Dads United Against Father's Day

The BBQ Pit
1

I know you’re out there, in the millions. Lets just say it here, say it loud and say anonymously so they can’t hear us: Fuck Father’s Day.

It was crap from the git-go, and everybody knows it. Mother’s Day, sure, makes sense. Not to take away from Mother’s Day at all, they deserve it, God bless 'em. And they like that sort of shit, Lord knows why, its like catnip, heroin, or compliments. And sure, why the hell not, make a little fuss over them.

But Father’s Day is an afterthought, and an afterbirth. If we really rated on the same scale, it wouldn’t have been tacked on later, it wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb or a really ugly tie. That you gotta wear. (Now, me personally, nobody would give a tie to, but I’ve seen some ugly melonfarmers, and sense, deep down in the place where all Dads are One…the horror, the horror.)

Almost all Dads shy away from Father’s Day, our intellects, honed and sharpened with testosterone, will not abide such nonsense. Willingly. But they turn those big round emotional headlamps on us, like a puppy offering a saliva-sodden tennis ball and begging you to play. So you put on your best face, you try to remember how your own Dad did it, and then you realize how badly he faked it, and you are determined you will not fail! You will beam with the joy of emotional fulfillment or die trying. (Note to self: check statistics of men admitted to emergency rooms with internal hemorrhages on Father’s Day…)

Stop. Just stop. Call and ask for money, sure. A card. Don’t buy us things you think we want, or worse, think we *should *want. We don’t, and we won’t. When we say “Don’t make a big deal about it”, we mean it. We aren’t kidding, we are not covering up some deep emotional need. We don’t have them. A hug, maybe. An occasional hug. Once in a while.

Of course, there are exceptions, but if they want it, they’ll find a way to let you know. Usually some subtle, nuanced thing like “I want that.” And that’s cool, not every man has the same set of needs. Besides, you likely wouldn’t interrupt the game with them, they’re looking at swatches. So, cool.

Anyway, here is your thread and forum, fellow Dads, soldiers of the automobile, the lawn and the spider. Get it off your chest, they’ll never know.

2

You know, I think you’re right. My own Dad used to tell me not to make a big deal out of it, and since my own birthday fell on or around Father’s Day, I used to tell him, “Okay, if you won’t make a big deal about my birthday,” and he wouldn’t and I’d be just fine. And now all I want on this weekend from my own kids is a phone call, and they even get a twofer. But beyond that, I really don’t care.

3

I’d rather just do something fun that my kids want to do than be praised just for doing what I’m supposed to do. I’m not unappreciated or anything.

4

Honestly, I feel the same way about Mother’s Day. I’ve only been able to tolerate the pair by thinking of Mother’s Day as the secular Beltane, and Father’s Day as the secular Summer Solstice. I console myself with the personal delusion that the Energies of these two days are just so darn strong that even nonpagans feel the need to celebrate them somehow. :wink:

5

Killjoy.

6

I’ve never celebrated either one because both my parents thought they were stupid holidays. As a kid in school we had to make stuff for M’s day and F’s day, but my parents certainly never expected anything from me, and never gave anything to each other.

7

Sweetheart, is that you?

Maybe good start would be reserving the day for your father? Not your husband, your brothers, your sons, your nephews, your brothers-in-law, the family cat …

Not a bad approach for Mother’s Day, either (except in the case of pregnant women, of course).

8

I really enjoyed Father’s Day this year. My little girl made me little things and they’re cute and awesome. It’s just one more of life’s little joys.

9

Relevant Father’s Day documentary.

10

“enjoyed”??

Did you jump the gun a bit? This isn’t a Boxing Day thing, is it? Father’s Day is on Sunday in Canada too, right?

11

Boy, got me there. I could probably quit smoking if I didn’t want to be sure to have a lit cigarette in my hand if I come upon a happy kid with a baloon.

12

Well, that makes sense, at least. There’s always the chance, no matter how small, that the next one will be filled with hydrogen instead of helium…

13

Father’s Day usually happens about 9 months before Mother’s Day.

:smiley:

14

Wow, that’s never happened to me, even once! Must be different in California, huh?

15

Hey, hey, hey!

For Father’s Day I got a new lawn mower, new gas BBQ grill and plan on spending the entire day in my garage working on my car and drinking beer.

Don’t be pissing into the wind. Have a nice Father’s Day. :D:D

16

Actually Father’s Day gifts and the chance I might need a kidney one day are the only reasons I ever seriously considered having kids.

17

If I knew where my sperm doner was, I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire. If my stepdad ever shows up in my life again, I’ll kill him in cold blood, drop his body down a well shaft and walk away without ever thinking twice. (well, I would think twice about keeping the gun, so I’d have to clean it carefully, then toss the parts into different well shafts)

18

flatlined, be more considerate of others. There’s no sense poisoning a well just to get revenge.

Feed the carcass to pigs, that way it’ll at least be useful. You don’t even need a gun, just duct tape and toss him in the pen.

19

Entertaining OP, elicidator, but I cannot get on board.

I likes my FD just fine.
mmm

20

I demand tribute!