Dairy Wars - A Milky Morning Post

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

You don’t mix different types of milk. Be it either two different brands, or two different viscosities, milk stays in it’s original container until it’s used.

So this means, also, that if you’re down at the bottom of the container, you use it all up. It’s the same legal principle that was determined in Brady v. Brady, when Peter got his ass whooped by his sisters when he left one last swallow of orange juice in the carton. They, rightly, as eventually ruled the Supreme Court, that:

if there is less than one serving (8 oz) of orange juice remaining, the person who has taken that last full serving must empty the container.

It’s really very simple, and it’s the right thing to. But not at the Factfortress, I guess. There, civil war is immenent.

I went into the fridge at approx 2:37 A.M. Saturday. As is my habit, I wake up n the middle of the night for a snack. This time it was cookies, and what is a plate of cookies without milk? I wouldn’t know, because I never had a plate of cookies without milk.

So I grab the opened container of milk, a 1 quart container, only to discover that there is exactly 17 mm of milk in it. 17 mm!!! So I opened the new gallon of milk that I picked up from the store on my way home from milk.

It is now Monday morning. The quart container is still in there, still holding its less-than-a-serving amount, and I was severely disciplined Saturday afternoon for not finishing off the old container (which, it should be known, wasn’t my legal nor moral responsibility to do so) before opening the new. So, to bring peace to the household, I poured the old milk mixed with some new milk, and now all of you should be buying stock of the manufacturer of Imodium.

Anybody know who represented the Brady sisters in that case? I need a good lawyer here.

2

In Live on the Sunset Strip, Richard Pryor attributed severe burns to his face and scalp to mixing skim milk with whole milk. He might have been joking, but I’m still careful about that.

3

I’m enjoying a milk-free breakfast right now, because I’m off to the gym, then to get a nice massage, then to play golf in the expected 95+degree heat. Milk just sounds like a bad idea, even just 17 ml (is that what you meant?). It’s cinnamon/raisin toast, a 'nanner and water for me. So mix to your heart’s content my friend!

4

Good morning! I only cook with milk. Cooking milk doesn’t care if it’s mixed with old and new. So tell the prosecutors to use it mixed with scrambled eggs or something - they didn’t want you to waste it, did they?

It was a slow-moving weekend for me. Hubby finished his project of putting paving stones around the edges of the house and patio, where it was gooshy and weedy and skeeter-y. It looks great! Saturday night we went and ate Eye-talian food. Mmm - I had seafood linguine with shrimp and scallops and clams.

Yesterday was a normal Sunday - laundry and grocery-ing. We had pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon and cooked on the grill last night.

Happy Monday, everyone!

(And Happy Birthday, Swampy! Sorry I missed it!)

5

I don’t buy milk any more, because I’m an untrustworthy idiot who shouldn’t be allowed into a supermarket alone.

See, what happens is that I’ll be strolling along picking up The Stuff Designated On The List, and Only The Stuff Designated On The List, and I’ll come to the dairy isle. Then I’ll say, “Hmmm. I could really go for a big, tall, cold glass of milk right about now.” and I’ll buy a half gallon. Knowing full well that I will be Wrong, because milk is not to be found among The Stuff Designated On The List.

Then I’ll get home, drink a big, tall, cold, glass of milk, and immediately thereafter lose all interest in drinking any more milk for at least a month. So the remaining milk sits in the refrigerator slowly turning into really bad cheese. This is Waste, and I am Wrong for causing it.

So I just don’t buy milk.

6

Thanks for the bday wishes Rebo. Two days later and I still don’t feel like I’m a day over 51. Although I might be 129 before the day is over. More on that in a bit.

Great OP Sean. Especially for a straight middle aged white guy. :smiley: Old milk should be used up before new milk is opened. That’s a rule I grew up with and still abide by. I might run with scissors and not wait thirty minutes after eating before swimming, but the milk rule got firmly implanted in my brain.

Today is the first day I am without a manager for my shop. Until I hire a new one that is. This means that all the shop manager type stuff is stuff for me to do on top of all my other stuff, so I am going to age rapidly. I have before me a form that needs to be filled out and faxed and I have no idea what the dang thing means. I’ll figure it out. Or, just fill it out and hope for the best. I also have orders for some weird stuff we produce that, even though I know what the stuff is, why the stuff is and all that, I don’t have to deal with the stuff directly, so some way some how I have to deal with shipping the weird stuff. This is why I will be 129 before the day is over.

Oh, and our receptionsist has been with us for 25 years, so at 4 P.M. today, we are having a “surprise” reception for her. I get cake and punch out of the deal, so YAY!

7

I buy milk, even though I don’t use it all. I frequently have two or three half empty expired pints in my fridge. Some of it is North Carolina tradition. When it snow/flurries/looks like it might snow, everyone rushes to the grocery store to buy bread and milk. I think the though process is “Even though I I have 20 years of canned good, pasta, and rice and beans in the house, if I don’t have bread and milk, we will have a Donner party by 3:00.” I threw an unopened pint of milk out yesterday. The date on it was June 4th, and it was starting to inflate to volleyball size. :eek: Well, off to pay rent and go to the dog park while it is still cool outside(85).

