I’m sorry to hear that this holiday makes you upset.
My father was a great person, but he died a long time ago, so Father’s Day doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.
Still, I don’t feel bad about others celebrating it. I learned shortly after my dad’s death that it wasn’t realistic to expect that everyone who still has a dad should keep quiet about it.
Sure, the greeting card companies want people to buy cards, but people don’t have to buy anything from Hallmark to celebrate the holiday if they don’t want to. My boyfriend is celebrating by taking his dad to a movie later. I’m sure there are other ways to celebrate that are even less commercial than that if people want to avoid the crass commercialization angle.
Given the rainy and cloudy weather in Wichita lately, I’m offended that you insist on shoving your Sun Day upon me! When will we stop letting calendars tell us what day to celebrate?!
Seriously though, yeah, I feel ya about some of these holidays, especially Valentines Day (AKA “Singles Awareness Day”), though I would figure that Father’s Day would be one of the milder such holidays to deal with.
The fact that some people don’t have fathers, or that some fathers suck, is no reason not to celebrate the fathers that don’t suck. IMO, Father’s Day (and Mother’s Day) are not the same as Valentine’s Day, since being a parent requires rather more work than simply finding someone willing to put up with your ass.
FTR, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (whether I’m single or coupled), but I don’t begrudge it to anyone. The only “holiday” I get worked up about is Secretary’s Day. Please don’t get me started on the condescension inherent in *that *“appreciation”.
Call it whatever you like, it’s insulting. Do we have Lawyers Day? Accountants Day? No, because we assume that our lawyers and accountants are both professionally fulfilled and fairly compensated. Not like the poor, exploited Administrative Professionals, who are practically the modern day martyrs of our white-collar culture.*
*I am an Executive Assistant. I am professionally fulfilled, fairly compensated, and treated with the respect I deserve *every *day. I don’t need no stinkin’ flowers.
I get along well with both parents and I hate the concept. They already have birthdays for celebrations of them as individuals; why do we need a special day to celebrate their category? Plus, I’m never getting a turn, so I’m bitter. Where is the Gay Son’s Day? (My cat did give me a present this morning: I suppose a hairball was his equivalent of burnt pancakes and spilled orange juice, but I would rather have had an ugly tie.)
The hardest part, IMO, is picking out a card. The cliches on the cards are beyond bearable! Not EVERY damn father fishes, golfs, burns things on the BBQ, sleeps in a recliner, has a big slobbery dog, or is a Big Football Fan. That’s what all dads do, according to the card companies. Either that or the cards are loaded with glurge - “to the greatest father in the history of the universe, thank you dad I love you to bits”. (Same with Mothers Day.) There are untold millions of us out here who have sucky parents, but not so bad that we don’t want to send a card wishing them a happy holiday. I either look for a blank card and write a brief note signed with love from S. or I make my own card, featuring a funny photo of a pet, or an item of special interest to the parent. Really, at $2.95 and up - way up - Hallmark can kiss my ass.
I hate holidays in general. I am a misanthropic, traditionalist hating prune…
…
Well, yes, that was an exaggeration, officer.
I generally find a corner and hide in during all the holiday flippin’ cheer. “Oh, it is a time for family…” really, and the other 364 days are a time for what exactly? Ignoring the helium out of them? (And don’t get me started on leap years…)
Whenever my sister Andrea and I exchange cards of any sort, we tend to scribble out what is said and say something insulting instead. That is how we show each other we care, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. I tend to write my initials instead of my actual name, as an aside…
“Singles Awareness Day” - Whoever posted that made me laugh. Only because it is so true.
My friends in college were also fond of referring to the holiday as “VD”
Really though, it’s not all bad, but my favorite holiday is Discount Chocolates Day (the day AFTER Valentine’s Day).
On a related note, an ex girlfriend of mine is a Russian Orthodox Christian, and she happily points out that Christmas shopping is super cheap for her because their equivalent to Christmas isn’t until early January.
Father’s Day beats the shit out of Christmas for a knock-out in round 1. My young daughters just drew me some pictures and my 6 year old is a very talented artist and had a drawing made into a gorgeous mug. I just spent extra time focusing on them and they did the same with me. Don’t get me started on Mother’s Day though. It is supposedly the busiest restaurant day of the year. Bunch of attention whore, lazy entitled, bitches I say. That’s not what it is all about. None of this can touch Halloween for the top spot however if you have young kids.
Not all dads, maybe, but my late dad fit most of the cliches.
Golf? Check.
Burned things on the BBQ? He could go head-to-head with Ed Crankshaft any given Sunday - until he stopped using charcoal and switched to propane.
Slept in a recliner? Check.
Has a big slobbery dog? I almost bought him a card one year that said, “Happy Father’s Day from the dog. Brandon really loves you. Of course, he also loves barking at air and drinking out of the toilet, so I guess there’s no accounting for taste.”
Big football fan? If having big posters of John Elway and Terrell Davis on the wall of the TV room counts, then yeah, he was.
I loved him and would give anything to see him dozing in the recliner today. He’s been gone 5 1/2 years now. He didn’t mind the schlock and neither did I. We both understood the sentiment behind it.
I used to feel like the OP does; appreciation for one’s mother/father/SO should be something you express every day, not just once a year.
Then I realized that while it should be something I express every day, I frequently don’t. It becomes so easy to take those relationships for granted that it’s good to have a day on the calendar to focus on them.
I still hate the commercialization, and the way it can sometimes become an obligation rather than a celebration. (I’ve known women whose expectations for Valentine’s Day were so high and specific that their men could only really screw it up.) But that’s a problem of execution more than the concept.
My father’s day was ok. I tried to avoid stepping into too many piles.
To itemize:
My boyfriend who is my son’s “Dad” (not biologically but he’s been around and doing the job for two years) misses his own father. And his biological father, who he has never found, although he tried some years back, but did find his own Bio Mom…Boyfriend has also been told to stay out of his bio-daughter’s life…
My mom is missing her dad, who passed away within the last year. My dad is missing his mom, who was mom dad and the whole nine yards to him…(war widow, raised my dad by herself).
My son was happy…but he’s five and asking questions about Dads and kids and recently found out that the man in his baby book is his “bi-logicicle father” (Couldn’t have put it better myself kid) and why doesn’t he want to see me?
So while Im fine, I think Lenny C. put it well… seems like everybody’s wounded. Or near someone who is. (What the heck does the rest of the song mean anyway?)
I agree with you. My mother guilts me into calling everyone in the family on every relevant holiday, including birthdays - not just of my immediate family but even my grandparents and uncles and cousins. It’s a god damn year-round gauntlet.
I had a fantastic Father’s Day. Lots of fun. Last week I celebrated it with my Dad, since he was in town, and today was my day. Had a great time.
My daughter brought home little Father’s Day presents from her nursery school. One was a golf ball sitting atop some grass they’d grown in a Dixie cup. It’s fabulous. It’s sitting in my office right now. I golf once a year and I love it.
