Damn Canadian Geese

I work at an AFB. It is home to a million of these poop factories. They often congregate around roads and sidewalks.

I jog around the base during lunchtime on most days. Friday was no different. While jogging between an old hangar and a grass field, I saw a goose standing on the asphalt near the field. I was about 15 feet away from the goose when it started honking at me. I’ve had this happen numerous times in the past, so I didn’t think anything of it - I ignored it and kept jogging.

But this time it was different. The goose started running toward me. I ran faster, but it kept getting closer and closer. Once it got about three feet from me, it flapped its wings and flew right toward my head. :eek: I ducked. It flew just over my head and landed in front of me. I yelled at it and kept running. It once again flapped its wings and flew right toward my head. This time I didn’t duck soon enough, and it WHACKED the side of my head with its right wing. :mad:

I was a bit disoriented after that. But I just kept running. It didn’t follow me after that.

I was very tempted to go back and wring its neck.

Canada geese are the evil spawn. The only time I have ever been crapped on by a bird, it couldn’t have been a sparrow or something small. No, it had to be a friggin’ goose. I was on a golf course and thought I had been hit by a golf ball. That happened 21 years ago and I still get razzed about it.

In your case I would bet there were some eggs or little evil spawn nearby.

But their little goslings are so cute. I some swimming with their parents yesterday in the creek near my house.

But yeah, they can be mean. I had one hiss at me once, and it looked like it was about to charge. Not that that would be too threatening, but still. I guess they’re like pretty women who are not very nice people when you get to know them.

Here in Indiana, at least the part I live in,we are allowed to destroy their nests :slight_smile: They’re considered pests.

And yes, they are evil.

Is *Canada *Geese correct? I’ve always called them *Canadian *Geese. It doesn’t matter, because now I’m going to start calling them Shit Factories Who Must Die.

Yeah, it’s Canada Geese.

There were three cute little goslings by the Bronx River yesterday, and I stopped to look. Momma opened her beak wide and hissed at me when I got too close. She flapped her wings and hissed as a bike went by. Paranoid jerks, they ruin a LOT of lawns and parks around here.

Canada Goose is the correct name.

On my first visit to Canada:

“Wow, you guys have Canada Geese here, too!.. Oooh. Right. That’s why they’re called… Yeah. Never mind.”

I suppose I expected North American wildlife to be a bit more exotic. Luckily, Canadians are far too polite to point out when you’re being extremely stupid.

Yeah these fuckers are the assholes of the bird world. My dad has to go to war with them each Spring because they always build a nest on his boat.

You can add their smaller cousin the barnacle goose to the list of villains.

Canada Geese are big and I’m glad I’ve never been harassed by one.

But it’s worse in a way to get on the bad side of crows. One time I was walking around town and got dive-bombed by a crow (dunno why, didn’t see a nest around.)

Researchers have found that crows not only remember human faces better than humans do crows, but also can communicate amongst themselves which humans are “dangerous”.

And so it is with me. Somewhat closer to my apartment there is a traffic light pole, and when I passed by it a couple months ago I got dived bombed again, this is several miles from the other incident.

Just yesterday I passed by again and got divebombed again, and the crow hovered about five feet in front of me before I waved my shirt at it. The traffic pole is nowhere near a nest, so coincidentally, those crows either don’t like my looks, or the same crow that swooped on me before has moved, or the two crows were both there when they saw me the second time and they told each other I was dangerous.

Magpies are bloody horrible things who send a number for medical treatment every year. They have been known to snap their beaks off when they swoop and hit the target. Back in the 1800’s some distant relative of mine died after being pecked by a swooping magpie- probably tetanus.

Ever had a swan chase you? Especially in nesting season? Mean bastards, they are. Beautiful but mean. And they are also impressive crap factories. Though cygnets are so damn cute they’re worth it.

Swanee… How I love you…

I have seen what a pack of Aberdeen seagulls can do to a shining new blue rental car if they are left alone with it for an hour.

I hate the things. When we bought our house in a new subdivision five years ago, the sales lady was talking to another couple in the sales office. She mentioned that the lots backing up to the retention ponds carried a $5000 - $10,000 premium. The wife wanted it really bad. The husband was considering it.

I turned to my wife, and in a voice loud enough for them to hear said “$10,00 for my backyard to become a goose toilet? No thanks.”

They bought a lot four doors down from us, far from the ponds. We’re buddies now, and even his wife thanks me - they walk their dogs past the ponds, and the pond-view homes, so now they see the masses of goose crap EVERYWHERE on those people’s yards.

The place I worked in NJ had a pond, and so we were infested by the bastards. Then one of them decided to nest in the circle leading up to the front door. Since they are protected, and since the wife of our General Manager was very into them, we were forced to go into the side. Finally the mate of this demented goose saw his reflection in a window and smashed his head attacking the evil goose he saw, and was taken away.

The town I live in now hires border collies to chase the geese away from the lake in our park.

Some of them might be. Some others would just bust a gut laughing. Not saying which I would be… :smiley:

Butbutbut, they are so tasty ! (Canadian here, they are not protected up here… so there :p)

Canadians are tasty?