Dammit, just drive the nail!

The BBQ Pit
1

I don’t know if my next door neighbors (not sure if it’s upstairs or to the left) just fucking moved in, or if they’re just redecorating. All I’ve heard all afternoon (one exception noted below) is …

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap

DRIVE THE FUCKING NAIL INTO THE WALL ALREADY!

We’re all tired of it. The people below me came up to ask if I could stop it. I told them I’d love to, but it’s not me. Of course, you did have to stop for your fucking afternoon nap or whatever, since it was quiet from, oh, 3-4. Oh, and you could have been done by now if you didn’t take 10 minute breaks ever 20 minutes.
Just fucking finish and be done with it, ok?

2

Wow, sorry. We were just in the middle of woodpecker training. We’re making tremendous progress; just this afternoon, he pecked out a lovely Chippendale armoire.

3

If you hear “tap, tap tap, tap, tap,” the guy doesn’t even know how to use a hammer properly.

What you should hear is " tap, tap, (maybe) tap, BANG.

Tell him to either stop completely, or consult someone who actually knows what he’s doing.

Or apply some correction with a hammer yourself, eh?

4

I know, I know. That was the most annoying thing. But they’ve stopped…hopefully for the night. Let’s see if they start up again at 7 AM

5

Isn’t that Bugs Bunny testing for duds wiht his hammer in the munitions plant?

6

I would bet money the person is gripping the hammer all the way up near the head.

Which, of course, completely defeats the purpose of having a handle on the damn thing. I mean, why not just grasp a flattened rock in your hand, doofus?

7

Lsura,
there are no people in the next apartment. I am in there installing cameras and mircophones. (Smile your on Osip TV)

I apologize for the noise. But, it is required. Yousee, you have a wonderful glow about you when your furious. That and getting you to jump out of bed half dressed sells subscriptions.

Have a nice day, and remember… There is nothing wrong walking around the apartment in Panties :slight_smile:

8

Maybe they wanted to, but they don’t have a flattened rock handy…?

9

Good thing I’m not at home then, eh? :stuck_out_tongue:

10

Very good, now I can go in and um… nevermind.

Also, I am not responsible for any articles of clothing missing or placed on ebay for sale.:stuck_out_tongue:

11

Just make it look ransacked, ok, Osip? I mean, if I’m going to put up with the spying, I might as well get some insurance money out of it.

12

I think I can swing that… Insurance money means more sexy things for you to wear Somthing like the black silk Pjs you were wearing last night.

13

I’ve done a touch of carpentry in my day, and I’ve never heard a hammer go “(maybe)”.

14

I have.

When I was younger, we had a little shed that was originally for fowl of some sort. It wasn’t used for that any more, so we used it as a sort of playhouse. I was making some sort of modification involving a hammer and pounding in a nail.

It wasn’t perceptible to me at the time, but the hammer was definitely thinking. “Hmmm…”, thought the hammer, “what would be the best way to ruin this fine summer afternoon for my young wielder?”

I, not hearing that part of the monologue, merrily went on my hammering way.

“Tap, tap,” went the hammer on the nail.

“Maybe…”, said the hammer, very very quietly. I ignored it, thinking it was just the nice summer breeze.

“Bang!” went the hammer on my thumbnail.

“That’s an interesting color of purple,” I said. That was, of course, after I said the “OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!” part.

When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a missing finger nail.

15

I can relate to this. My new neighbor, by my reckoning, must have ~50 pictures on the wall by now.