Three weeks ago, I had the classic flu. Started Thursday, had a fever and the sore joints with aches by Friday, still the same Saturday, fever broke by Sunday, could have worked Monday but took the day off anyway. Not too bad, went as expected, would have liked to take less time off work (I work weekends), but was able to be gung-ho and energetic when I did go back.
Fast forward three weeks. I get some horrible nasal congestion on Wednesday - sinus pressure and sneezing. By Thursday morning I’ve developed a really bad sore throat that acetaminophen seemed to help. I’m still thinking it’s just a really bad cold, because I already had the flu, right? Then came another fever. That’s my marker for not just a cold. Friday I get an email that maybe the branch where I was supposed to work that afternoon might not need me as volume was really low that day. Great, I email back, because I still feel crappy. At noon on Friday I vomit. It was gross and amazing. I have to share - It wasn’t just the normal sick puke. I vomited up everything that I had ingested 18-24 hours before! I didn’t even know that was possible. It was incredible. No wonder my tummy hadn’t felt so good.
*And to add to the “cats is weird” theories that go around this board - my dumbass cat Chico thought that was I was doing in the bathroom was fascinating. He already has a hangup about the toilet and loves to watch it flush, not to mention him trying to grab toilet paper out of my hand when I’m trying to wipe sometimes. Well, he had never seen me puke before. “Hey! Waddaya doin? Why ya kneelin’ in front of the terlet? Hey what’s that? That’s not poop! What’ll it do if I swat at it? Oh, it’s wet! Now I have to shake it off my paw, ew, ew, Oh, you’re flushing it now, I have to watch!” *as he jumps onto the seat where his paws get wet again and he manages to somehow leap away from the seat while still trying to swat at the swirling and disappearing contents of the bowl. Stupid cat.
I had to jump into the shower. I had managed to mostly hit the toilet with the vomit, but there had been - splashing (not to mention the cat). I was in there with the steam for 30 minutes and felt a little better. It helped my sinuses. I don’t even know how to describe what came out of each nostril when I blew my nose after the shower. Mucous plugs? Huge, kleenex-filling, brown and green goobers. I’ve never before produced anything quite like it. So much easier to breathe afterward!
So now it’s Saturday. I feel a little better. The sore throat’s gone. The fever’s gone. I’ve held down some oatmeal. I’m scheduled for work at 7pm. I managed to get there. I felt a little worse once I got to the treatment room floor. I thought I’d tell the manager on duty that if it was slow I’d like to go home early if possible since I was still recovering from yet another flu, but I didn’t want to call in sick because I just did that the whole weekend three weeks ago. She had none of it. Sent me home immediately.
Here I am. Still pretty stuffed up in the head, with a wheeze and a cough, but otherwise better and with the night off work. Where else to go but the Dope where I can share my amazing snot and vomit story since I can’t tell it at work? Tomorrow’s another day…