8

Shocking! Just Shocking! You opened a new milk and left an older container in the fridge? For shame! :wink: Mr. Anachi cannot be broken of this bad habit. I have learned to live with it. He’s got too many other redeeming qualities. Such as:

I’ve been talking about how I’d like to put up a badminton net in the back yard and do a little running around chasing shuttlecocks :smiley: after work for some added exercise. So Friday the UPS guy rang the bell and Mr. Anachi brought in the package what contained a brand new badminton set. :slight_smile:

Also new this weekend is puggy tried out a tanning bed. Yep. A shop close to home is having a special 10 for $10. Such a deal. I go again on Wednesday and I think I’m gonna get funky and go nekit. :eek:

swampy, how was your birfday since I missed it? Any special presents?

Tupug

9

When I said 17mm, I meant that the height of the milk in the old container was that. I can’t judge volumes, just height. And I had something handy that is known to be 17 mm in length to compare it to.

And when I said “immenent”, I really meant “imminent.” (Still doesn’t look like a real word, though.)

10

I even read this and didn’t realize this was the MMP. I have given up my morning coffee (or am trying to anyway) so I’m not quite awake yet.

Yes, you heard that right. I have decided I will give up my morning coffee. When two things happen in my life I will go back to it. :slight_smile:
Other than that, milk. Yes, we had sweet rolls this weekend and had about 17 mm of milk left. So I gave him the milk, I am not so picky that I must have milk with my rolls. I had coffee instead.

Speaking of which, we’ve been chugging down the iced coffee at home. Yes, iced coffee goes bad in a couple of days but honestly it hasn’t been around long enough.

Been a very stressful weekend, what with apartment hunting. Man I will feel so much better once we have a place lined up for September. We have a couple of credit checks to go through. I hate those, they delay things by a week or 10 days when just a few years back you could just get approved based on your salary. Now we have to wait and wait. But we are looking into private rentals, too, we rather like that idea.

Keep your fingers crossed, everyone.

11

I forgot to say happy birthday to swampy. I will take whatever punishment you feel I deserve. I am very sorry. :frowning:

I’m also very tired and whatever the hell is wrong with my wrists has progressed to the point where typing at all (not to mention driving) has become a trial. It’s going to be a fun day.

So, rather than torture myself (and you) with trying to describe my whole weekend, I’ll leave it at the highlights–I got to see my beautiful pseudo-grand-niece (who currently has an IV outlet or whatever sticking out of her scalp, which is unnerving), I got sunburned (but less than usual), I got to watch my ex-boyfriend propose (to somebody else, of course), and then I discovered yet again that Connecticut hates me.

Happy Monday, everybody.

12

So basically, Mr. Anachi’s redeeming qualities include being able to answer the door, and carrying things?

Puggy, you need to have a talk with welbywife. She see these things as “routine” and expects me to do other stuff, like take out trash. Mr. Anachi’s got it EASY.

Ex, you and I are in the same boat with the milk thing. I think I just forget about it once my immediate craving is satisfied.
Hey Swampy. You’re old.
:smiley:

13

Theoretically Mr. Lissar has a medium-sized list of chores, and he’s always the one who opens doors and lifts things. Mr. Lissar and Attacks Husband have combined forces to make me forget how to open doors. Actually, now that I think about it, Lazy Husband opens doors, too, although he doesn’t rush ahead comically to do it.

We live in Canada, where milk is sold in bags, and have only one milk-bag-holder, so whoever wants more milk has to finish the old stuff off.

Morning, everybody.

14

Oh, and I should point he is always the one that leaves the last little bit in the milk, juice, whatever cartons.

15

Oh, and I should point he is always the one that leaves the last little bit in the milk, juice, whatever cartons.

16

Drae no worries. The bd thing is over rated at best. Though since I am a summer baby a weekend bday meant hanging out at the pool drinking beer. Then again, since I have a pool, that’s pretty much an every weekend deal. This time it was different cause my sister, bil and a couple friends from da old hometown were here.

Puggy I got some cash, a couple gift cards, a couple tshirts, a bottle of white wine shaped like a fish (I wonder if it had been a bottle of red wine, would it have been shaped like a cow. That’d be uberjake!) a bunch of cards and a cake. Overall, I’d say, some pretty good swag.

I figured out what to do with that thing I had to fill out and fax. I think. Anyways, it got filled out and faxed.

Now, I get to fuss with TPTB out at ye olde home office about some stuff they haven’t given to me that’s preventing me from finishing a couple of reports that need to be finished. I’m looking forward to that cause like I said yesterday, it’s all their fault, so I can’t be in trouble. I like that.

