(Composed after a Memorial Day Weekend of watching Warner Brothers cartoons and the indy film Donny Darko)
Daffy Duck wakes up in the middle of the road, overlooking pristine mountain scene. The “morning” section of Rossini’s “William Tell Overture”, as arranged by Carl Stalling, plays in the background.
Daffy: Oh, brother. I must’ve been walking in my sleep again.
Daffy walks back home, gets into bed. Pulls covers over head. A moment later a 747 engine crashes through his ceiling and onto his bed. Daffy emerges, blackened but otherwise unfazed, cartoon-style, except that his beak is now facing backwards. He re-aligns his beak and expresses his outrage.
Daffy: All right! I demand to know who’s responsible for this!
A ghostly sdhimmering figure of a rabbit appears. It’s Bugs Bunny, munching nonchalantly on a carrot.
Bugs: Ehhh, what’s up, Duck?
Daffy: (appealing) What’s going on? I mean, can’t we just live, and let live? Hmmm?
Bugs: (deliberately sounding mysterious) Yo’ woild is goin’ to end in twenty eight days, six hours, and (consults watch) twelve seconds. (munches on carrot) Bye, now!
That night. Daffy is asleep in his crunched-up bed (the engine is still there). Suddenly he gets up and begins sleepwalking in the classic style – eyes closed, both arms extended forward, Frankenstein-style, except the hands are flopping downwards at the wrists. He goes to the local High School. Bugs is there, holding a sledgehammer, which he hands to the somnambulist duck.
Daffy: (apparently awake now) Can I do this? Is this OK?
Bugs: Of course, doc, you’re dreaming.
Daffy takes the sledgehammer and hits the ugly statue of a Bulldog on the head. It immediately opens its eyes and glares at Daffy. It’s Spike, the mean bulldog from a dozen Warner Brothers cartoons. Daffy does a take and exits, follwed by Spike. Noises off.
The next night. Daffy is in bed. Again, he sleepwalks, this time to the home of con man Elmer Fudd. The walls are covered with paintings of Elmer (wearing patently obvious wigs on his head) and copies of his book: “I’m OK, You’re Alwight”. Bugs is there with a can of gasoline and a box of matches.
Bugs: Heah you go, Doc. Just remember – you can only do this trick once!
Bugs vanishes. Daffy pours out the gasoline and lights the match. Instantly there is a burst of flame, but the only thing affected is Daffy, who is fried to a crisp. His beak is open, framing his face, Kwaikiutl-mask fashion.
The next night. Daffy is asleep. He starts to get up, sleepwalk-fashion again, but another 747 engine falls through his roof onto him. He emerges, stars circling round his head, and goes over to a calendar on the wall, which has 27 days crossed off, including the last of the month. He tears off the calendar page, revealing a fresh month underneath. It is the 28th day. The entire page of the calendar reads “Duck Season Opens”. Daffy only has time to look , annoyed, out at the audience before he is hit with a barrage of duckshot.
