Interesting. I see that it also means that you can no longer get pregnant either.
And now Aunt Flo is just being silly. Two weeks fucking early. Grrrrr.
I have never been so glad to have a penis.
I never would’ve guessed a Happy Clam for a guy!
Or maybe that’s not what you meant by “having a penis”… 
Okaaay… obviously the word “clam” has applications beyond shellfish that I had not previously considered. Perhaps I should simply end each of my posts with the phrase “I Just Like Shellfish, Okay?”? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Ahh, your body can play evil tricks on you, too. Some of them are ones that could happen to anybody, but there are some male-specific ones, too.
Is that a siphon in your shell, or are you just happy to see us?
I’ve been on NuvaRing for all of five days and so far, I feel better than I did on the pills I was on. The only obvious difference is a bit of an increase in…ah…discharge. No biggie.
I hate having periods (though I like the “whew!” aspect) but I’ve found I can’t go more than six weeks or so between them, at least on any of the pills I’ve been on. I think I just might try going longer on the ring if things go well for the next couple of cycles. Maybe the different hormones will agree with me better.
On the first day of your period…
- The box of tampons on your bathroom shelf will be empty.
- If you have pads, one of two conditions will exist:
a) You will be out of clean underwear
b) Your last pair of clean underwear will be the nicest pair you own
Robin
I was quite glad to get my period this month as I had a yeast infection from antibiotics. I just finished up the medicine for that when Aunt Flo flew in. I was stressed so it tried to hold off, but luckily the heaviest days were saved for today and yesterday. I have passed at least two clots the size of hen’s eggs today and felt blood rush out of my cervix when I laughed three time now, twice so heavy that it splashed over the side of the pad and soaked my undies too. I am very glad not to be at work today.
Once, I had a gusher like that at the office. It was the day for the Christmas party. I did not dare get up, because I knew I was sitting in a pool of blood. I waited until everyone left for the party and spent nearly an hour cleaning up. I did my best to dry the chair and then saw the outline of the wet spot still showed, so I re-wet the entire seat and spread the moisture evenly and then went home and let it dry. There was not much visble when I got back to work, but I could tell where the stain had been. I hated it, but what could I do?
A few days later, I noticed the arm of my chair was chewed up and looked and lo and behold, someone had swapped my chair! I looked around and found it was my assistant. I wonder how he would have felt if he knew. I am sure he traded because he did not want the chair with the chewed up arm. It made me chuckle ever time I noticed that chair at his desk.
I don’t understand about the not wearing nice panties. I always wash the panties out in cold water, or my husband does, and I almost always get all of the stain out. I would not keep panties that are visibly stained. I do tend to wear cotton ones, as the pad sticks better.
I keep a few pairs of oldish underwear for times like this. I’ve had very nice, very expensive panties ruined because I couldn’t wash them out in time. So I wear the old ones and everyone’s happy. (I wear pants maybe 95% of the time, so I don’t have to worry about anyone seeing them.)
Robin
I hate, hate, HATE my period.
It’s regular, but who cares? It lasts only three days, but on the last day, the cramps are so debilitating that I take 800 milligrams of Ibuprofen every four hours until I’m sure they’ve subsided. Two weeks before I get my period, I become so irritated, annoyed, emotional and reactive that I avoid any kind of interaction with other people. Unfortunately, that mood lasts about a WEEK.
The worst part is that I’ve known I didn’t want children since I was 33, but no doctor would even consider any treatment that may affect my ability to have children. I’m 42 now; perhaps I can get one to listen.
Truly, I wish I had been born a male.
Fuck you, Aunt Flo.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to murder this thread with my rant.
I blame PMS.
Some people have the “Heloise gene”, some don’t. Some women have it, some don’t, just like some men have it and some don’t.
Those who do, like you, can remember all those little household hints and tricks on how to get out various types of stains and all. You’re also organized enough not to forget to wash the item in question quickly after the stain happens.
Those of us who don’t- we have some mental block that keeps us from remembering household hints, or makes us mix up the ones we do know. We can’t remember if we’re supposed to soak it in cold water, pour white wine (or was it seltzer water?) on it, or sacrifice a goat over it at the next full moon. We just have to toss it in the washer with the next load (or the one after that) and hope for the best.
If “the best” doesn’t turn out to be the complete removal of the stain, it’s better if the underwear were dark to begin with, because at least it won’t show.
I swear, blood does nothing to me. ( retired E.M.T. ), and so doing “that” laundry is just fine. I even make a sincere effort to remember those Hints from Heloise.
The last time I needed to get a serious blood stain out, I did just what I remembered reading. First I put a wad of chewing gum on the area, then I put the whole thing into a zip-lok baggie and put it into the freezer for a few days.
Sometimes I get confused… 
There are times when I’m glad I have a penis too.
Large Marge, I’m sorry but I think I was having trouble getting the gist of your post.
Cartooniverse
:eek: ODD juxtapositioning, to say the least.
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Did you remember to rub peanut butter on it first, Cartooniverse?
(And now the ads are for THE PEACECOMPANY. Hee.)
Yes, I really must learn to stop waffling and come to the point. 
Is this a joke?
I’ve been pretty fortunate, Aunt Flo doesn’t cause too much of a stir around my house. The only reason I get PMS pain is if I’ve been drinking caffeine or not had enough vitamin B; not drinking caffeine significantly reduces any mood swings associated with Aunt Flo, so the longer I can avoid my addiction to coke, the better off I’ll be.
My primary irritation with Aunt Flo is that her visit means I’m not pregnant, which doesn’t help with mood swings associated with my fear that I will be unable to have children, which makes me stress and results in irregular visits. Of course the monthly visits give me a little hope, even if it is unwarranted, that one day my system will be put to use, so overall I don’t mind it much.
Large Marge, I couldn’t imagine a doctor being unsympathetic to your wishes. I knew a lady in Seattle that decided at age 20 she didn’t want children and had it taken care of then. Perhaps you’d have better luck in a state colored blue.
After I had my first child (now 4) my GYN suggested Mirena, saying that is was effective, worry free, but may make me gain weight. She forgot to mention that I wouldn’t get my period! I had it for 3 years, period free, until I had it removed to have my second daughter (oh WHY God!!!) and then requested to have it reinserted. Health insurance paid for it both times, which is good because I heard that it cost about $200. I got it put in about a month ago, but I had my period! Then I started to break out, all over my face. My dermatologist said it was the hormones. Has anyone experienced that? Im wondering if my periods will EVENTUALLY go away, because thats what I was aiming for. I too have period panties now…
And for the record, my daughters are my treasures…