:: Hit welby over the head with my cane on the way out ::

17

Perhaps I did not make myself clear. See, he just heard me talking about it and took it upon hisself to order and pay for the game and surprise me wif it. It not being my birfday or anniverary or nuttin. :slight_smile:

And he has his “duties” have no fear. :wink:

18

Milk. Blah, pooey! I drink soy milk.

I am so annoyed I can’t think of anything else. I went to the Internet Movie Database to confirm that it is indeed Orson Wells in The Long Hot Summer. There I am reading along and the page JUMPS to this ad! For some stupid movie apparently about free speech. There’s a guy in a mask, talking about There’s Something Terribly Wrong With this Country. I don’t know what else he says because I keep hitting the BACK button – and the page keeps changing. You can’t shut it off. I am livid. Livid, I tell you. I rarely get worked up about anything and I’m about to come through the computer and shoot the IMDB people (as if this were possible).

Anyway: Grr.

Good News: My sunny happy little toddler is back! All the crabing and crying and poor-little-pitiful thing has stopped and he’s his happy little self again! Poor baby. It’s so nice to have Happy Boy back.

19

I’m having roommate problems ::sigh::, and I don’t know how you go about kicking a roommate out.

Backstory ::wavy flashback lines::

Roommate and I were best friends throughout junior high and high school. We come to college. He joins a fraternity sophomore year. (he’s now going into his junior year). Anagramless Guy (Have I really been calling him that the entire time? I actually mean Acronymless Guy, but now I guess I have to stick to my guns and claim that his name is unrearrangable to anything else, which is untrue.) and I are living with him in a rented house, and another one of my best friends from high school (who is unfraternitied) is moving down in a couple of weeks. We have been here about two months total.

So, it turns out that Roommate has terrible cleaning habits. As in, he doesn’t clean. We discussed this with him, and the fact that he should help with yard work as well, and he expressed nonchalant agreeance to both.

Two weeks later, and many remindings, the front lawn is still not Weed Whacked.

Also, AG went out of town this last week (on Tues). When he left, Roommate had just had a bunch of people over the night before, and trashed the kitchen, but he said that he would clean it. Fine, whatever. Fast-forward to Friday, where there are people over again, and the kitchen becomes worse. We now have an ant infestation. Roommate keeps thinking of clever ways to solve problems, like the spilled drink that night sopped up with towels that were thrown on top of the washer for two days, spawning another family of ants. And the uneaten pizza, instead of throwing it away, moving it to the other corner of the porch and hoping no one would notice.

Regardless, I go to work at 10 Saturday morning, come home at seven, and there are already people in my house drinking, and the kitchen looks terrible. I tell him that AG is returning at 2 or 3 on Sunday (a lie, it’s closer to 7 or 8), and that the house situation should be fixed. (This was repeated in text-message form for redundancy, but he knew all week that he was coming back on Sunday.)

I get home from work at 7, and Roommate and Frat buddy who has crashed on our couch for the last three days and needs to start paying rent and utilities are gone. I clean up, and put the three bags of trash (THREE!) that I collect from around the house and porch inside his room to give him a hint of what kind of mess he left. I also clean up the two glasses that have been broken in the last two days, which he made no offer to replace (This is in addition to the other one that he somehow lost), and then AG comes home, I greet him very excitedly for an hour or so, and we clean up and take the 30 minute trip to go get sushi. We walk in the door right before midnight, and the two other people (Roommate and FBWHCOOCFTLTDANTSPRAU) are still not home.

Wake up this morning, (trash day) and the 3 bags of trash are sitting outside of mine and AG’s door. Instead of taking the easy route and putting them on the back porch, which is where we store our trash until pickup day, or just putting it out on the curb to be picked up, he put it there.

So, basically, the dilemma is: how do you kick a roommate out? (He’s about 5’ 9" and 120 pounds, so the logical solution is to get AG and hoist Roommate over our shoulder, but I’m looking for something less violent.)

Oh, and Sean, we currently have 17mm of milk in two separate jugs in our fridge. David was gone and I drink soymilk, so I leave to figure out how happened as an exercise for the reader.

20

I’ve never tried soy milk - How, exactly do you milk a soy bean, anyway?
I have a mild lactose allergy - it only shows up if I have more than 8 oz of liquid dairy in a 24 hour period. Solid and semi solid dairy doesn;t phase me, however, so I could go thru a tub of cottage cheese in a sitting, were it not for the fact that after a few ounces the stuff starts tasting more like stryofoam peanuts than a healthful treat.
Also, oddly I imagine, the higher the fat content, the less it affects me - skim milk can do me in on only 4 oz, but a quat of half and half (some in my coffee, upwards of 4 cups a day during the week, and some on my cereal, which is rare, because I’m the type who pours more cereal onto the leftover milk, then more milk to moisten the drier cereal, and so on until both the quart container and the brightly colored cardboard box are empty, so I tend to avoid it altogether.
The nasty heat wave will hit its peak here tomorrow - with temps near 100 which, with the humidity, will feel like 115. oy.