This is not a pitting of Aunt Flow the Doper, who is a lovely person and has not done anything to annoy me (unless she happens to be one of the bad drivers I always see on the freeways around here). It’s about the monthly visitor with the red hat.
In the last several months, my period has been shifting later, and has given me a few scares. But by now I’d gotten used to it not coming until the Friday of the week when I’m not taking the Pill, and don’t get nervous when this happens. So, of course, this means I can wear non-period underwear and no “just in case” pad on the Thursday of that week, right? Well, it did, until this month.
I’m getting over a miserable cold, and been in kind of a bad mood all week, and this is not helping.
You just fucking hate me, don’t you, Aunt Flo? First you fuck with my mind by shifting later to make me nervous. You know that my life is fairly uncertain now, so pregnancy would be bad news. You also know that I don’t like being reminded of that fact, so what have you been doing? You remind me of it every damn month for the last five months. Then, when you know I’ve gotten used to that and you can’t cause me any more anguish by coming later, you go and put a big ugly red spot on my nice non-period underwear. And you pull this lovely little stunt when the washing machine has just started making a strange noise when it runs, just for extra fun at my expense. Fuck you!
Oh, and I can hardly wait until next month, when I’ll find out what lovely new tricks you’ve come up with to mess up my life somehow. I think it would be funny if you came out blue like the liquid in pad commercials, so you could make me think I was dying or something. Wouldn’t that be fun? It would for you, because you’ve got a fucking sick sense of humor. :mad:
Well, it would seem she’s declined her invitation this month, again. Being otherwise totally symtemless, I’ll just enjoy the “freebie” and wait until the next round.
And ability to pee standing up. Reading Our Bodies, Ourselves at the tender age of 12 (hey, I’d worked my way through all of the fiction, science and biography nonfiction, and was plugging though medicine at the local branch library when I came across human sexuality) firmly entrenched both my relief at being male and my fear of what women have to tolerate. Ladies, I respect you, I revere you, hell, I love you, but I have no envy of your biology. (Well, except that multiple orgasm part. That seems to be pretty nifty.)
I’m going to have to start a thread for all of us menopausal and peri-menopausal Dopers to commiserate in. I also just found out that my mom went through menopause around 50. :eek: Oh, sonofabitch, another ten freaking years? But I feel peri-menopausal now!
So, is there any woman in the world who celebrates her period like those stupid girls in those stupid books for stupid adolescents? If I had been given a choice at 13 - no periods ever, but no kids either, I would have taken it in a heartbeat without one second’s regret. Stupid body. Stupid biology.
What makes me mad is in my whole life I’ve never made a baby. Never really wanted to. What makes Aunt Flo think it could still be a good idea? Believe me, it isn’t! She just likes to be an old nagging poopyhead. Pfffft! :wally
LOL I saw the title and thought “Oh snap, what did I do now?”
But seriously, my namesake is a curse upon us all! She always overstays her visits with me (seriously, is seven days REALLY necessary?) and never lets me know exactly when she’s going to arrive. I’m going to have to also admit that I don’t really have ‘good’ underwear. The only ‘good’ ones I have are saved for special occassions and anymore that’s not too often lol but that’s bordering on tmi.
Count me in on that one! I have spent the past 10 bloody years spending one week out of every month in pain. Bone crunching, womb squishing pain, for which nothing works. I couldn’t go on the pill cause I get migraines, so I went on the mini pill, not much help. I got strong prescription only pain killers, did they help? Did they heck. Nothing has worked, and so one week of every month is spent with me feeling sick with pain. So yeah, given a choice, no thanks. Stupid biology.
I’m not sure how much leeway you have with the birth control pill and migraines, but for many women, it’s worth trying different formulations 'til you hit one that does the trick.
I had rolling-on-the-floor menstrual pain monthly for years (treated with Fiorinal, which did help, but generally made me want to take more Fiorinal) until I hit on Demulen, which eliminated Aunt Flo entirely – I rarely have to even get out a liner. I’m 40 now and still happy with this arrangement (well, other than when I had to abandon it to pursue pregnancy, but that was worth the effort). Good luck, and better living through chemistry.
I had a baby 6 months ago, breastfed for 3 months a YEAR without a period! YAY! WOOHOO! Aw crap, Aunt Flo bitch slapped me. Snuck up and destroyed a beautiful linen skirt. For days I thought I was gonna die. Now she’s sulking around waiting to attack.
I’ve gone through the whole gamut of them, and with every single one apart from this one, but including Depo, I’ve had constant bleeding. The one I’m on at least doesn’t make me bleed constantly, but is doing nothing for the pain either. I’m seriously considering the Mirena.
and anymore that’s not too often lol but that’s bordering on tmi.