Now we are getting into some real discussion concerning the art of drinking. Ahhhhh.
First off: Absolut and Cranberry. Now this drink would be unhip if you drank it all the time. It is however very appropriate for early in the evening (like after work). Alot of people will opt for orange juice (me too sometimes), making it a screwdriver. The screwdriver is nice, but I like to switch it up. The danger is in using BOTH. Once you mix the Cranberry and OJ, you now have a Madas which is, unfortunately, bright pink. You could be drinking a screwdriver, and people will think “He’s getting trashed tonight”, but throw 2 juices into the same amount of Vodka and all of the sudden you may as well have a shirley temple.
The absolut is for a resonable budget. If one can afford to, one should go with the Belvedere or Grey Goose, but these will begin to hit your wallet rather quickly. The absolut is the lowest brand of Vodka you can drink and still feel reasonably good the next morning. These vodka drinks lower the overall fat consumption neccesary for getting drunk when compared to beer. So an alchoholic on a diet can often be seen drinking “Red Rippers” as my bartender friends call the Vodka-Cranberry cocktail.
Now, once we get further into the evening a couple different things can happen. Beer is a choice made by many. It is possible to drink both liquor and beer in an evening, but it must be done with care. I’m sure everyone knows this rule, but just in case I’ll post it:
Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before Liquor, never sicker.
I know it sounds a little childish, but no matter how old you get, if you try to test this one you will lose. Shots are an exception. It is okay to drink beer all nite and have shots. But only if you can handle them. If your the type of cat who can’t drink tequila straight, then don’t try.
Now if you do decide to go with beer, there are many choices, obviously. Scylla, I like you, I really do. But I just can’t understand this silver bullet nonsense. Believe me, I have unfortunately had occaision to engage in days of physical labor and at the end I find the true answer to be none other than natures own Budweiser. A man does feel more like a man at the end of a hard days work when sipping a nice cold bud.
I’ve heard people drink these coor’s lites expecting to drink far too many. They claim other beers sit too heavy when you drink alot of them. If this is REALLY your problem, then a Corona is the answer. It’s lighter than most beers and comes with the oh so tasty lime. An interesting alternative to a Corona is a Presidente. Different taste, properly served with lime or lemon, and it is oh so good.
The truly finest beer ever made is a guiness, tall and simple. A beer so special it has it’s own glass type at most bars. A guiness is almost a meal however, and if you’ve got a full stomach it can be a hard choice. It also has the side effect of turning you’re crap black as nite, which can be disheartning if you’re not expecting it.
A 40 of Schlitz? Jesus christ. We used to say that schlitz was taken straight from the bathroom of a german brewery that let the employees drink all they could of the beer while working. When they urinate, the beer concentraion is so high in the urine, they just bottle it up and put the schlitz sticker on there.
But that brings up economoics again. If you are on a limited budget, 40’s can come in real handy. I like a 40 of mickeys (malt liquor), or maybe Colt .45, although my 40 OZ days are well behind me. These are definately not hip in some circumstances, but they are good for street chillin’ or house parties with a BYOB policy. Typically had by younger drinkers and crackheads.
When picking a beer you must also consider the seasons. There are summer brews, winter brews, and Octoberfest beers. A becks Octoberfest is a real treat. And a Pete’s Winter Brew is a little sweet but really tasty next to a fire on a cold winters eve. A heineken is bitter and an aquired taste, but they are good any season.
There are certain things that men should not drink in public: Cider, pink drinks, lite beers, and drinks like Kalua(sp?) and milk, or baileys and milk. While these may be tasty, you’re definately risking your cool.
We have been speaking mainly about drinking while at bars and such, but there is a different set of cool for drinks with dinner. Wine is wonderful, and it is definately a fine art to pick a proper wine. I am not so well versed in the wines, perhaps another doper could fill in these blanks. I just know how much I love a good wine when a knowledgable friend picks one out. A margarita is a ton of fun at dinner, but alot of bartenders hate to make them while they are working a busy shift at a bar becuase they take so long to make (frozen anyway). If the bar is busy perhaps you should not have a margarita, unless it is a restauraunt, and then it is expected.
In a vacation setting (vegas, islands, south beach) rum drinks are alot of fun. The color rules do not apply if you are on vacation in a warm setting. Then it is cool to get the brightest tallest, drink with all the bells and whistles and sit by a pool sipping them while trying to decide on the pool or the hot-tub.
Finally, shots: I have left out the wiskey from the above discussions because I, ashamed as I may be, cannot handle the brown liquors. Die-Hards will say real men drink bourbon or whiskey, alas they are more man than I. It takes every ounce of cool I have to not puke immediately upon tasting straight tequilla, whiskey, or bourbon. I like the Jaegermeister myself.
A middle of the road shot that seems popular is the So-Co Chilled. Easy to drink, this is a good shot for a group of people with varrying alchohol tolerences. For the timid, there are chocolate cake shots and PB&J shots, but make mine a Jaeger every time or Blackhouse if there is no Jaeger(shame shame). This is a good start, but this is much too complex and broad of an issue to be covered in a single post.
The most important thing to remember is to stay within your limits. If you get drunk to the point of losing control, you’ve lost your cool. The key is pacing. If you’re planning to be out for a long time, take those first ones nice and slow. The more you drink, and the drunker you get, the easier the drinks go down, and the drunker you get. So be careful, be cool, and tip your bartenders well. Probably the best move Karma wise is to be a good tipper.
DaLovin’Dj
