In my system, it’d be an invite with the standard Mr. and Mrs. name on the envelope, but a notice somewhere inside specifying that two seats would be reserved for them upon receipt of their RSVP.
Because even really simple people can go… “Can we take Kelly? Oh… no, it says TWO seats…”
And some of them will have the husband saying ‘Oh since I don’t really know your girlfriend who’s getting married, you should take Kelly and have a good time.’ (And some of them will be the reverse of that with the wife telling the husband to take the boy and have fun.)
Of course. Until we’re all telepathic, no communication will be perfect. I theorize, however, that the number of people who are encouraged to bring a child in place of a spouse because of the wording of my version of the invitation will be fewer than the number of couples that will bring children who were not on the invitation.
At the very least, you won’t have to pay for more dinners or chairs than you originally anticipated.
And I’ve had another thought on Wedding clarity. Is it cost-prohibitive to do custom reply cards? Just get some local print shop to print them up? Basically, list the folks invited with a checkbox next to their name. At the top of the card, put “These people will attend (check any that apply)” … okay, so obviously it doesn’t have the fancy-schmancy tone one expects from these things, but some better wordsmith than I can shape it.
You’d still have people inadvertantly bring kids, but I submit that the tiny fraction of a thought required to decide which checkboxes to check will inspire many to go… “Hey… wait… I wonder if the kids can come?” so that they’ll call for clarification.
[QUOTE
“Oh, that’s right… Jonathan’s not telepathic and has no capability to predict there is a no-child policy at the wedding… perhaps it would be courteous to let them know.”
[/QUOTE]
Oh my GOD! I was going to read all the way through the rest of the thread but I just have to reply to this immediately. Sorry for the (implied) language but F**K that! Why should they have to spell it out? If you are an invited guest to someone elses’s party/ celebration/ home/ wedding/ whatever, you do not assume anything. That’s the whole point of invitations. The event is a private one - not public, and only people who are named and explicitly invited may attend. If they wanted to invite your kids they would have put it on the invitation - hence the name. You shouldn’t have to explicitly disinvite someone. God I have never assumed I or my SO was invited to anything unless I was told so.
Weddings are very expensive and also very important events for couples and any invitee should feel privileged to be invited and either accept or decline in a gracious manner.
Also if a couple don’t want children at their wedding (which is possibly a very good idea I think) then the rule must be enforced across the board (or within whatever restrictions they have - like ‘kids of immediate family can come but we can’t afford to feed/ accommodate any more children than this’ etc.).
I would never dream of being so rude as to go against the wishes of my host and hostess and impose my uninvited entourage on them. You would put them in such a difficult position. What if their sister says ‘well I can’t bring their own nieces and nephews but their friend gets to bring their kid?’. Surely you can only imagine the hurt feelings and offense being taken left, right and centre and the bride and groom in the middle of it all trying to enjoy the most special day of their lives. The day is about the bride and groom for God’s sake - not you. You can either put up or shut up as they say.
Neither would I. Read the rest of the thread.
My “telepathic” quip was to point out the absurdity of the bride and groom assuming a person won’t bring children just because the children’s names aren’t on the invitation … not necessarily because they are willfully flaunting the rule of etiquette, but because they are unaware of it.
“Please note that children are not invited unless explicitly included.”
Or, at least, that (or something along those lines) is the way I’ll do it should I find myself marrying someone in the future :).
:smack: I shoulda thoughtta that.
It’s really very simple.
You put the names of the people you want to come on the invite.
With that cost I’m guessing there is a return card with their menu choice of beef or chicken. People who get two cards will know they don’t have a card for their kid to make a choice. You follow up with a PHONE CALL to the people and bring up that either you have made a babysitting arrangement for them or that they will need to arrange that.
When they get to the wedding and see the other kids, they may well be miffed. But that is there will be no way out of that.
so, the couple who has a child but the envelope only identifies the adults knows that not only is their child not welcome, specifically their child is not welcome?
sure, that’d be polite. :rolleyes: Sorry I don’t see any polite way to specifically ‘disinvite’ certain people, which this attempts to do.