I kissed a drunk girl. I kissed a drunk girl, yes I did. I kissed a drunk girl on the lips. I let my guard down, how could I have been so dumb? Her eyes were open, I know I am not the one.
Was she a good kisser?
You don’t kiss a drunk girl; you liquor.
The last drunk girl I kissed in now my wife of 5 years.
More importantly, did you see her underwear in whole or in part? If so you must marry her. It’s the code of the hills.
Did you cop a feel?
I’m widely-known in my social circle for kissing drunk girls when I am a drunk girl, myself.
Oddly enough, I never seem to want to kiss drunk girls when I’m sober … I should get a shirt made up–WARNING: May exhibit homosexual tendencies when intoxicated.
I bet I could make some money with those.
I think you’re more likely to have drinks purchased for you. Lots and lots of drinks.
That’s an even better reason to make the shirt … 
Hell, I’d buy quite a few drinks for a girl wearing one of those. Get one and I guarantee you’ll never pay for a drink again.
*makes a mental note not to drink with *Draelin ** or we’ll have to get married, which is illegal in a dozen states
In other words: Same here!
Then we’d sober up and have to get a drive-through divorce in Reno. 
Big deal. I 've laid a drunk girl…
I kicked a boy till he cried.
Just to keep the wolves at bay, IIRC OP is jailbait (15?) and a girl.
Carry on.
Loach
Good job you.
If I’m not mistaken, the OP consists of lyrics from “I Kissed A Drunk Girl” by Something Corporate.
We were having fun with the stories, but you had to go and wreck it. 
You kissed a girl! EEEWWWWW! Cooties!
Put it to music, you’ve got a rather catchy lyric there.