Dammit! Leave Shaggy and Racer X Alone!

It happens about once a week. I’ll come into work, sit down at my desk and notice that Shaggy has a runny nose. Yes, thats right. Shaggy from Scooby Doo. I have an action figure on my desk. Now, how can a non-biological piece of plastic produce mucus? Well, it can’t. A co-worker puts some lip-goo compound on Shaggy’s nose. The first few times, I calmly wiped Shaggy’s nose. Then next few times I asked the molester to stop messing with things on my desk. The next few times I yelled at the perp. In the end, I just took Shaggy home. This is pretty sad that I can’t have stuff on my desk with out someone putting makeup on it. I’d never mess with stuff on someone else’s desk. But obviously I don’t command enough respect to deserve the same courtesy.

I come in today and catch the perp giving Racer X a runny nose. Now, you just shouldn’t mess with my Racer X action figure. Shaggy is a fool, a nincompoop, an idiot. But Racer X. . . well you just shouldn’t mess with Racer X. So I wacked the bastard’s head and yelled at him. I guess tonight I’ll have to bring Racer X home.

I know this whole thing probably sounds pretty funny, but it really pisses me off. I wouldn’t mind if he was playing with the action figures, but he is desecrating them. Plus, I don’t know what is in that crap and how it will mess with my toys. Now, because he can’t keep his mitts to himself, I have to take home all my cool stuff. No more pokemon, no more Leggo ninjas, no more Racer X. sigh Bastard.

Nothing to add really, except that:


Not that I’m really into action figures or anything, but that’s just rude. If they’re on your desk then nobody else has the right to play with them. Or desecrate them. Whatever.

I would speak to his boss. Messing with stuff on your desk? What’s next? Going through your drawers???

I’m considering that. His boss is out of town for another week or so. The other supervisor seems to think it’s really funny. “I don’t think she wants you to do that. . Ha HAAAA!”

Definitely take it to his supervisor, racerx.
Anyone touches my Herbert Hoover action figure, I’ll kick their ass.

My only action figure on my desk is a Beanie Baby - Mooch the Monkey.

Actually, I had two action figures for a while. I have a facehugger from the Aliens movies that is the exact size to cover the monkey’s face and wrap its tail around the monkey’s neck and torso. Surprisingly, it took me a while to realize this.

I now have a stuffed monkey with a facehugger on its skull, the eight legs wrapped tightly around the little stuffed head, and the prehensile tail wrapped tightly around the monkey’s chest. (Sadly, it’s too big to fit around its neck.)

This has caused moral outrage among some employees. To them, I say, “Better Mooch the Monkey than you.”

Ahhhh. The bastard is trying to make amends. He is trying to give me a peace offering of girl scout Thin Mints and slightly squooshed mini-muffins. Don’t worry, I’ll stand strong. I’ll have none of your blood thin mints!

LNO, first the snuggling rant and now a beanie baby? It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to view you as a boiling inferno of rage.

But they’re Thin Mints! You’re stronger than I am!

I loooooove Thin Mints!

But the beanie baby is being attacked by a facehugger! The alien embryo is being implanted in the monkey’s chest! It’ll burst out in an orgy of blood and teeth and claws and the munching and the hurting oy HEY LADY …

Well, I guess I am pretty tame. But still … Thin Mints! Clearly the cookie of the devil, and the Girl Scouts are the legion of the damned.

racerx, are you in IT/technology/software development? More to the point, is he? Because if he is, my guess is that he’s got a crush on you. Trust me; I’ve spent my adult life around computer programmers, and annoying the hell out of some one, then offering them thin mints…that’s definitely part of the geek flirting ritual.

I’m not suggesting this excuses his behaviour, just trying to give you some insight. Threaten bodily harm and you should be okay.

Funny you should mention this bashere because he does work in IT stuff. I considered that he might “like” me, but he has a wife and 2 kids. I dunno, this is a small office so we are all pretty good friends. I did thwap his head and he has been whining about my violent outburst all day. Wimp.

Off the topic, my current boy works in web stuff and thats how he first got me. Messing with my screen saver and wallpaper. It freaked me out but eventually I found it charming.

Is it the one with the PimpBoy Slitted Skirt and Matching Fuck Me, I’m a G-Man Pumps?, or the more rare and collectible ** Tie Me Up And Investigate Me Thoroughly** figurine?

Me, I’ve got both but the PimpBoy one is a little stained :smiley:


Please, please, pleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeeease tell me these really exist.

'Cause if they don’t, they damn well should. I want one!


You’re thinking of “The J. is for ‘Just Fabulous’” Edgar Hoover. Herbert was the president who let the economy go all to hell.

Still my favorite president, tho’. Fave first lady too. I daresay we’ll never see another pair of Geologists in the White House.


Myron M. Meyer
The Man Who

Well, not to belittle what is, I think we can all agree, shitty treatment by both fucknut and your supervisor, but Thin Mints? I’d step over my grandmother’s twitching body to get to a box of Thin Mints. I were you, I’d accept his peace offering, and then, when you’re done with the cookies, plan your revenge.

damn it, i know i was the only doper who saw the title of this thread and thought at first it was about the freakin reggae-rapper Shaggy - the “it wasn’t me” guy.

i so need to get out of radio, it is warping my brain.

sorry - carry on . . .

Hell, I thought she was talkin’ 'bout her boobs!

Ha ha!

Really, like I would talk about my breasts in a public place. . .I’m shocked at the thought. . .

Sorry to disappoint, but so did I. :smiley: