My First Kegger _or_ BK's Adventure Among the Drunk Young Co-Eds

(Catchy title, I know. :slight_smile: )

My roommate Tony sponsered a party (i.e. paid for the kegs) last night. Since he was in charge of things, he invited me to come along and I could drink for free. Of course I turned him down.

I don’t much like drinking. I am also asocial. Large groups of people scare the bahjeesus out of me.

But I’m also incredibly contrarian, so when my roommate Justin started saying that I’d made the right decision, and that those kind of parties were a drag and boring and certainly never any fun, I changed my mind and went.

I’ve been to “parties” before. I’ve drunk alcohol before. I had never been to a kegger before, though. Being socially inept, I wore a suit. A nice one. (I also shaved, going against the vow I made in a previous thread. I’m such a hypocrite.)

Anyway, since I’ve taken enough of your time already, I’ll just give you a short list of things I learned last night:

Conclusion: I was so drunk I imagined the whole thing. That’s the only logical explanation.

Dear Penthouse…

I am a student at a large midwestern university…

Oh drat, I forgot that part at the beginning, followed closely by, “I never thought it would happen to me.”

But honestly, if this were made up, I could have done a whole hell of a lot better.

So where can I buy a suit?

big_yellow_kingswood, I have a couple extra I can lend you. I inherited them from a rich relative. (You don’t think I can afford a suit, do you?)

Oh, and you’re all invited to the next kegger! :smiley:

hmm…here’s my list

  1. Three beers is enough to make me happy.

  2. Four beers is enough to give me a buzz.

  3. Four beers and a shot of Goldstrike is enough to make me courageous.

  4. Four beers and EIGHT shots of Goldstrike is enough to make me dance around the living room to “Ice Ice Baby” while singing aforementioned song.

  5. 6 Beers is enough for cute guys watching me sing and dance want to help me go to the bathroom.

  6. Four beers and TEN shots of Goldstrike is enough to make me cry, dance, sing, and talk on the phone at the same time, and then make me puke, pee and cry at the same time!!

It’s true about the attractive power of a suit. I once took a guy home from a bar just because he was wearing a suit. Of course, I ended up regretting it, but that’s a story for another thread.

Suit = Sexy

Hang on to this roommate - trust me on this one…

It’s important to remember the scientific theorem posited by physicists early this century - the Heineken Uncertainty Principle, which states:

“The mere act of drinking beer in an attempt to measure your tolerance is likely to affect your impression of how many beers you’ve drunk”

Damn BK, you’re just trying to make us older types jealous. Sounds like you really had a great time. I’m getting a bit verklempt just thinking about it.

Echoing RalfCoder’s statement, hang on to this roommate!

Even though he wants to kill me?

I kinda, sorta, maybe, almost … well, I was making out with a girl he really really really liked.

But I think you’re right. He’s a pretty cool guy all in all. :slight_smile:

That’s hilarious! Thanks for sharing that gem of wisdom. :slight_smile:


It’s already been said repeatedly, but keep this roommate. He’ll annoy you a few times, wake you up went you want to be asleep, liquid laugh on your stuff, etc., but the benefits will be worth putting up with some crap for.


I was going to ridicule you for this, but then I read the rest of your post. Never mind. I’m sorry about all the really funny insults I almost hurled your way.


Lucky bastard.


There’s a really funny male chauvanist pig joke nested in here somewhere, but I just can’t find it. What’s wrong with me? I’m broken…

Guess I could have saved you some time by letting you know earlier that house parties are where it’s at, at least around here. When presented with options, always choose the house party.


Don’t say that unless you mean it, I live in the same town as you. At 29, I’d either be the incredibly desirable mature male, or else the really creepy old guy. I’m not sure I want to find out which it is…

No need to be sorry! Indeed, if they were really funny, go ahead and tell them.

Hey, I smiled and asked politely. I mean, next thing you’ll be saying is that they should be able to vote! Crazy talk, absolute rubbish.

(Joking! I’m joking! Don’t hurt me!)

