blame the bar, no, but blame the person who attacked you! Unless you were filming a scene for a spaghetti western.
(The OP was talking about their friend, btw, not their daughter, but I can see how my post might have confused you).
People use “I was drunk” as an excuse. Plenty of people are very well-behaved when drunk, and if you know you get a little wild when drunk then it’s your own damned fault for drinking in the first place.
Susan is kinda crazy, and that was an awful thing to do.
I would be so freaking pissed off that I would probably consider suing her, if not seeing if I could get her slammed for some form of battery.
And NO hair does not always ‘just grow back’. When I was young, I had hair to my knees, now it snaps off at about just below shoulder length no matter how well I take care of it and try to get it longer. Health issues change between youth and adulthood that can prevent hair from ever attaining great length and density. The hair folicles change with the hormone cocktail in the body, so she may never get that foot of hair ‘back’.
It was an incredibly hostile act. If I were Jen, I wouldn’t have anything to do with Susan again. If Susan had been drunk and woke up the next morning upset, contrite, and very apologetic, I might reconsider. But the fact that she hasn’t even apologized tells me she knows exactly what she did and meant to send the underlying message. She’s got a screw loose, I think.
Cutting someone else’s hair without their permission is never okay. I’d be furious, and would make it known that I was not acknowledging their presence ever again in the best case scenario. In the worst case scenario, I’d be pressing charges or suing over it.
That’s kind of bizarre. It sounds like something out of Prohibition–don’t go near a bar or something outlandish might happen–and it’s all YOUR own fault.
I would be absolutely livid if I were Jen. Even if Susan were the most apologetic person ever to walk the earth, which she quite clearly isn’t, though that text might have been meant as an embarrassed apology. If I were Jen, I’d not talk to her again, probably ever, certainly for a long, long time.
And Susan needs to get help, professional help - that’s not a normal thing to do to anyone, particularly someone who’s supposedly your friend, no matter how drunk you are. If you get that out of control when you drink then you need to a) not drink and b) work out some of your issues, because for sure you have some. Hair is part of a person; it’s worse than damaging someone’s clothes, which would already be crossing a line as far as most people are concerned; those at least are replaceable. I’m appalled on Jen’s behalf, and I don’t know any of these people!
I disagree with this. I think Jen should absolutely have Susan pay for the repair and that Jen should absolutely never speak to her again except to say “get away from me, you filthy bitch.” Susan should pay for the damage she caused. She should not get a pass on that. But apology notwithstanding, Jen should still never have anything further to do with her ever again, as well. IMHO.
Joining the chorus here: there really need to be legal consequences for that. Altering someone’s appearance (possibly permanently, as noted in an earlier post, but definitely for years) without permission? Cash and/or jail time. At the very least, Jen should not speak to that crazy woman again, and you probably should consider the same policy, Audrey. That bitch is crazy.
It was a nasty vindictive attack. if someone did something like that to me, I would never speak to them again, nor return their texts, nor accept any money from them. That’s it, end of friendship.
While I agree Susan shouldn’t have done it, it is just hair. Jen choosing to taking legal action would be far worse than the action that provoked that response.
Had I been Jen, Susan would have looked real silly with those scissors stuck someplace in her flesh a few seconds later.
IOW, Susan was totally out of line. Somebody neither the OP nor Jen should have any reason to ever associate with again. Unless they like dealing with weird passive / psuedo-aggressive behavior.
Technically, in the US, it’s battery. Assault is threat (“I’m gonna cut off your hair if you don’t stop complaining about your split ends!”) and battery is touching another person without consent. According to the legal section of my nursing textbooks, anyhow.
I have to agree with all of the above. Absolutely inexcusable, and I say that as a person who’s pretty “Eh, it’ll grow back,” about hair in general. “It’ll grow back,” is a reasonable justification for cutting your OWN hair, or a cold consolation for someone who got their hair cut and it didn’t turn out the way they like, but it’s absolutely not an excuse for cutting someone else’s hair without their express permission.
Bones will heal, too. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to break someone’s leg.
I would strongly consider banning her from the bar. Either she’s a fucking bitch, in which case, why keep her around, or she’s an unstable drunk, in which case, why keep her around?
For women apparently it isn’t “just hair”, but even if it was, I’d refer you to WhyNot’s response. If someone broke your leg, and it would heal up just fine, would you be saying “it’s just a leg”? Hair can be an integral part of your persona, self-image and the way you choose to project yourself. I’m not sure being a guy is that relevant, though. Not long ago we had a thread about someone not wanting to accept a job that required him to cut his hair. It’s not “just hair” to a lot of people, not only women.
Also why shouldn’t she take legal action? What the person did is classed as a crime. It is not OK to assault (in the UK) or (apparently in the US) batter someone.
Yes, it’s just hair, but the issue isn’t the hair. The issue is that Susan does not respect other people, or their boundaries. Jen’s hair is part of how she presents herself to the world. Susan had no right to alter Jen’s appearance in any way, unless Jen had specifically asked her to. Susan needs to face the consequences of her actions. If one of those consequences is Jen shouting “Get AWAY from me you crazy BITCH” every time Susan gets within 10 feet of her, she’ll just have to live with the humilation.
Hell, I am very much a person who is able to say “the hair will grow back” when I’m contemplating getting a short cut. But the thing is, it’s MY hair, and MY decision. Even if I want my split ends trimmed, I don’t want some half-drunk bimbo in a bar deciding she’ll do the job for me.