Y’know, I’d completely forgotten that you live in Duluth. I, personally, would have absolutely no problem with another Doper showing up at a party, no matter how old or creepy. But then, it’s never my party. Next time my roommate sponsers a kegger, I’ll ask if he’d mind if you show up.

We could use someone who’s actually over 21. :smiley:

Heeeyyy… Duluth is only a couple of hours away … and I look pretty sharp in a suit … and I wouldn’t mind a few drunk young co-eds sitting on my lap cooing happily …

Dear Penthouse Forum, indeed.

No no no! The suit is my idea! Only I can wear one to a kegger! I never should have told you people about that. :wink:

P.S. Where do ya live that’s only a couple of hours away?

Steal it with my blessings - I did!!!

Better yet, print it up nice and pretty, and post it in the Physics building. (You are in school dere in Duluth, eh?) :smiley:

Gee, I wonder which one of us is going to the klink if the party gets busted. Still, a chance that might be worth taking.

BK, you a UMD student? I’m going to make that assumption based on your mention of LISP (Colburn?) in the “Who’s a programmer?” thread, until I hear otherwise.

You assume correctly, except that the class I’m learning a version of LISP in is “Artificial Intelligence”, taught by Chris Prince.

(And since this is MPSIMS, and I have no qualms about hijacking my own thread, I just gotta say that the textbook for that class in great. It even includes an excerpt from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”! Textbooks just don’t get any better than that.)

I had Colburn last semester for a class, though. (Have you read his book, “Philosophy and Computer Science”? It’s quite good! I bought it in the hopes of him happening to see me reading it and, well, you know. I little brown-nosing never hurts. :smiley: )

Anyway, yeah, I’m a student at UMD, struggling through classes that I probably should have thought twice about taking, and still getting used to living away from home for the first time.

*Originally posted by BlackKnight *

Here’s a little LISP pointer for you. If you ever get stuck on a program and just can’t quite get it to work, try going out and drinking a whole crapload of beer and whop. It’s not normally a good thing when your eyes are open and the room is spinning, but when this happens you’re ready for LISP. You’ll be amazed how easy it becomes. Or maybe this only works for me. I woke up in the morning thinking it must have been a dream, but my final project (which had been defeating me for a good two weeks) actually worked!

Does it say the Black Knight always triumphs? Because that would be cool. For you.

Way easier to kiss ass than actually study. I didn’t know he had written a book. Probably either a) he hadn’t done it when I was there, or b) I was asleep when he told us about it. I had Colburn for a whole year, five days a week, from 8:00 until 10:00. Every day, he’d shut off the lights and crank up the overhead for the whole two hours. It made me want to kill myself.

Did you go to high school in town?

There. Now the hi-jacking of your thread is complete.

This would explain why I finally finished my homework after a couple of Coronas and a few lagers. Maybe it’s just easier to think recursively when non-sober. Thanks for the tip! (Any excuse to drink a whole crapload of beer is a good excuse, IMHO.)

Nope. It’s the witch scene. It’s used an example of fallacious “logical” reasoning. You’re right though, “The BlackKnight always triumphs!” would be great.

The copyright date is 2000, so he probably just hadn’t written it yet.

We had to read the last two chapters because we were tested on them on the final. (He didn’t make us buy the book. He provided the two chapters online, but still it’s shameless self-promotion.)

That’s why I always brought a book. Colburn’s class is where I got through most of “Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid”, and “Guns, Germs, and Steel”. I figured I might as well learn something while in class. :wink:

Nope. I’m from southern Minnesota (Albert Lea, to be exact). Lived there my whole life until I enrolled at UMD. For my senior year at highschool and then the year after, I went to a crappy little community college in Austin, MN (Riverland Community College). That got most of the general lib-ed junk out of the way, so I can focus on my major here at UMD.

I chose Duluth mainly because I heard they had a decent computer science program, and because a large number of people I know were already here. It’s also about as far as I can get from my parents while still being in the state.

[emperor voice]Take your pointless topic, post it here and your journey towards the hi-jack will be complete![/emperor voice] :wink:

Penthouse Forum? This another message board?

A place for the affluent to voice thier grievences?